After graduating from high school, and after careful planning that would not embarrass the preparations for Operation Entebbe, the baby traveled for a few days with friends, and especially without her parents, to Barcelona.
The first lady and I pretended to be sound and flowing parents who have no problem and trust the girl with their eyes closed, but as the travel time approached, the threshold of anxiety rose and we woke up sweaty at night with nightmarish dreams, as if she was going to fight Vietnam.
On the day of the flight, although it was possible to book a taxi, we found ourselves driving her to the airport and saying goodbye to her as if she was flying to seven-year medical school at Harvard.
Although the girl's legal is an adult in every way, and in a few months she will put on a uniform and enlist in the army, this is her first flight without us.
And since this is a spoiled creature that we are used to taking care of for everything, I decided despite the hassle to send her some tips and facts that might shake her world.
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My dear daughter, I wish you a wonderful vacation, but keep in mind that we are not in the area and not even on the same continent.
Unlike previous trips, this time you will actually have to actively act on your own for things to happen.
I'm sorry to tell you that the suitcase, for example, does not make its way from the taxi to the belly of the plane itself, it does not have a Wise and an engine, so it has to be driven and loaded on the conveyor belt even though it may be heavy, and there is also weight limit.
So it might have been better not to move all the contents of your wardrobe, including coats that won’t be really necessary in July, to a suitcase, and maybe even to give up a hair styling device, five swimsuits and seven pairs of shoes.
Even if you put the suitcase in the right place, it does not really mean that you will meet it after landing, and it is possible that instead of Barcelona she will somehow arrive in Australia, so maybe it's good to pack a coat because it will be cold in the winter.
Even if after landing you find that the suitcase is lost, it's not the end of the world (the end of the world is where the suitcase is now), think that without your intention they helped you finally get rid of some items of clothing that might have been superfluous when you bought them.
During the flight, you are offered duty-free products, but unlike traveling with your parents, where you are used to pointing to products and they pass you by, this time you will actually have to take out the ticket and pay.
Believe it or not, the cart on which the luggage is placed in the field also costs money, and there are even stingy people, like me, who make sure to put it back in place after use to save half a euro.
When you arrive in Barcelona you will be asked to go through a passport control.
There is a slim chance that you will be asked what the purpose of the visit is.
As you and your friends seem, there is no point in answering "work", assuming you are even familiar with that word;
Instagram photos are not work and the answer "a trip before the army" is unnecessary and may only raise unwanted connotations of weapons in the official.
To the question of where you sleep it is not acceptable to answer "in bed".
The answer "in the hotel" is not enough either, they will want an exact name.
If these are forms that need to be filled out in English, do not call me, I suggest you call an English teacher with whom you have an excellent relationship, and if you do not understand something you can come to her with complaints.
I'm happy when you call, but the fact that you purchased a surfing package does not mean that you should call me every five minutes.
I look at your Instagram anyway and know from history exactly where you are at any given moment.
In a taxi to the hotel, you should pay attention to the road, and not be like traveling with us with your face inside the mobile, which looks just like in Israel.
Although I do not remember that you studied geography and were never asked to fill in a silent map of Europe, remember that there is no point in traveling to Barcelona via Madrid, and if you see a particular building or large statue appearing repeatedly during the trip, it does not mean the city is monotonous. He's been dealing with suckers here and has been driving around the same square with the pulse counter for half an hour.
As Israelis with anxiety about travel warnings, we have a tendency to try to identify the driver's origin according to his accent, as well as assess how dangerous he is and the chance that you will end the day in the basement of a mosque.
Asking him if he is Iranian or if he has Nasrallah on his contact list may be problematic.
So it may be time for a sort of "shazam" of accents, which will identify the driver's origin.
His Hebrew version will be called the late, and it will actually announce while traveling if you are on your way to being late.
When you arrive at the hotel, remember that unlike what you are used to, this time you will not be able to immediately walk into the room and complain that it is smaller / uglier / smelly than the smoking cage at Ben Gurion Airport. .
I know that before leaving you are used to telling us "take me" and it is done immediately, but do not try it on the receptionist.
You have to order a taxi or take a bus abroad. It is sometimes difficult to understand the method of paying for buses abroad, but presenting an Egged multi-line will not help.
Breakfast at the hotel is served in the morning, and it is important to say that 12 o'clock is not morning.
I suggest having the discussions about what to do today the night before, because from experience, when you start talking about it at 12 you are usually left with the option of going to another mall, and you do it great in the country.
I would of course be happy if you did not drink alcohol, but if you decide to drink - do not pour the rest of the vodka on the bed in the hotel, it does not take good pictures or bring us respect in the world.
Although your grandparents came from different backgrounds, and the so-called mixed, do not try to explain to the Spaniards that you are also a bit Spanish, because once you start speaking the Spanish you learned from Maluma's songs and series from the Viva channel, they will surpass you.
The term familiar to you from the Israeli junk food world, "double Spanish", is not an international term, it does not represent the culinary and culture of the Spanish people, and if they hear that we used their name to describe a quick hamburger with added onions, they may summon our ambassador for a conversation. reprimand.
As in many cities in Europe, Barcelona also has thieves, pickpockets and scammers, and they are literally building on your wallet.
It is advisable to put the cash and passport in a hotel safe, but in this case you should remember the password.
It's true that I'm the only one who knows all your passwords on Gmail and Instagram, but I have no idea about the number you type in the safe.
One of the favorite traps abroad is cool card games on the street. A charismatic guy with a stupid look will shuffle cards and try to make you and a few other Israelis, who are sure to be smarter than everyone else, think they know where the joker went and invest ten euros in it. , Including the one who "managed" to win, is not of occasional tourists, but his friends who share in the spoils they will take from you and your friends.
I know this may come as a surprise, but restaurants also have a moment like this at the end of the meal where you have to pay.
The local waiters are also expecting a tip.
Everywhere in the world the customs and expectations are different, and it is worth consulting with the locals - but not with those who play card games on the street - about the local customs.
You should be generous with the tips, especially if you have a tendency to forget your mobile in the restaurant, but also not too generous.
There is no need to tip the lifeguard at the pool or anyone who makes omelets in the dining room.
I know you have never attached too much importance to the world of mathematics, but you should know that the ratio between the euro and the shekel is not one to one, and if you meant to give a tip of ten shekels, it is not ten euros.
***
Good time.
Although there are three days left for your return, we are already in the field, waiting for you in the car.
yairn@israelhayom.co.il
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