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"I should have seen. I think back and hit on sin" - Walla! Sheee

2022-06-06T13:16:13.307Z


An employee of a large media company was abused at home, and her direct manager and all the women around her did not pay attention to the signs. Now they are beating for sin


Courtesy of the family

"I should have seen. I think back and hit on sin"

When the manager of a large media company discovered that one of her employees was suffering from domestic violence, she brought a social worker, took her on paid leave to help her rebuild her life, but in the shadow of the Sapir Nahum affair, she wondered how she could miss the signs that were there all the time.

A painful confession

C. CEO of a communications company

06/06/2022

06/06/2022

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For the past five days, the country has been in turmoil again due to another case of domestic violence.

Sapir Nahum, a young mother who was recently seen leaving her two-year-old daughter's home, has disappeared from the face of the earth and the suspicion is that her partner has a hand in her disappearance.

Five days that the name makes headlines and opens flashes.

That her smiling picture is experienced in the gates and editions and all of us, really all of us, hope and prayer that she will soon be alive and back in the arms of her expectant daughter.



Only about two months ago, when Israel left the holiday of freedom, Israel entered the Istanbul Convention to Combat Violence Against Women, one of the most advanced conventions in the world in this field.

The purpose of the Convention is to prevent gender-based violence in general and violence against women and girls within the family in particular, to protect victims and to apply its punishments appropriately to perpetrators of harm.



Until a few weeks ago this important news would not have flashed to me in bright colors, as it is today.

Of course as a woman the issue of violence against women affects me, hurts me and their place.

The difficult stories of Shira Isakov, Michal Sala Maya Vishniak and too many others affected me and broke my heart, as they certainly did for every man and woman in Israel, but they were always distant stories.

And as they wrote it so beautifully before, far from the eye far from the heart.

Because family sucks, and business sucks and customers pump.



But today my view is different.

Today it is already close to home.

Lesk.

In fact it's right inside the business.


Less than two months ago an employee of mine, an employee I love and respect, who in order to maintain her privacy I do not identify at the end of this article, informed me that she was leaving home.

If I say it was like thunder on a clear day, the continuation of our conversation was like a snowstorm on a summer day.

She said that her husband of three years, the same one I had hugged on their wedding day, the same one who came to our formation evenings, started beating her a few months after their son was born.

what??


She stands in front of me, puffy red eyes (have they always been puffy?) Her back is bent looking towards the floor (when was the last time we really exchanged glances?) And showed me a big blue mark on her arm (how long has it been there?)

More on Walla!

She is said to be insane and a liar, but the truth is in the middle

To the full article

More on Walla!

  • Wanting to change things does not mean you do not love yourself

Sapir Nahum, missing from Acre (Photo: courtesy of the family)

And she says she must leave him.

He is violent.

He's dangerous.

She quietly says big words that explode in my head.

violent?

dangerous?

I did not see that.

How did I not see?

I who anticipate customer crises, who anticipate advertising and public relations opportunities, I who boast of my ability to read people.

For the first time in my life I look at a woman I see every day, in front of my eyes, and discover that she is experiencing a life-threatening reality and that without me, the sharp one, not seeing.



And I had to see.


Because it turns out that for about a year now she has been afraid to be home when he gets up in the morning, so she always arrives early - sometimes with disheveled hair and untidy clothes.

And it turns out she is afraid to leave the baby alone with his father, so she has stopped working long days or staying beyond working hours;

And it turns out he asked her to know what and where she was spending money so she no longer ordered food with them or stopped arranging nails and hair and it turns out he was angry at her for the weight she gained after giving birth so she refused to indulge in the cakes and cookies we would bring every Thursday. Excellent and even too thin.


And it turns out I needed to know.



Certainly when according to data from the Israel Police in 2020 and 2021, the Israel Police opened 65,910 cases on suspicion of domestic violence, compared to 58,146 cases opened in the two years before them - an increase of 13.5% and what to expect in the Corona era of closures and isolation.



I sent my employee to rebuild her life at the expense of several working days and in those days I did not stop thinking back.

Where I was wrong and especially how I was wrong.

I thought of all the signs I missed.

The lateness and humiliation of the eyes.

The excuses that she has a cold or is awkward or just does not feel well.

Decreased output, outbursts and then crying.

Mostly uncharacteristic behavior that due to time pressure, goals and customer requirements I did not pay enough attention to.



I think back and hit on sin.

As a firm manager, as a CEO it is my duty not only to lead to success and not just to see the success of the client, the summary presentations or the profit line of the firm. As a manager I also have a responsibility for my employees.

Shira Isakov (Photo: Screenshot, Instagram)

And in an age where NGOs report tens of percent of cases of domestic violence, in an age where the police report a significant increase in complaints, in an age where the ear has become accustomed to "another" case of violence against women and children - in an age like ours. As colleagues - keep an eye out.

Be sensitive.

Ask questions and take care of the well-being and security of our employees.



The day before my employee returned to work, I invited a social worker to my office.

I seated everyone, women and men, for a lecture on how to identify the warning signs of a victim of violence and all types of violence.

Sexually, financially, physically and emotionally.

It turns out that most of the workers encountered such cases but the majority did not know what to do.

How not to complicate the victim further, to whom to call, what to say or how.



I sat and listened and mostly promised myself no more.

I went through all the people I know.

I hissed in my head if there was anyone or anyone who matched the signs.

If there's another case I missed.

If there's another disaster that is just a moment away from exploding.



Today my worker is already outside the threatening house and inside a safe apartment.

No one can scream at her or break her house.

She now has her quiet place.


And I'm with my eyes open.

Reads books and studies and guides how to identify.

How to make sure a case like hers does not happen to me again.



These days a very large network is leading activities in the branches to raise awareness against domestic violence and gives me real inspiration to operate outside the walls of the office as well.

Because as that great society says, every person in Israel must be made aware of the essential information for identifying and understanding the disturbing phenomenon of domestic violence.

Information such as knowing the types of violence within the family (sexual, physical, financial, emotional), ways to identify who is suffering from domestic violence, help centers to contact and how to help or receive assistance in cases of domestic violence detection.



As someone who has been completely blind to the signs I am here to admit that I take responsibility.

As an employer, as a manager I have a responsibility to see and if not prevent - then at least help.

Guide the principals, talk to the employees, teach them and teach them the identification marks.

It is our responsibility to try to prevent the next disaster.


.

The name is stored in the system for the purpose of maintaining employee privacy

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Tags

  • Absent

  • Domestic violence

  • women

Source: walla

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