By Elizabeth Chuck
According to psychologists, elementary school children who grow up with lockdown drills should be informed about the Texas massacre, even if the parents' instinct is to protect them from the horror.
The reason is twofold: It's very likely that your kids found out about it anyway, whether it's through their classmates, their older siblings, social media, conversations between their caregivers, or the barrage of breaking news that surrounds them.
[After admitting their mistake, what will happen to the officers in the Texas shooting? One of the police officers is scheduled to be sworn in as a councilman]
And more importantly, as this is a generation for whom routine drills serve as a constant reminder of the very remote possibility that their own safety may be in jeopardy, they should have a safe space to process the tragedy and do questions about it.
There are exceptions when counting children, especially the youngest, the shooting in which 19 children and two teachers died.
But psychologists believe that if parents haven't already talked to their children about what happened Tuesday in Uvalde, most should consider doing so.
The fact that lockdown drills are integrated into children's education may make school shootings less impactful than they were, for example, when the 1999 Columbine massacre occurred in Colorado.
Parents arrive with their children at Long Branch Elementary School for the first day of school on August 30, 2021 in Arlington, Va. Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images
If anything, that makes the need to speak out all the more urgent, according to Stephen Brock, professor and program coordinator for school psychology at California State University, Sacramento.
"It shouldn't change the discussions themselves, but it does increase the likelihood that they will be needed," he said.
[“The city of Uvalde is very disconsolate”: Latinos worry about the effects of the shooting on their mental health]
Elisa Vega's children listened in silence after she hugged them Tuesday afternoon and told them something bad had happened at an elementary school many miles away.
Her children, ages 6 and 9, didn't seem to fully understand, nor did they show much emotion.
Two days later, Vega, who lives with her family in New York City, met with her oldest son, Nico, and asked him about the lockdown drills he has done regularly since he was in preschool.
The third grade boy described the usual practices: his teacher turns off the lights and closes the door.
The students crouch under the tables, where they must remain silent.
They thought that the attacker was entrenched alone but there were children: the "serious mistake" that the Texas police recognized
May 27, 202202:49
Vega asked Nico if he ever talks or laughs during drills.
He said that he doesn't, but mentioned that another partner doesn't usually keep quiet.
Nico then told his mother in a calm tone: "He's going to get us all killed."
That response, as well as a wide range of other reactions, such as feeling numb, confused or scared, is normal, according to psychologists.
[The timeline of the attack on the primary school in Uvalde: what is known about how the tragedy unfolded]
Regardless of the child's age, Brock recommends always communicating any reassuring details.
That may mean making it clear that Uvalde's 18-year-old assailant is no longer alive and can't hurt anyone else.
It also helps explain that administrators are always taking steps to increase safety and that the risk of a student being shot at school remains extremely rare.
Closing drills that are "joyful"
Although lockdown drills start early, many young children who participate in them may not realize the various scenarios they are rehearsing, from armed assailants entering the school to nearby police activity or natural disasters.
According to experts, this is by design.
Active shooter drills, particularly those that simulate shootings, have drawn criticism over the years for traumatizing students and showing no strong evidence that they effectively protect them.
[“My son is no longer going to be returned to me”: the father of a child murdered in Uvalde advocates for gun control]
In recent years, closure drills more suitable for development have been promoted throughout the country.
"I don't want to say it's a game, because we take it seriously, but we try to make it light-hearted," he explained.
Even if children are unaware of the purpose of lockdown drills, psychologist Robin Gurwitch, a professor at Duke University Medical Center, encouraged parents to engage them in conversation and gently correct any misinformation they may have received about the drill. Uvalde shooting.
Katelyn was able to escape the attack on her school but her friend Rojelio did not have the same luck
May 27, 202202:31
He said it was “unlikely” that the kids would have avoided hearing about it this week, suggesting starting the conversation with: “There's been a shooting at a school in Texas.
Tell me what you have heard about this, or tell me what you know about this.”
The Uvalde shooting comes at a sensitive time as anxiety and depression are on the rise in children and a series of hate crimes across the country have hit families hard, recalled Gurwitch, who is also a senior adviser to the National Center for Childhood Traumatic Stress at UCLA-Duke University.
[Irma García, Annabell Rodríguez, Xavier López... Here's what we know about the 21 victims of the Texas school shooting]
Within that may be an opportunity to use the new skills to overcome another tragedy.
“Families have developed some coping strategies.
It might be that we do some breathing or relaxation techniques, it might be taking a walk, playing a game, dancing, listening to music, journaling, or playing with the family pet,” he detailed.
For other kids, especially teens, concrete action, such as participating in advocacy to end gun violence, can help, according to Melissa Brymer, director of terrorism and disaster programs at the National Center for Traumatic Stress Children's at UCLA-Duke University.
Teens with memories of past school shootings aren't necessarily desensitized to them.
Instead, they may want to know why things haven't changed.
“I always try to think about what young people could do, even in their own communities.
Have there been situations this school year where you've been worried about your safety, or been bullied, or seen someone not treated properly, or worried about something that's been posted on the internet?” he said.
“What did they do about it or what can they do?” she added.
[At the NRA convention, they blame “evil” and not guns for the shootings. Trump asks to reinforce schools]
The most important advice is to be honest in conversations with your children.
If a little boy wants to know if someone died in Texas, he will answer truthfully.
“This is what I would say to a [little one]: the chances of it happening at your school are very rare.
It's going to be very unlikely that something like this will happen in your school, but you should know that the adults in your school are working very hard to make the school as safe as possible, so listen to your teachers, listen to your principal, people who is working hard to make the school safe,” Brock said.
“And that is God's truth,” he concluded.
In Farrior's preschool class, none of his young students brought up the Texas shooting.
However, it was impossible not to think about it this week.
"The hardest thing was the day after, being in my hallway as the kids came off the bus, and seeing them run happily, foolishly down the aisle," she said, her voice cracking.
"This is how it should be".