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Giselle Cycowicz is actually retired.
But the 93-year-old psychotherapist still keeps in touch with her former patients.
Due to Covid-19 on the phone and via zoom.
She has been caring for Holocaust survivors in Jerusalem since 1992. The patient-therapist relationship is one of deep trust, and Giselle knows exactly what is tormenting her patients.
Because she was there herself – in Auschwitz.
Giselle Cycowicz, former psychotherapist Amcha:
I came as a therapist for the Holocaust survivors and was then introduced to the group. It's maybe a hundred people, members. I tell them, "My name is Giselle Cycowicz and I'm a Holocaust survivor." I've never said that before. I've lived in America for 44 years, I've never said to anyone, "I'm a Holocaust survivor," because nobody asked.
In May 1944, she and her family were deported from their hometown of Khust in Hungary to Auschwitz in a railway carriage like the one in the Yad Vashem memorial today.
Giselle Cycowicz, former psychotherapist Amcha:
Three days. It was very, very quiet. The people who were there were with their families. They all spoke in whispers. We saw a large wooden sign that said "Auschwitz-Birkenau." We didn't know that. We had never heard those words, never.
Talking is so important.
But many victims of the Shoah were not able to do this for decades, the experience was too traumatic.
And old age makes it worse. Time doesn't heal.
Martin Auerbach, Clinical Director of Amcha Israel:
Extreme traumas accompany us throughout our lives. And interestingly, in old age after retirement, where new losses are at stake again – life partners become ill or mobility is restricted. The focus is on the past, and experiences from childhood and adolescence, from the past, become much more relevant. And so we have Amcha in Israel. We care for Holocaust survivors, a very large increase in older Holocaust survivors in their 80s and 90s. They say: »Now we come and want to talk about it.«
According to the self-help organization Amcha in Israel, 8,725 survivors of the Holocaust are cared for.
Last year alone with 242,489 therapy hours.
Life after survival is shaped by the traumatic experiences of childhood and adolescence.
Giselle Cycowicz, former psychotherapist Amcha:
Suddenly the ramp is full of people. The selection is carried out. We don't know what that is. We have no idea what's happening there. They tell people to undress and hang their clothes on the hooks there. "Remember where they put them because they're going to need them." Within 20 minutes they were taken and killed. 20 minutes. 2000 people in a gas chamber. And the children, the children die first. I was seventeen at the time.
Just as important as therapies are the social activities in the meeting places of Amcha.
Festivals, commemorations, just being together is the way out of isolation.
That's how it was before Corona.
Martin Auerbach, Clinical Director of Amcha Israel:
It's a place that's inside, I quote, for those who say it's like a kind of second home for me. I feel safe there, safe. And here I can also tell things about which I had the feeling: I only experienced that. Nobody can understand that. That's actually the basic trauma. A trauma is a feeling. There's a feeling that something happened to me and I can't really tell anyone about it. And even if I tell it, he or she will not understand.
Giselle Cycowicz, former psychotherapist Amcha:
And then they said, "Take off." We have no hair, no clothes. The hunger is getting worse and worse. The tragedy that my mother was taken away. The tragedy that my father was killed. With every roll call there is a great risk. We are in constant fear.
Giselle's father was murdered in a gas chamber in Auschwitz.
The pain is still there.
About 565,000 Hungarian Jews were murdered, a total of about six million Jewish people.
Giselle, her sisters and her mother survived.
And then stayed close to each other.
Giselle Cycowicz, former psychotherapist Amcha:
It felt so good to be together and plan things, ask for advice, laugh and talk about home. Most of the Holocaust survivors have not. We were lucky that we stayed alive. Not everyone had that.
Many are alone.
Therapists are often their only caregivers.
The Shoah is a constant companion.
In all details, with all images, sounds, fears, thoughts, feelings of guilt.
Holocaust trauma doesn't just come back every now and then.
Giselle Cycowicz, former psychotherapist Amcha:
It's not coming back. It's always on our minds. It is always with us. It will not go away. It can't go away because all sorts of things are happening and suddenly I remember. I remember so many terrible... Now in winter I remember what happened.
The Corona loneliness reinforces the basic feeling of being abandoned by many Holocaust survivors.
The meeting points are closed, but you can see each other online.
This is used intensively, but those who are too weak or unable to participate in video conferences suffer the most.
The reaction of Holocaust survivors to Corona loneliness is very individual.
Giselle Cycowicz, former psychotherapist Amcha:
There are many survivors who have very, very strong resilience, who have also shown their resilience over the last few decades and who actually sometimes even say: »Yes, for me it's not that bad. I've seen worse, haven't I?' We hear that from time to time. But there are many survivors who say, "I've had a kind of sense of security for the last few decades. It's actually a little quieter now. And suddenly the world falls apart again.«
Giselle Cycowicz has also missed a lot since the start of the Covid 19 pandemic.
But she is coping well and is optimistic.
With material from:
Helena Schätzle for AMCHA Germany eV
AMCHA Israel
ZUMA Wire / imago images
AP and Reuters