Last month, the world of Israeli cultivation shook dramatically.
Blush brushes fell in astonishment, mascaras were smeared in panic, eyeliner drew tears from the eyelid line.
Beauty priestess Ashley Waxman Bakshi has surprisingly announced to hundreds of thousands of her YouTube followers that after a decade of thriving activity she is about to stop uploading videos to the site.
In an area where Waxman controlled Bakshi almost unquestionably, this is no less than an earthquake.
After all, she was one of the first in the country to recognize the potential of instructional videos on YouTube, and her immense success, culminating in her imitation in "Wonderland," has grown over the years to hundreds of blue-and-white students trying her way, with varying degrees of success and originality.
"I was the first, I broke the records of all the records, and it's very exciting and stunning," she explains for the first time after the dramatic announcement.
"But I felt, okay, need to know when to stop and move on. It was clear to me that I would not be on YouTube until I was 80, and I preferred to make the decision myself. That the universe would not make it for me because there are no more views and I am pathetic."
The decision to shut down the camera came, of course, following the Corona.
"A lot of people have said that the plague is an opportunity to break out and flourish online, and that's true. But when you have four children locked up at home - everything looks different."
Explain.
"Suddenly, for the first time in my life, I felt the difficulty of combining parenting with a career. After ten years with a regular schedule of every Sunday and Thursday, I suddenly could not upload a video.
I felt the anxiety that I was not up to date, that people were waiting, that I was disappointing, that they would not wait for me - and I would disappear.
“I started asking myself if I was doing it out of love, or because I was afraid of losing it.
” The first time I did not upload a video in time, I felt a severe disappointment from myself because I am very perfectionist.
If something small does not go right - I go under the blankets.
I had real verbal violence towards myself in my head.
"My mind went through a lot of upheavals during the Corona period, and I wanted to leave everything more than once.
" I did not do that, but I started doing other things at the same time.
I started studying nutrition because I felt the need to hold on to something even when everything outward was functioning normally.
I had a sense of self-failure. "
Did you share with your followers what you are going through?
The deliberation lasted a year, and I shared it with my audience. Most of the people, including my husband and Nathaniel Moyal, my public relations man, told me not to retire. "The Ministry of Defense told me that I was crazy to leave to do YouTube, and yet I left. It's the same here."
In an interview with the "Shishvat" supplement of "Israel Today" to be published tomorrow (Friday), Waxman talks about the lump she removed from her chest for the second time, about the need to explain Israel to the world and what the next thing she plans to do.
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