Dubious parenting method: "Submarine parents harm their children more than helicopter parents"

Created: 07/26/2022, 15:23

By: Jana Stäbener

Submarine parents harm their children more than helicopter parents.

© Westend61/IMAGO/Irina Hess

"Submarine parents" can interfere with their children's success in life.

We explain what is behind the educational method.

Upbringing methods are probably as diverse as there are parents on this earth.

Nevertheless, psychologists and educators like to use figurative language to describe common "parent types".

For this, as Buzzfeed.de writes, they use technical devices or vehicles, such as the term "helicopter parents" - everyone knows this word.

It doesn't taste good.

It was not for nothing that Twitter users made fun of Christine Lambrecht transporting her son on the government plane and called her a prime example of a helicopter mother.

Helicopter parents are always buzzing around their child, overloading them with attention and care.

Still better than what "submarine parents" do, according to a school law expert.

"Submarine parents harm their children more than helicopter parents"

The school lawyer Thomas Böhm explains to

why "submarine parents" are so problematic - especially in relation to the education and career of their own children.

As can be guessed from the terms "helicopter" and "submarine", "helicopter parents" and "submarine parents" could not be more different.

"Submarine parents harm their children more than helicopter parents," the expert

.

On the contrary: The children of helicopter parents are more successful than others, say researchers from the USA.

Because while helicopter parents buzz around the children intensively and that can also be annoying for teachers, they at least have a serious interest in their children's success, according to Böhm in an interview with

U-boat parents, on the other hand, “don't show up, don't go to parent-teacher conferences, don't talk to the teachers – they only bring out the heavy artillery when a transfer is threatened”.

They ignore and turn off their children, which pediatrician Voigt calls a major parenting mistake.

This would harm the children even more, because the parents stay under the water surface until their offspring gets into situations from which they can no longer get out without help.

But instead of taking action, U-Boot parents often expected teachers to solve the problem.

"This attitude cannot work," Böhm warns in an interview with

.

What exactly are submarine parents and why are they a problem, especially for teachers?

© Westend61/IMAGO/Katharina Mikhrin

Parenting method "submarine parents" is out - how about attachment-oriented parenting?

So the submarine is out as a parental educational vehicle.

The helicopter doesn't look too good either - except for Anton Hofreiter, who is celebrated because he takes his little son to the Bundestag session.

But that's a bonus for men and politicians, users on Twitter suspect.

But which method of upbringing should it be?

in 2021 about her new guide, the "Family Compass"

, thinks it's best not at all .

She has a deep conviction that parenting does not mean using certain methods to raise children to be sensible adults.

With her own four children, Imlau relies on “close parenting” (also known as attachment-oriented upbringing).

This approach is more individual and, according to the

platform, focuses on the needs of all family members.

He does not rely on perfectionism and does not necessarily try to set limits for children, but rather to formulate his own limits.

Communication at eye level is the focus here, says educator Eliane Retz on

about the bond-oriented upbringing.

This change of perspective should also eliminate the position from above (helicopter) and from below (submarine).

Although this method of upbringing is more strenuous, it certainly has advantages for the children, since it creates a good basis of trust for puberty and children brought up in an education-oriented manner are demonstrably more solution-oriented, continue to develop language and are more empathetic.

However, empathy also has negative sides and can increase racism and sexism.