Courtesy of those photographed

"Self-worth was low" The victim's mental account of impersonation

Orly Cohen fell in love with the impostor - after two weeks the first red light came on and she began to understand that something was wrong here.

The traumatic event made her realize a lot of things about her self-worth, and now she is a completely different person

Mia Agassi

10/02/2022

10/02/2022

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Exits of millions, Olympic champions and champions, thinkers, writers, brilliant scientists - all made in the country but none of them, have reached the achievement of "Simon Leviev", who won a docu on Netflix following his sickening deeds.

Leviev (who chose the fake last name to present himself as linked to the family of the oligarch Lev Leviev), deceived, cheated, lied, hid, forged and impersonated, dropping dozens of women who fell in love with him, and to this day pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in debts, after Who fraudulently took money from them.

Congratulations, Simon.

You managed to embarrass an entire nation.

The truth?

I do not see myself ever falling victim to such a thing.

Not because I am better than the women that are, but because my levels of trust in humanity are so low in the first place, that I do not see a situation where someone drags me into such a situation.

Indeed, I know firsthand how things that have not been worked on and resolved correctly for almost 40 years, can lead to the same destructive patterns of behavior over and over again and I did not assume that an interview with a victim of an impostor would prove it to me once again.

The world of imposters is horrifying, tantalizing and not just a lot of women, more alert today than ever.

The impostors seem to be like bad and scary wolves, roaming the woods trying to locate their next prey.

No one wants to be their next cheat meal so we are pampered with articles, posts and bristles from Haim Etgar, which explain to us which red flags to watch out for and when to suspect that the charismatic man you had a match with is a pathological liar and may even suffer from severe personality disorder.

But all these warnings, not worth much, it turns out,

If your self-esteem is low.

This is what Orly Cohen claims to me, who knows what she is saying.

Orly fell victim to an impostor and today she delivers a fascinating lecture called "Imposters - the story from my side", in which she recounts what led her to fall into the trap of an impostor, how she escaped his venomous spider origin and how she used the crisis to improve and leverage her life.

"When self-esteem is low, the longing for a relationship increases," says Cohen.

"In my case it was low self-esteem and a great thirst for love and obviously he located it and dressed up for it. But there were other things, which are usually less talked about in the context of imposters."

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What do you mean?

"Such things do not just read. Whoever judges the women who deceive them, seeks a rational explanation, but not everything is rational. We do not always know what motivates our actions. For example, childhood experiences. Today I know why I fell there, but I remember myself So I had no awareness. "

"I was not dragged into a relationship for years, like other women. We were together for barely three weeks and at first he scattered on me, not just money. Also, money. Restaurants, cafes, treats. But it's not just that. He really showered me with emotion, he started talking about moving to live close to me, about the future, all day long conversations, messages. He gave me a sense of security that he was there for me, that he was not leaving. In the pocket and it got to the point where I bought him a wallet because I could not see all the bills like that.

Cohen met the impostor / crook (at one point I stopped following how many names he has), through a post he posted on a Facebook dating group, in which he spread lies and half-truths and introduced himself as a romantic who comes with a rose.

"He really brought a rose for the first date," says Cohen. "He also opened the car door for me."

And when did you realize something was wrong?

"He had a business, really. I know he cheated people in the business too. Anyway, one day we sat together and one of his alleged employees called him. In retrospect, it was just someone who collaborated on the scam. That 'employee' asked for a loan of a few. Thousands of shekels unrelated to his salary and he agreed to give it to him. Normally it would have made sense, but after two weeks of a man scattering money on the right and left, it seemed strange. "My card was charged NIS 500 at a clothing store."

"Yeah, from that moment on I started checking and he surpassed that I suspected him."

The crook, it turns out, pulled out the oldest trick in the book of flutes and made Cohen Gazlating.

"He played her who is the victim. He turned it over to me, did full of manipulations and at the end I started to think I was imagining. After all, he has money, why would he steal my credit?"

Despite the doubts, she invited the crook to her home and admits: "It was the dumbest part of the whole story, because I already had a doubt and did not have to bring him into my house. I wanted so badly to keep this connection, that my logic refused to perceive that he was a thief and a liar."

And how was the visit?

"He walked around my house like he lived there. Like he owned the house. He went from room to room and said what needs to be renovated, he's out of bounds, so he played her he was going to make a makeover at home. At one point I went to take down the trash and he took advantage of the momentum and stole Kim who was buried in the changing table. What he did not know was that it was an account book that was closed, from the time I was married. When I came back from downstairs, he behaved normally and offered me to participate in renewing my car license. I made sure to perform right in front of the bank's cameras. "

"Not as usual. That night I could not fall asleep and was very, very upset. I called him and told him I wanted to meet, that he would return my license and that I wanted to think about the connection between us. "Not the money. He played her a victim again and also told me that he would help me find the one who stole my credit. At that point I was already completely unsettled and the one who put a stop to it, is my mother."

"She saw me, heard what was happening and encouraged me to go to the police. At first I did not even want to because if it was not him - then I was destroying something good now? But her intuition was strong and she was right."

To Cohen's surprise and disappointment, the police at the station pulled out pictures of criminals known to them and there also starred a picture of the crook.

"They do not say what the previous cases are about, but they showed me a picture of an arrest. I felt the ground drop under my feet. It is a stinging feeling of terrible betrayal. I felt like an idiot."

Just a few weeks after visiting the station, Cohen also found out about the checkbook stolen that day from the dresser at home.

"Checks started coming back and a few more and would limit my and my divorcee's account. I contacted everyone who received checks from the crook. I did not pay them, but I explained what happened. Everyone felt that something was wrong with him and that he was a crook, but no. Take the trouble to check in depth. "

Cohen's story took place about 8 years ago.

Today, the crook is about 40 years old and will soon be released from prison, where he is serving a three-year prison sentence for the offenses he committed.

"Even he lied about his age. After that I found out I was older than I thought, I'm 43 now. He lied about that too because he did not want the age gap to be shaky. He also told me then that he was divorced and he was even married, for the first time. "He stung her. He has several children from several women and I contacted all of them and also women who corresponded with him.

Does this method of work remind you of anyone?

Hyos, Simon Leviev.

It turns out that this deceptive Ponzi scam characterizes a lot of imposters.

Got on it (Photo: courtesy of those photographed)

I think there are a lot of women who want to think "it will not happen to me".

This is true?

"There is no tape. Do not try to find a tape of women for whom this is happening. I talked to each of his women. The only thing they were missing was awareness."

"Self-awareness. The more we know ourselves, the less likely we are to fall into such a situation. After my mother passed away, I realized many things and it is important to understand what is blocking us. It's like digging out of your own prison. Just discovering who we really are. "That's what will give us the opportunity to trust us much more. Only in this way will we not fall."

In those moments I felt dumb.

There were red lights, there were signs even on the first date, his little behaviors, but I did not want to see it.

It's like an actor playing a character and suddenly without noticing, comes out of the character and reveals his true self.

In retrospect, this story shook and transformed my life in the full sense of the word.

It woke me up and I embarked on a process of developing self-awareness and raising self-esteem.

I gained courage, left a senior position and made a transition to teaching.

One of the reasons, is to catch young children in time, so that they do not deteriorate into what he did. "

" I wish him to take responsibility for his life.

Let him stop, understand what he is doing and where he is deteriorating time after time.

To me it did only good.

I'm in a role I love, I have a sense of mission I've never had and this whole story, it's the lesson and closure I needed in my life.

Things do not just happen. "

The lecture "Imposters - the story from my side", can be ordered frontally or in zoom, by contacting Orly Cohen

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