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The daughter suddenly changed her personality and refused to go to school. The single mother realized that she was mainly because she took the initiative to ask for help to solve the dilemma.

2022-06-27T23:08:04.870Z


"We all like Anson Lo (Lu Hanting), and we will play together again, making complaints downstairs, haha." The mother and daughter who seem to be sisters are single mother Vian and her daughter. Daughter's junior high school sex


"We all like Anson Lo (Lu Hanting), and we will play together again, making complaints downstairs, haha." The mother and daughter who seem to be sisters are single mother Vian and her daughter.

Her daughter's personality changed drastically when she was in junior high school, and she resisted going to school, only to find out later that it was because she was worried about her emotionally troubled mother.

In order to love her daughter, Vian took the initiative to take the first step to ask for help. On the way, the two supported each other, slowly got out of the slump, and re-established a closer relationship than before.


Written by: The Boys and Girls' Clubs Association of Hong Kong School Social Work Service (Secondary)

Support everything in your home alone

In the interview, he poured out his own story, and it is hard to imagine that Vian was in serious emotional distress.

Vian described that since his daughter was born, he has been taking care of the child by himself, and his ex-husband is like a "nominal" father. The brothers lived together, and they had their own home until their daughter entered elementary school.

"Moving to a new house, I feel that I have to take care of my two children, because everything is decided by myself, and no one will teach you how to do it. When I was buried with you, Qu (ex-husband) started to take care of the house, even the family. No, my impression (a week) is only five or six hundred mosquitoes."

After that, they started to owe rent, and Vian began to borrow money from the people around him when they were struggling.

First family and friends, and later borrowing "big ears", she said that she "doesn't care about methods and channels, in short, you have to borrow money." Under the debt, Vian was forced to do part-time jobs, but unfortunately his income was completely insufficient. to repay the accumulated loan.

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long-term dependence on sleeping pills

After giving birth to her daughter, Vian has always had the habit of taking sleeping pills. Looking back now, she suspected that she was suffering from postpartum depression, but she didn't pay attention at the time.

"Well, I saw a doctor all the way, and none of the doctors said that I had depression, but it was just a cold, or maybe it was because of the small children that I had to take care of them and not enough sleep. They didn't think that it was a stress problem. How big."

When overwhelmed by the stress of life, Vian could only rely on sleeping pills to help her fall asleep. She described as "a situation of drug abuse" and she slept all day.

In addition to providing the most basic daily needs, Vian is completely indifferent to her daughter, and is unable to take care of the children whether it is physically or psychologically.

One day, Vian felt unwell at home, and called her aunt to accompany her to the hospital with her daughter.

Unexpectedly, Vian collapsed immediately after going downstairs and woke up in a hospital bed, suspected to be caused by overdose.

Daughter starts to resist going to school

The financial company began to collect debts from Vian, who was in debt. At that time, the two mothers and daughters were constantly being harassed. In the end, Vian could only file for bankruptcy.

She pointed out that the one or two-week "window period" between the application and the bankruptcy order was a very painful time.

"It's really hard, because I have to take a girl with me, and I don't dare to go out. In disguise, I'm not willing to go back to school. Anyway, I'll go to the edge of the river, even if I go back to school with him, change It's good to go back to school, but she doesn't want to go to the classroom."

In the end, with the help of Vian's mother and a bankruptcy order, the matter finally came to an end.

After that, Vian filed for divorce from her ex-husband and officially lived alone with her daughter.

However, her daughter's attitude of resisting going to school has become more and more serious, especially after entering Secondary One, she is absent almost every day in the first semester, which has attracted the attention of the school, social workers, and even the Education Bureau.

Reason for personality change

Seeing her daughter change from a lively and cheerful personality to taciturn, and often hiding at home and refusing to go to school, Vian was very worried about her situation, and then took the initiative to ask the school social worker for help.

The school social worker contacted and gradually established a relationship with her daughter. Through counseling and encouragement to participate in activities, her daughter gradually became more open to others. Only then did Vian realize that the reason why her daughter resisted going to school was because of herself.

"Qu and the social worker said: 'I can't leave Mommy alone in the house, Mommy will do stupid things.' Because I was taking sleeping pills at the time. I don't know if I will lower her after school. Won't show up again. He'll be so startled, so worried."

After learning the real reason, Vian admitted that her daughter became her driving force, which made her decide to stop taking sleeping pills, face up to her emotional problems, and start receiving treatment and counseling from psychiatrists and medical social workers.

"If I don't take this step, I and her (daughter) will be together in disguise to "fuck" together. I know the reason is because of me, so she will become like this first, and if I change, she will return to a normal My little friend, I think this step is very important.”

Parents should take care of themselves first

Ms. Huang, who is in charge of social work services for middle schools, said that in recent years, she has encountered many children who resisted going to school. Sometimes people only focus on the children's actions, but ignore the reasons behind them. Just like in Vian's case, the reason for her daughter's resistance to going to school is worry. Mother.

Taking care of children will face different pressures and easily affect emotions. Miss Huang said that when parents are emotionally troubled, they must learn to accept their emotions first. People lean in and push people to talk.”

After accepting the emotions, the next step is to "transcend the emotions". After digesting the pain in the past, transcend and transform it into the driving force for change, and try to find your ideal life or the meaning of life.

From Vian's experience, I saw her change little by little, and her daughter gradually received her love.

This love is enough to support each other through difficult times, and now they can live happily and safely.

Finally, Miss Huang encouraged parents to be kind and take good care of themselves.

"Parents must have their own time to eat with friends, walk the streets, watch movies, and do activities that they like. When parents can take care of themselves, they can take a step back and think about the problems of housing enterprises. When necessary, you can ask for professional help." More about the Boys' & Girls' Clubs Association of Hong Kong School Social Work Service

Female college students aim for bodybuilding competitions Single mothers don’t like them but still support the pursuit of dreams: I just want you to be happy Single mothers are under pressure to raise children Our rent management loopholes | The vacancy period is too long for single mothers who sign contracts for two months and are forced to live in fear. % of child caregivers had borrowed money from a single mother who could not let her daughter learn ice skating. Single mother was accused of abusing her children. She only served one meal a day and was not allowed to return to school.

Source: hk1

All news articles on 2022-06-27

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