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Undertaker Diestel with urn: »You can talk about death easily, it is part of life«
Photo: Julia Gais Lemmer
The start of working life is exciting, exhausting - and often completely different than planned. In the series "My first year on the job", young professionals tell how they experienced this time. This time: Luise Diestel, 25, undertaker in Kitzingen near Würzburg.
“When I was 21, a good friend's father died.
It was my first funeral, a forest burial, the wind rustled the leaves.
At my girlfriend's request I sang a song, I remember that I had my eyes closed the whole time - I would have burst into tears if I had looked her in the face.
It was a terrifying and difficult moment, but also somehow beautiful, so impressive, so comforting.
I was studying psychology at the time, but I knew I didn't want to become a psychotherapist, nor did I want to do research.
I wanted to make something that is social and artisan at the same time.
So I tried out different areas during my studies and also did an internship at a funeral home – and that worked out.
After graduating, I began training as a funeral director, which I completed last year.
Since then I have been employed in my training company.
I get a gross starting salary of 2800 euros.
When I tell strangers about my job, they are often overwhelmed at first.
Many have the impulse: As soon as they hear about dying and death, they must be affected, then they must be careful what they say.
But once that initial inhibition is overcome, we all have a certain morbid curiosity, and that's okay.
We are not always sad and affected at work, but like in any other job, we are in a good mood, joking among colleagues.
One can easily talk about death.
I think it's part of life, and unless you're grieving yourself, it doesn't have to be a sad subject.
When I recently told a school class about my everyday work, the children naturally thought it was funny that corpses fart sometimes because they no longer have control over their sphincters.
reverence for the dead
Even so, I was afraid of contact at first.
Part of the job is that we pick up the deceased, wash them, dress them and prepare them so that relatives can say goodbye to them.
At first I was afraid that I might hurt the deceased while dressing them.
I still see the person behind it.
There are colleagues who distance themselves from this and concentrate very much on their work in order to protect themselves.
But I definitely want to maintain that reverence.
My job is particularly difficult when it's stressful.
People don't die regularly and distribute themselves according to working hours.
And then I sometimes come out of the third funeral talk in one day and I don't even remember what I discussed with whom.
Bereavement talks make up the largest part of my work alongside organizing the burials.
The people who come to us are in an absolutely emotional state of emergency, but are supposed to make decisions that overwhelm many.
Cremation or burial?
A coffin made of spruce, pine or mahogany?
In principle, the relatives sign a huge purchase contract in this state - a burial costs an average of 3000 to 4000 euros.
Be an anchor for family members
You experience the whole range of deaths: older people with illnesses, but also younger people after accidents, suicides.
Once there was a deceased, not much older than me, who had just had her second child.
She had had poisoning during pregnancy and died unexpectedly three months after giving birth.
The whole family was sitting here: her parents, her sister, her boyfriend with the baby in his arms.
I really had to pull myself together.
I managed that in conversation, but at home I had to let it out.
You have to be an anchor for your loved ones and radiate stability.
But being touched is allowed.
You are still a human being with empathy.
Normally we don't let death get to us.
Death is a taboo subject.
But through my job, I consciously deal with it.
I see every day that life is finite - of course I don't expect to die tomorrow, because I would be completely unable to act.
But I'm already thinking about how I want to shape my life.
Who I want to surround myself with, what my priorities are.
For example, sustainability is very important to me.
Cremation uses a lot of energy.
I would like to work to ensure that the legal conditions for more sustainable alternatives are created.
There is a new method called terramation that essentially composts the human body.
This is already allowed in some US states.
I would like to explain more about this and also contribute to a new funeral culture in Germany.«
Have you just started your career yourself and would like to tell us about it? Then write to us at SPIEGEL-Start@spiegel.de.
