"In the beginning I hated Mondays": How a woman from Holzkirchner (42) found out from the valley of sadness
Created: 04/06/2022, 08:30
By: Andreas Höger
The smile is back: Caroline Göbel and her children (from left) Marina, Leonhard and Daniel have had to manage on their own since the fatal traffic accident of their partner and father a year ago.
A great help, says the 42-year-old, was the generous donations and the willingness to help of many people.
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A world collapsed for Caro Göbel (42) on March 29, 2021.
Her partner was killed in a traffic accident.
The shock of the loss and the concern for the three children shook the woman from Holzkirchner.
She decided to take an unusual step - and does not regret it, as she emphasizes in an interview a year later.
Holzkirchen
– It's been a year since Caro Göbel's (42) little world collapsed.
Her partner Andreas Klupak was on his way home from work in Warngau to Holzkirchen when a flatbed truck rammed his scooter at Marschall's.
The 43-year-old was in the wrong place at the wrong second.
The father of the family died at the scene of the accident, as did the driver of the flatbed truck.
From now on here Caro Göbel was alone.
Alone with three children, the little son only seven months old.
Alone with her pain and worry about what will happen next.
Her boyfriend had been by her side for 18 years.
For our happiness, he always said, we don't need a marriage.
But now there was no one to support the family as the main breadwinner.
What about the older son's studies, how does the eleven-year-old daughter react?
Friends spontaneously organized a fundraiser.
And Caro Göbel decided not to crawl into her situation, but to use the offer of
Holzkirchner Merkur
and tell what this stroke of fate is doing to her and that she needs help.
Three weeks later, friends and many readers had donated 90,000 euros.
A year has passed, and a Caro Göbel answers the phone who has regained her footing in life.
"I'm so grateful to so many people," she says over and over again in conversation.
And she wants to help others who met a similar fate.
Ms Göbel, a few days ago it was the first anniversary of the accidental death of your partner. How did you prepare for this?
Caro Göbel:
I was afraid, I was miserable.
In no case did I want to be at home.
Actually I was quite stable before that, but in the run-up to the anniversary I lost strength again.
How did you spend the day?
Caro Göbel:
We drove out to Marschall, where it happened.
All three children were there, we put roses on the cross.
It's extremely difficult for me, because I have the feeling that it's still there somehow.
I don't know what to do with the cemetery, but I can feel it there.
That's why I don't really like being there.
You sense your significant other, but don't like being there?
Caro Göbel:
Sounds like a contradiction, but that's how it is.
I'm not one to talk to the dead.
But when I'm there, I tell him things that are important to me.
After that I feel there it is, but I can't take it home with me.
This is so bad, it hurts me so much.
On the anniversary itself, a resident saw us standing in the field, she was a first aider at the time.
She came spontaneously and told us how she fought for my boyfriend's life.
A nice encounter.
Shortly after the accident, a reader who had experienced something similar wrote to you that you shouldn't rush things, look ahead, give yourself time. Did they heed the advice?
Caro Göbel:
In fact, I've often thought about it.
The idea of having to flee from everything, only away - that's wrong.
The garden gate that my friend went through, our little son now goes through.
The painful sting is overwritten by a beautiful image.
Running away is useless.
You can also give in to grief, sit there and cry for two days.
You can.
What helped you find your way out of the valley of sadness?
Caro Göbel:
Two therapists were by my side, who encouraged me to allow feelings.
And it helps to know that many others have gone through a similar situation.
Life goes on, it's getting back to normal.
Others have also experienced the rug being pulled out from under them.
You did it, so I can do it too.
How is your economic situation?
Caro Göbel:
I work as a party manager for Tupperware, in the fall I will start as a tax clerk.
Two thirds of the donation money is still there.
That was a huge relief, it gave me the air to breathe.
I use it for rent, running costs and as an iron reserve, for example for a short family vacation.
It's supposed to go to Italy, where we used to be.
The first time without him.
Wouldn't it be more relaxing to go somewhere else where sadness isn't omnipresent?
Caro Göbel:
I've learned that it has to be.
Memory is okay, but it goes on, something new begins.
It is also a wish of my daughter, she needs it. I trust myself to endure it.
He will be among us, just invisible.
What experiences would you pass on to people who met a similar fate?
Caro Göbel:
Let us help you.
Accept the help and solidarity, allow them.
Don't isolate yourself.
People like to do that.
Someone told me, "Give it back if you want and can."
A nice thought that helped me.
The step to seek the public was brave. The right decision?
Caro Göbel:
For me yes.
It took effort.
But as a result, thanks to the donations and the willingness to help of many people, I have gained time and joie de vivre for my family.
I was able to ignore economic worries.
How often do you think about this March 29, 2021?
Caro Göbel:
He keeps coming back, but I can deal with it better and better.
It happened on a Monday, at first every Monday was bad.
I hated Mondays.
That's over today.
Now the anniversary is done.
Despite all willingness to help: When did you have the feeling that I now have to do it on my own?
Caro Göbel:
After ten weeks I needed a cut.
The help was meant nicely, but then I closed the doors.
Three children, two of them at home.
They need me, it's a nice job.
I admit there are things that stress me out.
Multitasking doesn't work yet.
If several things hit me at the same time, I react unfairly and irritably.
During the conversation, it was noticeable that after sad thoughts you immediately switched back to positive things.
Caro Göbel:
That describes my year quite well.
Something infinitely painful happened and I was able to gain wonderful experiences.
A terrible and beautiful year.
Read here how Caro Göbel was doing a year ago.
