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"For better or for worse, I've always liked to find myself overexposed": excerpts from "My Body", the book by Emily Ratajkowski

2022-01-14T07:17:08.409Z


Selected excerpts from Emily Ratajkowski's book, My Body, in which she reveals herself by recounting memories and lived experiences.


[…] I was trying to assess where, according to my parents, I fit into the world of beauty. It seemed important to both of them, but especially to my mother, that their daughter be perceived as beautiful; they liked to tell their friends that people came to talk to me to advise me to become a model and, later, when I was in high school, my success in this field when I had signed with an agency. They considered the fact of being a model as a boon that they had to encourage, as responsible parents.


- Has she ever had her portrait taken? She could make a lot of money

, a woman once said as we stood in line at our supermarket checkout.

Once back in my mother's car, in the parking lot of the mall, I burst into tears.


- Mom, I don't want my portrait taken!

Read also "

"It's my body": Emily Ratajkowski forcefully exposes her disturbing belly



For me, this expression evoked something very brutal.

[…]


My first

comp card

model (a standard size card with my measurements and professional photos, the one we leave at castings for clients), my father posted it in the room where he teaches, next to his office. When I was in high school, my mother had framed a black and white photo of me, 24 x 28, taken during a shoot; she had hung it in the kitchen, right in front of the front door, so that anyone arriving at our house was immediately greeted by my sulky lips, my bare legs and my frizzy hair. This photo made me uncomfortable, as much as the place where she was. After leaving the house, I managed to convince my mother to remove it. But it had already been hanging there for several years.


- You're right, she told me.

This photo no longer suits you.

Today, you are much more beautiful than that.


To be beautiful was for me a way of being exceptional.

By being exceptional, I perceived the love of my parents at best.

In video, Emily Ratajkowski: from modeling to feminism

[…] I post Instagram photos that I consider authentic testimonies of my beauty and then obsessively check the likes to see if the internet agrees with me.

These data, I seek them more than I care to admit, trying to assess my charms with as much objectivity and realism as possible.

I want to be able to rely on my beauty to protect me, to understand precisely how much power and how helpful I have.

[…] But I was not only unforgettable;

I was unforgettably sexy, which in many ways was gratifying.

It had always been obvious to me that the most desirable, the most attractive woman was always the most powerful wherever she was, just like the Victoria's Secret tops I had seen advancing. towards me on this giant screen.

And, in many ways, my life had indeed changed.

Strangers greeted me enthusiastically.

Famous men, who made me crack when I was a kid, flirted with me.

Beautiful women spoke to me as if I were one of them.

Cover Story: The Emily Ratajowski Effect

Cover Story: The Emily Ratajowski Effect

Emily Ratajkowski wears a tweed coat, wool skirt, and brooch, all The Kooples;

a Dior beret and an Arthus-Bertrand necklace.

Photo Francois Rotger

Cover Story: The Emily Ratajowski Effect

White collar.

- Silk crepe blouse and jumpsuit, Chloé.

Mauboussin rings, Emily bag, The Kooples.

Photo Francois Rotger

Cover Story: The Emily Ratajowski Effect

The feline.

- Black lace dress, leopard faux fur coat, The Kooples.

Gold medallion necklace, Arthus-Bertrand, gold and diamond bracelet, Dinh Van, Mauboussin rings.


Photo Francois Rotger

Cover Story: The Emily Ratajowski Effect

Capital elegance.

- Wool cape, plumetis tulle blouse and black knit panties, Dior.

Mauboussin rings, Chloé salomés.

Photo Francois Rotger

Cover Story: The Emily Ratajowski Effect

Cover Story: The Emily Ratajowski Effect

Cover Story: The Emily Ratajowski Effect

Cover Story: The Emily Ratajowski Effect

Cover Story: The Emily Ratajowski Effect

Cover Story: The Emily Ratajowski Effect

See the slideshow

10 pictures

I was found on the covers of magazines, I was invited to glamorous parties that I would never have dreamed of attending. Forget the Thai dishes and the duvets of the supermarkets - now, I was sent countless boxes of designer clothes for free. I could land in the hottest restaurants in New York and Los Angeles, there was always room for me. And I had more money than I ever imagined I could make: I put down a deposit on a loft a few blocks from my Arts District place, this time a bright place, with a gigantic window and a swimming pool on the roof. […]

Yet, I had the feeling of being caught in a whirlwind and no longer controlling anything.

This life, I had not chosen it and I did not know very well how I had ended up there and what that meant in relation to the person I was going to become.

I hated going to auditions, especially film and television auditions, where I almost always had to read in front of several men who I was convinced had no regard for me.

[…]

Whether for better or for worse, I've always liked being overexposed.

[…] I'm still addicted to the feeling of overreactions - comments and likes - to my Instagram posts. Taking a picture off the cuff and posting it for twenty-eight million people sucks. There's something exciting about knowing that people all over the world might be discussing what I just sent. Creating this kind of tidal wave at will, it causes good adrenaline rushes.

Whether for better or for worse, I've always loved finding myself overexposed.

Taking up a lot of space gives me a sense of security.

To be the one who makes the most noise in a room, the one who has an opinion on everything, the one who wears the most low-cut dress.

Make a max.

Taking up space also means becoming a target.

But seeking the gaze and attention of others, and thereby their attacks, gives me the feeling of being stronger, less vulnerable, since it is I who put myself in this situation.

Or at least that's how it feels to me, a lot of the time.

[…]

The editorial staff advises you

  • Emily Ratajkowski: "Beauty is not the only way to have power"

  • Emily Ratajkowski back on the catwalk six months after giving birth

  • Emily Ratajkowski accuses singer Robin Thicke of sexual assault

Source: lefigaro

All news articles on 2022-01-14

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