In 2004 I lived in London, and when I turned on the TV, it kept broadcasting a weird show,
"Big Brother," where people I don't know lived together in a big house and ate, kissed in the hot tub, or quarreled with each other.
Their accent was too heavy for me to understand.
The day I returned to Israel, I turned on the TV and saw Ninet Tayeb win the "Star Born" final.
The first time I was offered to participate in a reality show was in 2007.
When my manager at the time informed me that they wanted me in the next season of "Dancing with the Stars", I realized that no matter how much money I would get out of it, there was no way I was giving my big brother the pleasure of seeing me dance a pseudobella dancing in a shimmering dress.
From then until today I say no, I do not go to reality.
I turn from here to all the uncles, to all the taxi drivers, to all the mothers from kindergarten - stop offering, I'm not coming.
True, it's good for a career, if it's a reality star's career, but I'm not going to be a successful reality star.
In all five launches I’ve attended in my life, an essential element of every reality star’s schedule, I stood to the side with my head on the phone, pretending to correspond with lots of friends when I was actually playing Farmville. She would notice me, she would have to drag me back to the photographers violently - if anyone was wondering why in the pictures I always look like a puppy they took to the vet.
Attached is a list of reality shows that I will by no means participate in:
"Survival": At 42, my ass is no longer an ideal candidate for close-up photography, so I'm afraid I don't have much to offer for production.
Besides, I do not get along with it being hot or with sleeping outside or with other humans.
"Substitute Mom": By and large this is a program where women judge other women for not having their house clean enough.
I actually liked the idea, until I found out that not only do I need to be replaced, but I also need to replace another mother, but children of others I will probably forget about the writer and go.
"Wedding at First Sight": Because I Do Not Believe in the Institutionalized Marriage Institution?
"Big Brother": To be successful in the program it takes a lot of joy of life, the bride and human warmth, words that the last time anyone used in the context of me was somewhere in the year never.
Also, after taxes, a prize of one million shekels is only enough for three years of psychological treatment, and if you happen to expect it, it is clearly not enough.
"Master Chef": In my iniquities, I have not yet acquired the skill to tell about my childhood, to cook and cry at the same time, and anyway the delicacies I bring with me from my mother's house are wet vegan schnitzel from the microwave.
"The Race for a Million": I'm less about running and jumping.
If I want to lose some weight, I just go to my parents for a week.
The last time I was offered to participate in reality was last year.
I was three days postpartum, and I was just about to take advantage of three free minutes to take a shower, when a foreign woman called to offer me to participate in a reality show, because she "misses me", because "you haven't been seen on screen in a long time and because" it's a great opportunity. , And instead of getting in the shower I wrote an angry tweet on Twitter.
The tweet, in which I wish her and all those involved in the craft all kinds of heartfelt wishes, went viral within 20 seconds and proved that Twitter and women after childbirth do not go well together (true, Corinne Gideon, not even Instagram).
It was an exaggerated response, of course, but at least since no cast has been calling.
Were we wrong?
Fixed!
If you found an error in the article, we'll be happy for you to share it with us
