A knock on the door shattered the world of Michael, Baruch and Itzik, and in an instant left them alone.
Each of them lost his only son during his military service.
In a special meeting, they tell "Israel Today" about the difficulty of rejoicing after losing their whole world, about the longing for a son who will not return and about the remorse for signing the certificate.
"In one of our conversations I told him, 'You are the only son I have, I have no more children and I will not have any more children.' So he said to me, 'Dad, it will be all right.'"
This is what Michael Kushnir, 59, the father of the late Sgt.
"For nine months he conducted a campaign of persuasion in front of me to sign for him. He told me he wanted to enlist in the Armored Forces, 53rd Battalion where I did my military service. He explained to me that all my life I had educated him to contribute and that he wanted to be like me. to him".
Still, Michael recounts a case that does not give him rest: "In one of the conversations, after a night of fighting, he told me a sentence that to this day I do not forget: 'Dad, I understand why you did not want to sign me. If you want - you will cancel the "The signature." But it was Thursday night, and the city officer does not accept on Friday.
On July 31, 2014, during Tzuk Eitan, when Shai and his team left the Gaza Strip after tunneling operations, mortar shells were fired at them and the APC in which they were staying was hit. Shai was killed, along with four other fighters.
Itzik Elimelech, Baruch Ben Yigal and Michael Kushnir, Photo: Yehoshua Yosef
"The matter of signing and recruiting for the Golani was born with us on a trip to Poland," says Baruch Ben Yigal, 52, the father of the IDF fighter, the late Sgt. Eli from there, and said to me ‘You are the son of Holocaust survivors, your father was in a concentration camp.
There was no state or army then, so I want to enlist in my army. '
I said to him 'Fellow, do you remember that you are my only son, I have no more children', and then he said to me 'You said you believe in Gd, and everyone has a time capsule. So trust God'. And I trusted God, but it took me two months Until I signed for him. "
"I have no next generation"
Just like them, Itzik Elimelech (55), the father of the late Sergeant Bar Elimelech, lost his only son. "Bar was my only son, I have no other children besides him.
Since he was killed I have been left alone.
I lost the joy of life, life became one big sadness, "he says, and tears flow from his eyes." For 35 years I was a DJ of big events, and Bar would help me.
I made people happy, but since the disaster I hardly do events, I do not go to weddings.
My image in my head was a breakup would get married, be married - and it would not happen.
I do not have a next generation, which is difficult.
I keep myself from falling every day. "
For more than a month, Sergeant Bar Elimelech fought for his life in the hospital, until the severe injury overwhelmed him in July 2015. Bar, who served in the Air Force, was badly burned in a fire that broke out in the living room at his base, after a permanent man used flammable material to clean the residence.
"For 33 days he fought for his life. I was at his bedside, I did not leave him even for a moment - but he did not survive the injury."
"I just want to feel it"
The three fathers do not live alongside the mothers of their sons, and the memories and longings they carry almost alone.
"I just want to feel his hand on my shoulder," says Itzik Elimelech.
"He would say to me, 'Dad, I'll always take care of you.' "You are a champion." Since a fracture was killed, for me every day is a day of remembrance.
And he also has a little wish: "Bar was an artist, he was a musician who wrote songs, he had a love for cooking and also a lot of sense of humor. I would like the famous singers in the country to take the song he wrote and sing it. It will be a memory for me."
In the house of Michael Kushnir is still the box he received from the army, in which Shai's items and songs he wrote, but even now, eight years after his death, it remains closed.
"Shai was also a musician, those who fell with him were also musicians, and at the same time I said that God is setting up a band there on a serious scale. He also wrote songs that are in his equipment, but I did not go to him. At first I would go to the closet to smell the uniform, because I had a feeling "They have his smell. Today I do not do that either, because the smell is gone," he says.
"The longings are terrible. During the shiva I did not digest things enough to understand what was happening. The understanding begins to penetrate after the shiva, when you are left alone at home. Anyone who says that over time it will be simpler and easier - it is not true. The longing kills you."
We meet them together with Lt. Col. (Res.) Irit Oren Gonders, chairman and founder of "Light for Families", an organization that has set itself the goal of strengthening parents who have lost their children in the Israeli systems.
She organizes events, vacations, social gatherings, performances and more for them - all through donations.
The meeting between them warms the heart.
"Bereavement does not end. Bereavement is a daily war to get up in the morning and raise your head in front of the world. The loss of a child, of a spouse, of a grandchild, is a loss from which there is no recovery. And here is our moral duty to the families who paid the heaviest price Israel. We work every day and throughout the year to help the bereaved families stand up, every day a little, every day a little more. With great determination we maintain sanity, the right to rejoice, the right to smile, dress, wear makeup, celebrate holidays, be there for the remaining brothers ".
Lt. Col. (Res.) Irit Oren Gonders, Chairman and Founder of "Light for Families",
After the fall of Amit Ben Yigal, his father Baruch makes sure to reach every new family.
And yet, there is a part of it that finds it difficult to come to terms with the loss: "There is no doubt that the embrace of the people of Israel helps to get through this nightmare. As time goes on it is more complex, challenging and difficult. I did not agree to sign the death certificate, I was not able to. "
In the same breath, he tells of a colleague who excelled in everything he did: "Fellow breathed sports. He was an athlete, but above all - there was something unique in the way he treated others, the transparent people. From a young age he would bring cake to a guard in kindergarten or school, curfew. "And he asks how they are. He had the ability to look at those who are not looking at them. From the day a colleague falls, it's something I'm always careful about."
What was his dream?
"His dream was to be a lawyer. He studied law and justice. He always wanted to protect the weak."
And what is your dream?
"My dream really is to go with a twin stroller, which on one side will be my grandson from a colleague's seed, and on the other side my child."
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