"Our love is quite normal!": Homosexual couples on the international day against homophobia, biphobia, interphobia and transphobia

Created: 05/17/2022, 12:10 p.m

By: Verena Moeckl

On today's international day against homophobia, biphobia and transphobia we spoke to affected people.

© Aidan Crawley

On today's international day against homophobia, biphobia, interphobia and transphobia, we spoke to homosexual couples from the district of Dachau: About love, their lives and changes in society.

International day against homophobia, biphobia, interphobia and transphobia: Andy and Arno talk about their love

Sulzemoos - Arno and Andy have been together for more than 23 years.

On the international day against homophobia, biphobia, interphobia and transphobia, they talk about coming out, their fears and what it's like to move to a village in the Dachau hinterland as a gay couple.

Happy since 23: Arno (left) and Andy.

© HB

When Arno moves to the Sulzemoos area with the love of his life, he is afraid at first.

Fear of stupid sayings, of stupid looks.

"I was scared that the other villagers would scare us away," says the 44-year-old.

In his hometown of Munich, he experienced public rejection at the time and had to endure hostilities because of his homosexuality.

Arno is gay.

At their conference in Stuttgart in December, the interior ministers of the federal states called for stricter measures against homophobia.

Homosexual couple: Outing, the love of life

When he was 16, he told his mother.

"She didn't want to believe it," he says.

When he is 21 years old, he comes out officially.

"My father hasn't spoken to me for a week." His relationship with his father is no longer what it used to be.

for now.

Then he meets the love of his life: Andy.

After Arno and Andy are a couple, Andy comes out as well.

His relationship with his family also becomes problematic.

Andy's father also distances himself from his son.

"He said I should move away," says Andy Viehbeck today.

The two move in together.

"We lived for a year and a half in 34 square meters in Munich," says Arno.

They have been a couple for 23 years, in a civil partnership for 16 years and married for four years.

Arno takes the surname.

The two are one of 77 same-sex couples who got married in the Dachau district.

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Villagers skeptical about gay couple

In 2003 they built their house in the Sulzemoos municipality.

The two now feel at home in the community.

But that was not always so.

"The village community was skeptical at first," Arno recalls.

Often when it comes to a gay couple, people expect that there is a man and a woman in the relationship.

Arno

He avoids encounters with the boys' club and the fire brigade for the time being.

"I felt uncomfortable at first," he says today.

"Often when it comes to a gay couple, people expect there to be a man and a woman in the relationship."

But the villagers quickly realize that Arno and Andy don't follow this cliché.

"People were impressed that we got involved in building the house," he recalls.

The villagers did not expect two gay men to drive excavators and use jackhammers.

"People have seen that we are completely 'normal' men," says Arno.

“Many have the notion that gay men are birds of paradise.

But that's not true"

“Many have the notion that gay men are birds of paradise.

But that's not true,” emphasizes Andy.

Society must move away from this pigeonhole thinking.

That's why he and his husband think the international day against homophobia, biphobia, interphobia and transphobia is so important.

"Most importantly, transsexuals and transgender people still need to be accepted in our society."

For the 20-year-old generation, homosexuality is completely normal.

andy

How society views homosexuality

Much has already been done for the rights of homosexuals.

At least on paper.

Even today, many people find it difficult to be open to homosexual couples.

Andy and Arno therefore do not want to read their exact place of residence in the newspaper.

But many things are better than before.

"For the 20-year-old generation, homosexuality is completely normal," says Andy.

Or also for children.

When the couple landed in the municipality of Sulzemoos, they met the then four-year-old neighbor's daughter.

"She saw us and said to her friend: They don't have wives because they're gay," says Andy.

The problem is often the parents of the children.

He and his husband have often been compared to pedophiles.

"It's hurtful to be labeled by people who don't even know you," says Andy.

These were formative experiences for the homosexual couple.

So influential that Andy initially did not want to adopt children.

"I was afraid that the child would be attacked," he explains.

Adoption for homosexual couples: "That was unthinkable in Germany, unless you had a fat purse"

In addition, before the adoption law was changed in 2018, it was very difficult for homosexual couples to adopt children, Andy explains.

"That was unthinkable in Germany, unless you had a fat purse." Now the time for adoption is up.

The two have come to terms with it today.

There are many children in the neighborhood.

They also have a large family that stands behind them both.

"My grandmother, who was over 80, took my homosexuality very lightly," says Andy.

By the way, the speech at Andy and Arno's wedding was proudly given by Arno's father.

Lesbian couple: Angie and Dorothea talk about discrimination against homosexuals

Together for 35 years: Angie and Dorothea Braun.

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Angie and Dorothea Braun: Angi (63) and Dorothea (54) come from Dachau and live in the district.

“We have been together since August 1986 and have a son (35).

When it was legally possible to form a civil partnership, we did so on December 17, 2004.

Unfortunately, Bavaria was the only federal state that implemented the federal law differently.

We were not allowed to testify to our civil partnership in Bavaria in front of a registrar, but had to justify it with a notary, without ceremony or personal words, without witnesses.

The notary contract was read to us in monotonous notary singsong, like when you buy a property.

That was very discriminatory.

When the law introducing the right to marry for people of the same sex came into force on October 1, 2017, we had our civil partnership converted into a marriage in front of the registry office on November 24, 2017 and, so to speak, married a second time.

But this time with a ceremony, a really great speech by the registrar, witnesses and many colorfully dressed wedding guests.”

Lesbian couple: Tina and Barbara

The rainbow family: Tina and Barbara and their two children.

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Tina and Barbara have been together for nine years and have two children together.

The rainbow family is at home in Indersdorf.

Lesbian love: Manuela and Laura

Happy three: Manuela (right) and Laura Sudhoff with their daughter Leni.

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Manuela and Laura: The 39-year-old doctor's office manager Manuela and the 33-year-old curative education nurse Laura are a happy family with their daughter Leni.

The lesbian couple met and fell in love twelve years ago playing women's soccer in Röhrmoos.

They live together in the Dachau district and tied the knot on October 10, 2020.

"We became a real family in December 2020, when little Leni saw the light of day and has been keeping us busy ever since."

Gay couple: Markus and Martin

Markus and Martin: Markus (50) is a pianist and lives in the district of Dachau.

He and his partner Martin (54) have been together for five years.

Markus says:

Have been happy for five years: Markus (left) with his friend Martin and their dog.

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Lesbian couple: Caro and Laura

The lesbian couple Laura and Caro from the district of Dachau.

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The two tell:

You can find more current news from the district of Dachau at Merkur.de/Dachau.