"Politeness costs little and buys everything."
This sentence from Montaigne sums up the importance of this linguistic courtesy which is politeness.
We were told so often when we were children: "say" thank you "," please "," hello Madam "... And maybe our parents were right.
Politeness would get the best of the most cranky man and make it possible to achieve wonders.
But where does it come from?
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Politeness comes from the Latin
politus
which means "smooth", "shiny". This is what gave in French the adjective "polished", when one speaks, for example, of "polished pebbles" by the sea. Like these pebbles, our language would be "smoothed" by these little words of savoir-vivre that make communication more fluid, without roughness.
Indeed, what is also called "civility" refers to what makes us "civil", from the Latin
civis
(citizen), that is to say, allows us to live in society.
This is the reason why the rules of politeness vary according to the cultures: where one will find very distinguished in most of the European countries to keep his hands on the edge of the table, an Englishman will undoubtedly find it shocking and will prefer to keep them on the knees.
The same goes for words: linguistic civility is relative to the society to which we belong and allows us to integrate ourselves into it.
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But to our French formulas! The word "thank you", for example, comes from the Latin
merces
which originally meant "the price" and then quickly becomes "the favor". "Thank you" becomes in the Middle Ages synonymous with "grace" or "mercy": we find this meaning in the expression "ask for thank you". However, as soon as someone gives us his mercy, we become his obligation. This is how "thank you" has become this expression of thanks which actually expresses our gratitude in the face of someone's generosity.
Likewise, “please”, which we use indiscriminately, has a strong meaning that we tend to forget.
Indeed, this is an impersonal conditional clause which means "if you like".
Originally, this is therefore a very hypothetical request: "could you give me the butter, please" would in fact be "do you want to pass me the butter" ... who is kind!