A few days ago, while waiting with dozens of parents to be admitted to my daughter's educator for Parents' Day, a pedagogical thought came to my mind.
With all due respect to the current compulsion of zoom lessons, in which students mainly practice changing backgrounds and adding rabbit ear filters, the education system has not changed much since I left it more than 40 years ago, and maybe it's time to refresh.
I wondered to myself what I would change if I were the Minister of Education. What of all the professions I have learned and taught my daughters is really critical to the continuation of life, and what is unnecessary. I marked as important English (even though there is Google Translate today), math (even though there is a calculator on the phone, and to know how long it will take for a car that leaves Tel Aviv to Haifa at 60 km / h because of the traffic jam I name Wise) and physical education (even though we were not taught Pilates. Mouth). In the end, I came to the conclusion that the subject that is really missing in the school curriculum is negotiation theory.
Our lives are full of negotiations, so called because their goal is to be married more so that less is given.
Some can change our lives from success to failure.
The first negotiation lesson you get right after you are born: your little roar and your parents realize that either they bring you something to eat right away, or they went for the night.
Since the event comes back day after day, and at this point all your grapples make them infinitely happy and every smile melts them, you realize there is a matter of give and take: give a scream and take a tit.
Later you will try to develop this format in front of the whole world around you, although as the years go by, you will find that the negotiations become more complicated, and your starting position only gets worse.
Parents will teach you that everyone can be biased and that you can negotiate everything, including when you go to bed, what you will eat for lunch, when you will do your homework and how much time in front of the screen you can get for everything.
With parents it's even easier because they are usually in your favor and love you.
Things will get complicated in front of the teachers at the school, in front of the friends in the playground or in a battle over the heart of the girl she will fall in love with.
In contrast to the dialogue with a mother at the age of two months, here you will have to demonstrate much better negotiation skills in order to gain access to her heart.
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Negotiation course at school can teach our children how to approach a conversation with professionals and get a good price, how to identify a crook with an angel face, how to have a conversation with the cable company where a disengagement is staged to achieve better conditions, how to cheat the test tester She was supposed to get off the road a long time ago, how do you explain to the policeman that you did not cross in red, and how you do not pay the plumber NIS 5,000 for replacing the windshield with a pipe in the bathroom.
Geography and literature is important, but it's more important that you know how to tell a beautiful story that will convince the boss at work to raise your salary.
Otherwise, with all due respect to your knowledge of Bialik's poetry, he will make your salary for the slaughter and lick you the nest for the bird and the three eggs.
Negotiation has clear rules of expression, discourse and etiquette, and should be memorized to be prepared for the future.
Do you want to buy a used car?
Adopt the rules of negotiation of a Turkish bazaar and the face of a Turkish prison.
Put on your face a look of dissatisfied heartburn, and God forbid do not show enthusiasm.
During the negotiations, he asked questions that came to the conclusion that it was a fait accompli, such as "she seems to be eating fat" or "I understand you did not take care of her in a licensed garage."
Part of the dialogue is the wonderful sentence that opens each negotiation: "Is there anything to talk about ...?" Which means: Dude, we both know that the price you put in the ad does not come close to any reasonable reality, I'm about to offer you a particularly insulting counter-offer now. We'll meet in the middle.
Do not be ashamed to leave the place expressing disgust at what you have seen, but do not overdo the walking speed.
If you are good, the other side will call you back.
Did you get married?
Congratulations and welcome to the world of couple negotiations.
Unlike the business world, in a marriage it is difficult to fool the other side over time.
You can not sting and run away, unless you married Eyal Golan without a financial agreement.
There is no buyer and seller here like in the retail world, and if you do not run several relationships at the same time, it is impossible to compare prices and switch to buying in another store.
Negotiations deal with issues such as: Who will be the child? Who will fold laundry? Who will wash dishes? When do we have a relationship? Everything is subject to bargaining, where the other party, despite all the love and passion, will use every possible and dirty trick to achieve at your own expense. These include: "I have not slept all night", "I have a crazy day at work tomorrow", "I have already woken up six times", "I have a corona disease of a new breed that has not yet been diagnosed", "Prove it is my child", and more.
Hosting a family during the holidays is a subject of negotiation between you and your spouse and between you two and your families, and mismanagement of it can lead to crises.
This is because in the beginning your loyalty is not yet defined, and you are torn between your love for your mother and your love for your wife.
In that case, do not be ashamed to keep an accurate record of all family events, and do not be tempted by a spouse trying to downplay a particular holiday, in the style of, "Do you compare a light meal of some dried fruit on Tu B'Shvat to my parents 'Seder night to your parents'?" She, of course: "My parents were broken that we did not join them in planting."
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One of the most successful tactics during negotiations is silence, especially here, in a country where people are not accustomed to silence.
Let the other side talk while you keep quiet, and you will not believe how many things you will achieve.
for example:
Seller: This lamp costs NIS 700.
You: Silence.
Seller: But to you I do it in 600.
You: Silence.
Seller: Including VAT.
You: Silence.
Seller: And the lead on me.
You: Silence.
Seller: And I've add you three more LED bulbs.
You: Silence and nodding.
Our country captains send experts with degrees in game theory to negotiate a prisoner exchange with Hamas, which to date have not really proven themselves and usually ended in the replacement of one of ours for 1,000 of them.
If you want to achieve improved results in the following negotiations, I suggest sending them the best crooks from the "Yitzat Tzadik" program, people who know how to take NIS 10,000 in exchange for a rubber band in the air conditioner.
Instead of punishing them publicly, we will send them to negotiate with our enemies, and then we will see if Hamas does not release our prisoners in exchange for a used product, and further convincing ours it cost more.
yairn@israelhayom.co.il
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