By Marlene Lenthang —
NBC News
Most obituaries are emotional odes to a loved one, but a scathing obituary published in a Florida newspaper on Saturday describes the deceased as a "father to no one" whose death "proves that evil does have an end." .
Lawrence H. Pfaff Sr., 81, of Belmont, New York, died June 27.
He lived "a long life, much longer than he deserved," according to the obituary, published in The Florida Times-Union.
Writing it was a
process of healing
from his childhood trauma, his son, Lawrence Pfaff Jr., told NBC News.
Mexican actress Susana Dosamantes dies at 74
July 2, 202200:26
Pfaff Jr. described his father in the obituary as
"a womanizer" and an "abusive alcoholic,
" "solidifying his commitment to both [vices] on the path of destruction he left behind, harming his adult children and leaving them broken."
Pfaff Sr. is survived by 5 children, but according to the obituary, he could have fathered more.
“Her love for him was abundant when it came to himself, but for his children it was limited,”
he said, “it will be a challenge to miss Lawrence because he was a narcissist.
He was incapable of love.”
Pfaff Sr. spent more than 20 years working for the New York Police Department, according to the note.
Regarding his personal life, "he claimed to be clean and sober for more than 30 years, but he never worked any of the 12 steps, including the eighth and ninth with his children, amending", quote from the plan of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Lawrence Pfaff Jr. said he wrote the obituary a year before his father died in an effort to "close that part of my life." WTLV
His death "marks a time of healing, which will allow his children to obtain the closure they deserve," the obituary continued.
Pfaff Sr. "can be remembered as a father to many, and a father to none," the obituary concluded.
His son began writing the obituary a year before his father died.
"It was a difficult process that I came to about a year ago," he added, "I needed to get over some things."
Despite not having had contact with his father in 30 years, Pfaff Jr. explained, "I still needed closure on that part of my life."
So he started writing.
She researched obituaries and was inspired by some that had a funny and sarcastic tone.
Why is the giant African snail holding a Florida county in check so dangerous?
July 5, 202200:26
“I started rewriting my words so that I could communicate that without attacking him.
He was just telling the truth, which was all he needed to do.
Get my truth out,” he said.
He expected to receive backlash for his words, but was surprised when he received comments online thanking him for his outspokenness, with many readers sympathizing with his sentiments.
“I am totally surprised, I have to say that I was prepared for the reactions,” he said, “I received a call from a woman from San Agustín, who located me and thanked me for posting that because it helped her heal her life a little more. ”.
"I really had no idea what an impact it was going to have because it was really a healing process for me, this was my way of closing that chapter and moving on," she explained.
Pfaff said he never intended the obituary to get so much attention, but added, "If we can help someone else see that it's okay to stand up for yourself and tell the truth, there's really nothing bad that should come out of it."
An ice cream brand is linked to an outbreak of listeria in the United States
July 5, 202200:30
Gannett, the company that owns The Florida Times-Union, lamented however: "We published an obituary that did not meet our guidelines and we are investigating the matter further. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused," he told NBC News. Pfaff Jr. said he hasn't heard from Gannett.