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Right now, a brawl in Israel Israel today

2022-04-28T06:59:28.414Z


The violent events in Israeli hotels prove that we have a land flowing with milk and pepper spray, so why not market the brawl holiday concept to the world? • like what? 4-night and 8-night vacation packages at Royal Nagha or Kappa Hotel


Personally, I did not go on a Passover holiday this year, perhaps because I had a hard time choosing from the many tempting options: Should I wait for hours at Ben Gurion Airport, prefer an anti-deodorant waiting queue at the Sinai border crossing, or go on a blue-and-white vacation in Wadi Ara traffic jams?

But while I was vacationing at home and reading a newspaper, I realized that there were people who would not mind getting out of their houses and spending their vacation in the way they liked best - a brawl at a hotel.

The reports told of a mass brawl that broke out at the Leonardo Hotel in Eilat, a glorious event with many participants, during which one of them surpassed himself and, as at Ammunition Hill, did not hesitate for a moment, looked directly at the enemy and sprayed pepper spray on his eyes. Someone thought it was a terrorist attack.

I have no idea who the opponents in the fight were, against what background it took place and if there was a mobilization of reserve forces during it, but it does not seem to me that these are people who came to the Eilat Jazz Festival or stayed at a hotel for a peace and love conference.

It is not clear if the fighting broke out following a quarrel over the rattle of the rattle, over the last two croissants at the buffet or because of a territorial dispute over a table with a sea view.

I also do not know the name of the Leonardo hotel chain, whether it was named after Leonardo da Vinci who was one of the greatest Renaissance artists and became famous as a scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, painter, sculptor and architect (but not as a plastic chair thrower), or perhaps after Leonardo DiCaprio , A well-known film actor (though according to the recent event, it would have been more appropriate to call him by the name of movie star Bruce Lee).

In any case, as one who has visited the network more than once, it is a respectable network of hotels and not of boxing arenas or of the Colosseum in Rome during the Gladiator battles.

My heart goes out to the guests, who paid a lot of money to escape some of the stress of the last two years and the violent news that haunts us, and enjoy a pleasant and relaxing holiday in the southern resort town - and finally had to dodge flying fruit trays, and try to explain to children The smell of pepper gas in the air even though they did not order anything spicy, and why instead of waiters walking around the buffet border guards.

Also endangering hotel staff, who have to separate the hawks and snatch a chair in their head, and also explain to guests that this is not an aerobic session of the entertainment staff, and then still have to continue to serve them after the event.

• • •

We, the Israelis, are learning battles and wars.

We have already seen on television and on networks mothers quarreling in a public garden or visiting hospitals that make medical staff members need medical care;

Not to mention the daring air battles of the chocolate flight.

But think of innocent Americans, Swedes or Georgians who just wanted to catch some sun in Eilat and are getting ready for a descent to the famous Israeli breakfast.

The father, an insurance agent by profession, is dressed in a floral Hawaiian shirt befitting a tourist on vacation, the mother is a Pilates teacher in a spring beach outfit, the kids are combed, polite and looking forward to breakfast, and as they step out of the elevator and hum "what a wonderful world" - a plastic crown chair flies towards them.

Before they got here they were warned that missiles were flying here, but did not say that the launch was being carried out in the lobby amid a dispute over cheese borax, and that there was no plastic dome system to protect them.

In short, welcome to Israel.

If the BDS movement really wants to harm us - it does not have to send pictures from Gaza, you can send videos of the fire exchange in the Leonardo Eilat envelope.

On the other hand, those who come to Israel must take into account that this is a challenging country.

For those who want a cheap, peaceful and relaxed vacation, it is better to travel to Switzerland anyway and sing Yodel while climbing mountains in knee-high socks, alongside sheep with bells around their necks.

We are others, we have a land of milk and pepper gas, and instead of being ashamed - we should present it as an added value.

In this context, it may be time to change direction and market ourselves differently to world tourists.

Instead of Tel Aviv, a city without a break - a brawl without separation.

Instead of a tummy-tuck in the Dead Sea - a tummy tuck and a back in Eilat.

As the capital of the fights of the world, we will be able to offer vacation packages of 4 nights and 8 provocations in hotels such as "Royal Nagha" or "Kappa Hotel", and we will bring here extreme and mess lovers from all over the world.

Something along the lines of "Survival, the real world."

Within our borders there is always a chance of a missile from the north or south, and in cities can always emerge some private initiative for a terrorist attack, not to mention the cities involved and the flammable potential.

This way we will be able to market the concept of the brawl holiday concept to the world.

• • •

So that the enthusiastic tourists do not have to wait near the incident, action can already be produced on the flight to Israel with the help of undercover passengers who will light the flight attendant in the style of the chocolate flight.

Each hotel, in addition to the entertainment staff, will also have a deteriorating staff - professional fighters who will degenerate the situation into violent areas.

A kind of undercover, to be called "hiding" and will heat up the atmosphere in the dining room and around the pool.

The team will actively incorporate the ego-duo-do tradition, but will ensure that the dance is performed with plastic chairs in hand.

All this goodness will be recorded on cameras around the hotel as at Disneyland facilities, and at the end of the holiday the guest will be able to purchase cool videos documenting him during the brawl with faces that pocket those documenting people on a roller coaster, and share them on social networks under the hashtag ktata_eilat. When he returns home.

Israel will enjoy a high ranking in the tourist guides in the list of the ten best brawl hotels in the world, Noga Nir Ne'eman will be able to compare the quality of the beatings in different hotels and check if a mass brawl or a boutique quarrel is better, and what value you will get for your money.

The question also arises as to whether, as part of the general refresh of the industry, it is not worth transferring responsibility for it from the Ministry of Tourism to the Ministry of Internal Security?

In any case, as part of the rebranding of the domain, it is possible to refresh old passwords with minor changes, for example: right now, a brawl in Israel;

Snob, have you been beaten in Eilat ?;

I jump on Eilat and everyone will jump;

Or: Take a stick, take a backpack, we'll hit Bel Boy in the Galilee.

You can also use the wonderful song "Come to Eilat", with the line:

Let's escape from the asphalt,

And from the crumpled cities,

Let's escape to some lagoons and fights,

Come to Eilat - with KaplastT.

yairn@israelhayom.co.il

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Source: israelhayom

All news articles on 2022-04-28

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