In a little over a month, summer vacation will begin, and while for many it is a time of enjoyment - for many other students, those who go through a boycott or are "transparent" students, it is a difficult time because it is during this period that they are left alone.
It's hard to ignore lately the cases that appear on social media about students who go through a boycott, those who are not invited to birthdays, who have not been invited to Lag B'Omer parties or a tour of the mall.
"One day the girls in the class beat me. I was lying on the floor and they kicked me. It hurt me, both body and heart," says Yuli (pseudonym), an elementary school student from the center.
She said that after arguing with her best friend in class, she found out that she was being boycotted: "Since I really have no friends and I feel lonely. When everyone meets or is invited to birthdays - I am not invited. Find reasons to laugh at me and blame me for no reason. The desire to go to school and concentrate and succeed in school. "
She passes these things on through her mother, who is at a loss.
"The great freedom can also be perceived as the 'great fear' for many children and teenagers, especially those who are boycotted or ostracized," says Dalia Cohen, director of parenting and family at the National Community Center Society. Quite a few children actually distance themselves from the formal framework even further away from friends.
"Once the freedom comes they become more isolated - the few friends they have in the classroom are busy, there is no follow-up or information about social events in their spare time, and if they are not connected to a cohesive social group, they are left behind." For screen time and events on social media: "A child who watches the posts and stories of children who have fun while he stays at home, may feel lonely."
To be with the hand on the pulse. "Dalia Cohen,
"My child was not invited to the Lag B'Omer bonfire, the students were not ready for him to come.
When I found out, I was heartbroken, I do not understand what makes the children insist that some child will not be in the fire ", shared Meital (pseudonym), mother of an eighth grader at a school in Sharon." Following a post on the net, I talked about it with another mother Who says there was no permission to invite her son to the campfire.
Some students are quietly boycotted, even if they are not beaten or abused - they are still not invited to events and meetings.
Unfortunately my child is a transparent child, he has no one to play with even at school during the break - so he just sits and stares at the phone.
In the afternoon, he is completely locked in a computer room and does not leave the house. "
She says of the injury: "It hurts and hurts him at a level he did not want to go to school. We were abroad, and when we returned he returned to class crying." She and other parents often wait for action from the system: "The teacher was shocked and I am waiting to see if and how she Will operate.
I read stories all day about children going through a boycott, it's just a huge blow.
This is how you will help your child
With the issue of the boycott brought to the forefront, various groups have opened up on social media, where alongside heartbreaking stories, they also engage in activities that connect children.
One of them is a "sea of friends", where parents create encounters between children, some of whom are boycotted.
According to Dalia Cohen, "It is important that parents keep their hands on the pulse even before the big holiday, and monitor the children's social behavior - do they go out to meetings with classmates or classmates? Do they talk to a friend on the phone about topics unrelated to schoolwork? "If the children are not involved in social connections beyond school assignments and usually stay at home, it is advisable to gently talk to them, to check if there is something that is bothering them and if they are experiencing loneliness."
When asked what can be done when the child goes through a boycott, she replies: "If you find that your child is suffering from exclusion or boycott, give him the strength to understand his worth and empower him outside the abusive group of friends. It is a boycott - do not impose on the child inapplicable and unnecessary social aspirations, it is enough to have two or three good friends. And if the difficulty increases, turn to professionals and even the educational staff, despite the holiday. And solutions that will allow him to enjoy the vacation like everyone else. "
Opportunities in networks
"Parents who identify a problem with their children on leave can turn to the educational psychological services that also operate during the summer vacation," says Dr. Hava Friedman, the national psychologist at the Ministry of Education, explaining:
Teachers and educators deal with emotional and social aspects as part of their work and their relationship with students.
Education staff have been instructed by educational counselors regarding these aspects.
Towards the summer, we are dealing with the issue of how children go on vacation, in what social situation and how they see themselves in the world and on social networks, that is, there is a reference to the transition from school to vacation. "
Not just a boycott
"Attention should be paid to various forms of social exclusion that are very hurtful, it's not just a boycott," explains Dr. Friedman.
In general, the social network is a tremendous opportunity, it has compensated a lot of children and teenagers and has been a lever for new relationships.
On the other hand, it has the potential of great threat, scheming, exclusion and cyber-violence.
"One should also understand that social relationships are dynamic, and can have drastic changes, an acceptable student can become isolated, so parents must be vigilant, pay attention to their child's social aspect, ask questions directly and ask to know what is happening to him."
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