Flipping through a decorating magazine has been one of the classic forms of inspiration for decades, a source of ideas to incorporate into the home or simple visual pleasure.
We know that the houses that appear in these publications may not be real at all: the interiors are set up for the photo, there are often rooms made in collaboration with a brand… However, the interior photos shared by users on Instagram influence us in a different way. different way.
These houses, unlike those that appear in magazines, do belong to apparently ordinary people and comparison is inevitable.
According to the results of a 2018 Origin survey of 1,500 London homeowners, social media is useful for inspiration and decorating advice.
But they have a B side: more than half of those surveyed felt dissatisfied with their houses after seeing other people's houses on Instagram.
Of them, 83% felt this way once a month, always after having used the application.
One in ten had that feeling several times a day.
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"On social networks we expose our achievements, victories, best moments, and, therefore, the best version of what a home can be," explains psychologist Noemí López, from the Amparo Calandín Psychologists center, by email.
“We see something punctual, concrete and deliberate in the person's life.
The global situation is not taken into account or what could have happened 10 minutes ago or even after the publication.
This example can be extrapolated to the publications of houses, since visualizing a specific room, at a certain moment, does not make its state lasting over time, nor its order or its level of cleanliness static, ”says Calandín.
Although social media may have that element of inspiration, the constant exposure of this information takes us from inspiration to comparison.
Namely,
That apparent perfection of many of the interiors that appear on the social network translates into a certain guilt for not being able to have our house as tidy, clean or beautiful.
"People have the idea that it is a more common situation than it really is," reflects Rachel Hoffman, author of the book
Unfuck Your Habitat: You're Better Than Your Mess
(Get rid of your habitat: you are better than your disaster, in Spanish) that arose as a result of a blog in which he offered cleaning and domestic organization tips for people with more realistic life circumstances than those addressed by systems such as Marie Kondo's.
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“Most people don't live like that.
But what you see on social networks is so disproportionate that you begin to think that it is you who is doing something wrong.
It is a very harmful cycle,” says the author in a video call.
For Hoffman, who defends not sharing only the perfect, behind many of these publications there are also "many issues of class and money" that are not discussed.
As an example, she points to photos of pantries where everything is out of its original packaging, in matching, well-labeled containers.
“It's very visually appealing, but storage is extremely expensive.
Buying all that matching stuff is out of reach for a lot of people,” she notes.
The psychologist Aurora Gómez, from Corio Psicología, agrees: “I would love that, just as it is said that a publication has been sponsored, it would be said 'this person has basic privileges that you are not seeing'.
Most of the Spanish population lives in small apartments, with little light and poor insulation, as was evident during confinement.
Gómez admits that she follows a lot of decorating accounts, but she realizes that they are always big houses.
“Good layout, good lighting, lots of plants… But for plants, although it may not seem like it, you have to have time, money and light,” she says.
Social networks contribute to configuring “what an ideal home is”.
We compare ourselves not only to the best moments of others, but to the best moments of the houses of people with more money.
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Why do we feel guilty about our disorder?
There are studies, such as the internal documents that were leaked from Facebook, that conclude that Instagram is the most harmful social network for mental health.
Normally, the user of the social network does not think about what it means to see perfect bodies and faces or what causes him to see himself always with a filter in front of him, but the issue of home, beyond socioeconomic aspects, also generates guilt and discomfort.
Because perhaps having a large and bright house is not within everyone's reach, but keeping it clean and tidy seems like it should be.
Rachel Hoffman started working on
Unfuck Your Habitat
because she noticed that most home advice websites and books were unspokenly geared towards “people with very particular lifestyles, people who stay at home, with a traditional family,” he says.
Those systems ignore "people who still live at home with their parents or who have roommates or who work full time or work and study, or people with disabilities or chronic or mental illnesses."
Hence, her idea was to offer a broader and more inclusive resource.
“Cleaning and keeping a house clean, those are skills that can be learned and for which there are people who have obstacles.
Whether or not your house is a mess is not a reflection of who you are as a person,” says Hoffman.
An example of how cleanliness has been associated with a certain morality is how many times, when receiving someone at home, the host apologizes for not having it perfect.
“I think in general we have to stop apologizing for how we live.
Constantly doing so reinforces that unattainable standard to which we aspire and is harmful, ”he stresses.
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Aurora Gómez adds that mental health problems are very noticeable at home.
Depression or anxiety, she explains, have among their characteristics the limitation of energy, attention span and executive capacity.
“All this adds up and makes it more difficult to carry out household chores,” she clarifies.
On the other hand, the psychologist points out that there may be a seasonal component in how our homes are that is not seen on social networks either, such as times of more work or when there is less time or energy to take care of the home.
The conclusion is not that you have to stop cleaning or trying to have the house habitable, but that it is important to be aware of the circumstances and try to adapt to them and not to unattainable standards.
“First we have to get rid of the idea that having a clean house makes you a better person.
Having a clean house means having a clean house and that's it”, argues Rachel Hoffman.
“My goal is for people to say, 'Okay, if I'm 80% messy, I can take it to 70%.
That is already an improvement and from there I can move forward'.
However, seeing these almost magazine images we think 'if I don't get to this, it's not worth trying'.
For me, being able to say 'I can do something, it doesn't have to be everything' is very important.
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