Screenshot (Photo: Instagram)
Big Mistake: Why It's Not Possible for Dolev Salem to quarrel with Tahonia
The noisy battle between Tahonia Rubel and her ex-husband and her father Yaniv Ben Moshe continues to shake the walls of the swamp - from reports of abuse by Tahonia, continued leakage of her degrading video, to defamation lawsuits, defamation and the involvement of Dolev Salem, his new girlfriend, in the media conflict.
How will it end?
Mia Agassi
20/01/2022
20/01/2022
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In recent days we have witnessed a distorted Manage a-Troyes, starring three figures who have made headlines and refused to get off them, literally at any cost. In the right-hand corner of the arena, Tahonia Rubel, winner of the fifth season of "Big Brother," in which she became famous as an opinionated and strong, actress, model and even a bit of a singer, as revealed when she was revealed under the babushka costume, in "The Singer in a Mask."
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In the left corner of the arena, Tahonia's fresh divorcee, who became one not long after being crowned her new husband: Yaniv Ben Moshe, an architect who was betrothed to her by her rabbi, who turns out to be no more successful matchmaker than Hatmoni's psychologists. The divorce battle between Rubel and Moshe from the beginning was characterized by a high level of toxicity, with both sides claiming the violence they experienced during the relationship and waging the war between them close to the eyes of the media and social networks. Rubel even filed a defamation lawsuit against Yaniv Ben Moshe, but that's not even what complicates this story the most.
Dolev Salem, Ben Moshe's new partner, did not hesitate to enter the wrestling arena.
Salem is a controversial figure among breeders and dog owners, by virtue of being a trader of tiny, furry Pomeranian and Shiitake dogs, but we put that aside.
In response to Tahonia's slanders (Ben Moshe, to remind you), Salem did not remain obligated and also began to attack her under any fresh story.
We have not yet had time to refresh, and Rubel has also filed a defamation lawsuit against her.
Gossip lovers sit in front of all these happenings with a bowl of popcorn and just wait for the next development, but there is a more complex phenomenon here.
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Sagi Breslav, a couple and family therapist, asked to make it clear to us (and therefore) at the beginning of this conversation that she does not know those involved in the affair personally, and that she does not talk about them but draws from similar cases of acute conflict she has dealt with in her professional experience.
Is there a place for a new spouse, to interfere in the spouse's mess with his ex?
"It depends on what you want to be, smart or right. If it's important to you to be right, then you take sides and judge a relationship you were not part of and you do not know from the inside - unilaterally. You know this relationship only from the testimony of the partner who comes with "Precipitation, with a damaged ego, with insult and even with a desire for revenge. You go into the swamp and start paddling in the mud? Clean, you will not get out of it."
Theorem for the Pantheon. So what's the alternative?
"If you want to be smart, you take into account that this relationship, of which you were not a part, has two sides. And you understand that man does not always tell facts as they are, but in a way that serves his needs, especially if he is in the middle of a struggle."
And there are situations where you should be right and not smart?
I make it difficult for her, but she answers simply:
"No. It is always better to be smart and understand that it is not worth judging divorced spouses, and certainly not as the new spouse. As a new spouse you are not at all in a position to take sides."
This is not the case with Dolev Slam, who not only does not seem to mind snatching sparks, she also adds fuel to the fire at every opportunity
. "And there is a price for such a position. Every person should ask himself if he is willing to pay that price."
In the case of Rubel and Salem, this price is not only mental, but is also expressed in libel claims for plump sums.
I do not know how much slam a puppy sells shizu, but it seems to me that a respectable puppy should be sent to pay a defamation lawsuit and court costs, if you lose.
Who would have believed that this is how it would end (Photo: screenshot, Instagram)
At this point I reveal to Sagi that the relationship between Salam and Ben Moshe is really new - the couple is officially dating for something like about three months.
Does an older spouse have more legitimacy to open a front in front of the ex?
Breslav recommends that at no point in the relationship, the new spouse be part of the struggle with the previous one, and all that has been said makes me wonder about Ben Moshe's responsibility in the whole story.
So far we have dealt with the dynamics between the two women, but what about the side that can make a stop to all this?
"It's a bit post-mortem at this point," Breslav tells me, "because the boundaries have to be set from the beginning. Instead, you dragged a new factor into the arena, gave it a one-sided position and exposed it to a restless environment that was not part of it at all. Leads the relationship to a place where it starts in an unhealthy way, and in general, "she says," people who rush from relationship to relationship, when they are still not closed with the previous chapter in their lives, do not behave fairly and do not give enough recognition to possible third party harm. "That the heart wants. But to enter into unresolved ties in the midst of war? Common sense says - 'to be preserved'."
It sounds daunting, but Breslav claims there is still hope, for this and similar stories.
"A person can come to his ex at this point and say to her, 'Let's calm down. We'll close between ourselves. We'll go to mediation."
And is it not too late?
"No. Mediation is correct for every stage of the conflict."
The problem is that Yaniv Ben Moshe does not make voices of reassurance. The opposite. According to various reports, he also closed the food tap for Tehonia and it is not clear at the moment what amounts he is transferring to her, if at all. For those who are not involved in family law, we will explain that alimony is divided into sections and halves and sometimes each such section is discussed separately. So if Tahonia claims he is not paying and Yaniv claims he is paying - it could be that they are both right. But it does not matter, what matters is the fact that again, everything is done at high volume, with reactions to the media and mutual insults about parental alienation.
And who pays the price?
"The kids," Breslav says. In the case of Rubel and Ben Moshe, it is one small toddler, which, according to Breslav, is "just tragic. The girl should be seen as the heart of the story. She has a biological father and a biological mother and a wife who may be the father's spouse, and must not be tested."
This triangle of horrors is a common phenomenon. People prefer to be right, than smart?
"It's a common situation, because people get caught up in the heat of the moment into certain positions, at their own expense and at the expense of soft-spoken children."
And do you have any tips for those who are in such a situation?
"Say 'stop', zoom out and not get excited. Lower the flames and find ways to be considerate, settled and less driven by feelings of revenge and vulnerability. Much less. And it can be done at any stage, just have to choose it. It's hard when emotions are stormy, but possible "You just have to choose."
The interviewee is Sagi Breslav, a couple and family therapist, with a master's degree in social work and director of the "Strengths" treatment center in Haifa for individuals, couples and families.
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Tahounia Rubel
Yaniv Ben Moshe
Relationships
Love
Divorce
