Last week, Yoav Eliassi managed to surprise the country.
The man who used to send quarrelsome political posts to his million followers on social media has released an unusual post in which he apologizes for past harassment he has committed against women.
"Once you are famous you are sure that everything is due to you, that everyone owes you and that you are the center of the world and the world should respect you," wrote The Shadow.
"When you know a girl, you're half-god - what if a simple people would refuse you? What is it not ?! If you go to a party or a restaurant, why would you suddenly wait outside with everyone? It's insolence!
"I used to be like that too. I never forced myself, but I spoke repulsively, I pressed, I was angry that they told me no, I even got girls out of the car halfway when they refused me. All to inflate my stinking ego. I was proud of the amount of my conquests. Like I said , Half to.
'I want to vomit from the behavior of Yoav of yesteryear!
As a father to Thia today, if someone had treated my daughter the way I treated some of the girls, I would have left him without teeth in his mouth.
I did things that were once considered normal, and today would not be accepted.
Provocative auditions - like judging wet shirt competitions, morbidly provocative clips.
"Today I am struck by sin. Aware and disgusted by who I was, and doing everything to correct, for my daughter's future. And when I see all the stories of rape and harassment of the stars of Israel (and the world), I understand exactly where it came from. I admit there were times I misunderstood the situation "And when I realized I was wrong, I knew how to stop. So that girl says no, what does she mean ?!"
This week, in the first extensive interview since the post, which in the atmosphere of the period was held out of the isolation in which he resides after falling ill in Corona, he explains what made him put himself into an issue that every celebrity just runs away from.
"The idea for this post came up after I saw the conduct of celebrities in all the alleged harassment stories, recently published. Gal Ochowski, Yossi Schwartz, the owner of the forum club, and Assi Ezer. In one month there were full complaints about full celebrities, I watched them all, and no one came "Sorry." They found every excuse and every explanation, but not the word "sorry." And that's what made me sit down to write and tell the whole truth.
"I'm not a bad or violent or aggressive person, and in life I will not raise a hand against a woman. I have never forced myself on someone, but I have made a mistake in my life. I have harmed girls mentally. It does not have to be sexual abuse, but today I understand words have power.
"It's not that today I'm perfect, holy, innocent or righteous. I'm not in those areas and not close to it at all. But I do know I was wrong and hit on sin, because it hurts me. True, more than a decade has passed, but I want to apologize again to every girl "I've behaved inappropriately towards her ever since."
"I was wrong."
Part of the post of "The Shadow",
• • •
Did you consult with anyone before publishing the post?
"I read it to my friend, and he said to me, 'You're not normal. You're not posting this. What the fuck are you doing?
"I told him, 'You can't live your whole life like this, in a sense of fear, and not talk, because maybe someone will complain about something I did 20 years ago.' I'm used to being looked for, but for me the truth must be told.
With Lynn, if your children, did you consult?
"Yes, and she also objected. She claimed it was too exposed and extreme. I told her, 'Very well, that's exactly what I wanted,' and at that moment I published."
Weren't you afraid of women popping up claiming you sexually assaulted them?
"There is no man who is not afraid of it. Nowadays it is better to be a crook and a thief than a sexual attacker. If you think I slept quietly after this post, you are wrong. It did me no good. People like to see celebrities like me crash."
And yet you wrote.
"These are fears we live with anyway, so why not talk about them? It's like pushing a stick into a wasp's nest. You wake them up and might get stung. I think it might do better than bad. I knew if I did not, no one would do it. .
"The pressure was not for anyone to complain about me, but when I went through the reactions, a lot of people wished I had such a thing, for someone to get up and complain. No matter how mentally strong you are, it seeps into your brain. Suddenly you lie in bed and find yourself recreating scenes from 20 years ago." .
Some would say that this post is meant to precede a cure for Mecca at all. You feared that there might be complaints against you.
"It was clear to me that they would say that, and I said, okay, they would say. I have been famous for 20 years, and now they will suddenly remember what I did then? If so, I must never speak. "I was a fascist, a racist, they tried to disable me. Now they will suddenly remember that there is also sexual harassment? I don't think it makes sense."
Can a minor get up today and say you were with her?
"It does not sound like something detached from reality, because then it was harder to know what their age was than today. I had a relationship at the time with someone who lied to me about her age for half a year. She was a 16 and a half year old barmaid and told me she was 20. I knew her as a barmaid. In Tel Aviv, and it turns out that in the mornings she would go to school. "
How did you find out?
"One day she asked me to take something out of her bag, and suddenly I see a youth card. I went after her and found out that after she leaves my house, she changes into a school shirt. That day I finished it. And you see, at that time it was not unusual. They were. "There were free lies, and this is also a serious problem. It's not like today, that everything is explosive and more scrutinizing. Once you see someone with a cigarette and alcohol, it looks fine to you."
"Today I am doing everything to fix, for my daughter's future."
With Lynn and the children Kai and Thia,
• • •
As expected, the post went viral and won follow-ups in all media.
Quite a few were surprised by the fact that the shadow, accustomed to writing aggressively and rigidly, changed his skin.
"I feel like I'm going through a more emotional period," he explains.
"It's not that I'm not sensitive before, but lately I've become a lot more, and the fundraising I did for my parents after they were evicted has strengthened it. When I write politics and I'm shot, I smile and I do not care. When it's personal, I'm more vulnerable. ".
He is 44 years old, lives in Tel Aviv, with Lynn, the mother of his children, and the children Kai, 8, and Thaya, 4.
His great breakthrough into consciousness was in the early 2000s together with his music partner, Kobi Shimoni, in a subliminal and shadow ensemble.
They soon became the strongest duo in music, at a time when Static and Ben-El were still learning to read.
“We were the last rockstars in the field before social media came into our lives,” he says.
"If anyone wanted to write me something, he had to come to my house or send it by mail. There were girls who slept outside my house, and there were also those who came into my house. It was an aggressive period. We were inaccessible and there was no way to see me. When they saw, They would go all out, and fast. "
Describe to me your agenda in those days.
"In the morning there were performances of 'The youth will behave differently' around the country, in the evening performances at a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, and at night performances in clubs. Everywhere we went, they would throw themselves at us. You also have to understand that we were famous, at the peak, "Competition. There were no Omar Adam and Eyal Golan. Everything was around us. We were sparkling, strange and unique chicken."
And from here the road to bed is pretty fast.
"I was flowing with everything. I fulfilled everything I could not fulfill before. As a teenager I was rejected, fat, insecure. Suddenly you are a rockstar, and you take advantage of everything you did not have.
"There were days when it came to nine girls in the evening. I used to be proud of it, today I feel sorry for myself. I look at myself and ask myself, what the hell was the purpose.
"It was not just me. But I'm the only one who comes and admits it. There are artists who do shocking things, talk to people in a shocking way, and everything seems obvious to them. Many times they forget that human beings are human beings, and it does not matter if you are famous or not." .
What things have you done that you regret?
"There were times when I was aggressive and blunt. I felt they really owed me, and if a girl said 'no' to me, I would say to myself, 'What, why who are you? How dare you say no to me.' And I would just belittle her. "Because she did not agree to kiss me, and I told her things that tore her mind. What a zero I had to be for that to happen. And the fact that it happened."
Were there more cases?
"Digging back now on everyone I was with, it does not make sense. I do not know what was right and what was not. I also do not know how to take a situation from 20 years ago and examine it in today's codes. I was with a lot of women, and I do not know what all sex was Lee did to someone else.Can be mine was amazing and she did not, and vice versa.
"After I wrote the post I talked to some girls I had interaction with one way or another. Yesterday, for example, I talked to someone who told me I tried to kiss her and she did not want to, and I humiliated her so much that to this day she has feelings of inferiority from what I said to her."
How did you feel when she told you that?
"I crashed. I just wanted to die. But let it be clear - as soon as she said 'no', it was not. I did not try to force myself or try again. But she hurt my ego, and I allowed myself to act like a douche."
What did you tell her in the conversation now?
"We talked for about 20 minutes, and first of all I apologized. I admit it's not easy to hear these things about yourself. She told me she was happy to see the change I went through. She also said that to this day she has refrained from reading me on social media because of the same incident. Start reading. "
"Girls would throw themselves at us."
With subliminal,
• • •
Did you get any more responses from women who were hurt by you?
"There was nothing I was shocked by or did not know how to digest. Anyone who approached me, or saw her respond with a complaint against me, approached her on my own initiative. There was someone who wrote in an Instagram post that she was hurt by the way I spoke to her.
"I approached her privately, and she told me that I spoke unkindly to her partner. It was so unkind, that to this day she is hurt by me and remembers it.
"There were girls who told me about detached situations that did not happen. I explained to them that at that time there was a rapper very similar to me, who used to introduce himself by my name. He was tattooed with a French beard, and he hit quite a few women.
"I remember at the time, one morning a mother of a 16-year-old girl called me and yelled at me, 'What did you do to my daughter?' "Naked from home in south Tel Aviv. In our conversation she also threatened to go to the police and the press, and I advised her to do it, because I knew it was not me, and this is a serious act. In retrospect, we realized it was someone else."
You described in the post the "wet shirt" competition.
"It was something very acceptable. Every club in Tel Aviv that considered itself relevant had such a line. Because the hip hop culture is very sexual and open, the connection between rappers and competition was natural. We would come and host such competitions, and the next day we had the most legitimate article in the world. And our picture with the winner. "
How many times did you continue with the winner?
"Many times".
Describe to me what your tour of Tel Aviv bars would have looked like at that time.
"If friends had come to visit us, I would have taken them to 'Allenby 40', and there it was hell. At the height of the night girls spread their minds. And it was not a one-off, it would just happen. You are sitting at the bar, and suddenly someone is naked in front of you ".
Hallucinatory.
"I am of the opinion that every girl has the right to do what she wants with her body. If she wants to be a stripper, be a stripper. But there is a gap between doing what you want with the body and standing on the bar and everyone will touch you."
I guess you objected to outlawing strip clubs.
"When the strip clubs were outlawed, it did worse. Sorry for the comparison, but they took a zoo and released the animals out. Although today there are no more strip clubs, but every second girl posts pictures on 'OnlyFans' (a paid website that offers bold pictures ; ע"ס).
This is a hit, and many of the girls who have OnlyFans also make money beyond that.
A girl who tells me 'Look for me on OnlyFans', you know she'll do anything for money.
And from there, the road to prostitution is short. "
• • •
Eliassi, who is used to being kidnapped in the media, received a lot of praise for the post.
Avri Gilad even called him here last week "Hero of the Week".
"I did not write it to be someone's hero and not to get likes or to be talked about," Eliassi says.
"I took a risk, and I did not know which direction it would go. Usually I can estimate what reactions there will be, but in this case I did not know how they would react. After I raised it my stomach ached, but I knew it had to go out sometime. I remember going out for a walk with my daughter one day. "And I thought about how she would grow up and start dating, and meet someone famous who would want her, but she would not want to sleep with him, and then he would reduce her and scratch her for life. It did not occur to me.
I think this is the first time you are almost a consensus.
"The media in Israel mainly like to discredit me, but in the end, I was the one who stood naked in front of the entire State of Israel and said, 'I'm not okay.' Show me another one who did this.
"Many said to me, 'What are you doing?'
"It was called running into the fire. I turned it on and ran into it."
"It is not that today I am perfect, holy, innocent or righteous. But I strike on sin, because it hurts me."
Eliassy, Photo: Kfir Ziv
In his apology post, Eliassi said he too was harassed by men in the industry.
'All sorts of stars, who all know their names well, allowed themselves to try to pressure me to try to cross sides, and insisted that all straights be gay.
I was told, 'Try it, it's an acquired taste, like sushi.
I was even improperly touched live.
"I'm confident enough in my sexuality and I took it with a smile, but the truth is - it was not funny."
Are you a homophobe?
"Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not really a homophobe, and I'm very liberal, and when a man starts dating me it's even flattering to me. But there were scenes at work in the industry where I was unequivocally harassed. And more than once.
"For example, there was a familiar facilitator who interviewed me and put a hand into my shirt, fingered me and started telling me how he would work for me in the community. Now he tells you that lightly, but he was really aggressive. Not sure anyone else would slip it like me.
"There was someone who made me up, and suddenly started stroking me and telling me that he was also with women, and that being with a man is an acquired taste. Or how women do not know how to please men as men know to please men. If I did it to a girl, it would ".
• • •
How are you doing today with women?
"Start with me, and everything's good and beautiful, but I'm less fluent with girls who send me messages, because this whole story of sexual harassment scares me. Today it's easiest to bring a person down for sexual harassment, even if he did nothing. Someone will complain about you, and you "Even if you prove it, the pasta has already been thrown on the wall and the stain will remain."
Two weeks ago, the story of Asi Ezer and Yehuda Nahari made headlines. Did you get to talk to any of them?
"Yehuda called me and asked me to participate with him in a campaign he is running to increase awareness of sexual harassment among men. I'm considering it. He sounds like a very nice guy, but I do not want to take sides between him and Asi. I am not in a position to judge, I was not there and I do not know what happened there.
"I just recommend to everyone: if someone is hurt by you, just apologize to them. We need to learn to take responsibility, and that's relevant in all areas."
If there is already an atmosphere of corrections, and as one whose words have implications, perhaps this is also an opportunity to refine the style?
"If I did not do what I do my way, they would not listen to me. When you convey the message aggressively, more people listen to you. Levant no one listens, because it is monotonous. I, everything I talk about, opens editions today. I have already been elected several times as one of the influencers in the media, and not by chance. "
Two months ago, Eliassy launched a mass recruitment campaign, after a court ruled that his sick parents should be evicted from their apartment - he said, because of "political assassination".
He asked his 540,000 Facebook followers for donations to buy a home for his parents, and in return promised to run for politics.
Within two days, he had already raised a million shekels, and so far a million and a half million have been raised.
"I've never regretted a sentence so quickly as this sentence," he smiles.
"From the second I posted it to the second I got back exactly ten minutes passed. The 'pipe' team was already on their way to interview me. They had not yet arrived, and I had already regretted it."
Is there a chance you'll run sometime?
"I will not do it for myself. I am an honest person, and I do not believe anyone there. Politics is a polluted place, without ideology, I do not see myself screwed within this thing."
erans@israelhayom.co.il
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