"Something inside me was destroyed": The girl who was raped by a student from her school tells about the difficult year

Almost a year after she was raped by a student from her prestigious school, L. shares her experiences in an interview with 103.

From the decision to tell her mother about the case, the reactions at school, the police investigations - to the plea deal that was finally signed.

"He's going to be in jail for maybe two years, but I'm forever in this jail."

Walla!

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05/07/2022

Tuesday, 05 July 2022, 09:05 Updated: 09:42

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Last summer, a student at a prestigious school in Tel Aviv was suspected of sexually assaulting several female students.

Almost a year later, Golan Yokfaz and Anat Davidov spoke with student L., who testified that she was raped by the student, and with her mother.

For a whole year, L. did not tell anyone about the previous attack.

Finally, after a long time of concealment, she told her parents about the case and filed a complaint with the police.

"It feels to me like a taboo subject, an unspoken subject. Just two weeks before the complaint I told the parents. To understand that what happened was rape was a process of a year at all, until I was able to give it a label in my head, it took a long time. "More in my mind, it was clearer to me that I could not hold it alone for too long, it had to come out in some form."

The school in Tel Aviv where the suspect boy studied (Photo: Reuven Castro)

L. said that before she told her parents, she shared a pair of teachers from her school.

"They responded in the best way possible. They listened to me and were patient. With so much luck I fell for two teachers who had the sensitivity and patience to accept this story."

L. also said that the teachers' participation in the case was what helped her share the information with her parents.

This is because once a teacher is aware of a sexual assault a student has undergone, he or she must tell his or her parents about the case within 24 hours.

A week before she shared her teacher, L. said, another girl from the school who was also harmed by the same student approached her, told her her story, and told me that she was filing a complaint against him.

"She told me she knew I was in a relationship with him too and wanted to know if I had anything to say to her," L. said.

Following her remarks, the girl turned to Moriah and described the case.

L. said that at first she thought it was a sexual assault, but it was her teacher who helped her understand that she had been raped by the same student.

L. said that some time before the time of the complaint, the abusive boy started trying to contact her.

"He started talking to me, turning to me more, asking how I was. I don't know if he realized something had happened or he thought it was long enough and he could turn to me. One time he even put a hand on me, and I got mad at him. I told him he could never touch In me again. "

L. also shared the tense moments before deciding that she should confess to her mother about the difficult incident.

She said she accidentally shared her mother in a phone call, "I could not handle it. Once I knew I had 24 hours and that I could not see her before I told her, I had to do it as soon as possible. I know I did not go into details, I did not even tell. Everything is accurate, I had to convey the general idea to her. "

At this point, L.'s mother joined the conversation, telling how she responded to the news. "I remember I was mostly in the market, and all I wanted was for her to come home and understand how she was feeling," the mother said, A little disconnected. "

L. goes on to tell about the experience from her point of view.

"I went into the house and hugged her, I smiled at her. I didn't want to see her cry so much, so I said everything was fine."

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"I did not want to see her cry, so I said everything was fine" (Photo: Reuven Castro)

L. describes that a very difficult year has passed since the incident.

"I feel like something has been destroyed inside me, that something is so wrong, like I don't know myself anymore," she said.

She shared that at first she did not understand that she had been sexually abused, and convinced herself that she had gone through a normative experience for couples in a relationship.

L. said she began to understand the significance of the case during a school sanda on sexual violence.

"There was a slide on sexual violence in a relationship, and I realized that I identify with a lot of what was written there."

The girl also shared the support she received from a storyteller after sharing by chance.

"Once I came out with the story and had not yet filed a complaint, the same child was kicked out of school," she said.

However, L. was also insulted by a number of students who claimed she was lying about her assault, but said she soon surrounded herself with her, who strengthened their faith and supported her.

Later, the girl told about the complaint procedure with the police, and described it as a positive and strengthening event.

L. said that she was interrogated by sensitive researchers, who believed her words, and showed our suffering and sensitivity.

"I sit down with researcher Mel and tell her the same story again. You can't change what happened there, because it's true. And they really believed me and listened to me."

L. said that the abusive boy recently signed a plea agreement, and similarly admitted in the indictment against him.

"I was there with five other complainants in the others. I do not know if he understood the seriousness of his actions, I could not read his expression.

"I have a loss of innocence, in the past I relied more on the world", a demonstration in support of complainants in Tel Aviv (Photo: Walla !, Shani Frumkin)

The girl also said that it was important to her that the abusive boy be allowed a rehabilitation process, and that he not have a sexual assault again.

The girl said she understands that following the plea deal the boy will not be jailed for long, but that his announcement of rape, is the most important thing. "Eventually he will sit in jail for maybe two years at best, but I win with this jail. "The plea agreement, because he admitted. No one in life will be able to tell me that it did not happen," she said.

L.'s mother joined in and shared her personal insights from the experience.

"I have a loss of innocence, in the past I relied more on the world, and so I raised the girls, with the thought that a good world. I discovered there were things that could have needed more attention. Something in me kept saying something was wrong."

The mother also shared the self-criticism and frustration she experienced.

"It exists because I am a mother, it is part of being a parent. There is room for guilt and anger on my part, but also for very harsh criticism of his parents."

L. summed up her words and asked to convey a message to girls who are going through similar things.

"We do everything we can to take care of ourselves every day and it's not easy," she said. "So it's good to talk about it. Sharing is important, but we also need to be given the place to share, it feels like we have no place in the world to say what we think at the moment."

At the end of her remarks, L. emphasized: "Even if I agree to be in a relationship with a certain person, I do not agree to be raped."

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