Sex education in Spain: pending subject

"Jealousy means that you care about someone," says a 2nd year ESO student at the IES Valle de Aller, in Asturias.

Throughout the school year that has just ended, many Wednesdays the class became an agora, like the day of this visit.

"But to have a relationship you have to trust that person," adds another teenager.

25 kilometers away, at the IES Santa Bárbara, a 4th year ESO class discusses the limits of pleasure after watching a video in which a boy and a girl play a word puzzle.

With the A: hugs.

With the B: kisses.

With the C: hickeys.

"That's like no, that I don't like them," she says.

“Hey, what were you waiting for to tell me?” he replies.

Having a sex education class after Mathematics, Language or any other subject is not, however, something common in Spain.

The normal thing is that of Ana and Daniel (both 17 years old), who attend a public institute in Madrid.

She has not received a talk about sexuality in her entire formative stage.

He had a bit more luck: his teacher booked a biology class last year to talk about birth control and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

"Forty minutes in which they didn't even talk to us about the female condom," says Daniel in a conversation in the Retiro park, which revolves around this gap in the educational curriculum.

“Look around you,” Eric tells Otis on his first day of high school on

—a British series that advocates incorporating this subject into school—, “everyone is thinking about fucking, about to fuck, or fucking.” .

In the era of social networks, sex is increasingly a social capital, a status symbol, especially among young people, whose first time occurs on average at 16.2 years of age, according to the

2020

. four years, that first contact was given at 17. "And for many, at 16 you're already late," says Ana at the Retiro.

"If you haven't done certain things, you feel undervalued, you need to fit in," adds Daniel.

We live in a hypersexualized society, according to the sexologist María Lameiras: "From advertising to the media and new technologies are permeated by the value of sex as something useful that increases the power of people and of young people in particular."

Sexuality —which encompasses the self, self-knowledge and self-esteem as well as relationships and sexual diversity— is reduced almost exclusively to sex.

The rest of the elements that compose it remain in the background and risk behaviors, such as the use of condoms or practices without consent, are on the rise.

The solution, explain international authorities such as UNESCO, goes through a comprehensive sexual education program with a gender perspective.

But in Spain, schools and homes are reluctant to break the taboo of sex.

In the classroom the fear of the reaction of the families is felt.

And at home there are those who do not agree, but also those who do not know how to deal with it.

María Rodríguez is a sexologist and gives workshops to families: "Adults don't know how much information to give because they haven't received it either."

There is a second

: teenagers often don't want to talk about these issues over dinner.

“The important thing is that they know you are there.

If everything goes well, they don't even call you.

But if something goes wrong, you are a reference”, recommends Rodríguez.

The feminist and LGTBI movements have raised the awareness of many young people.

But the reality is harsh: gender-based violence has increased among those under 18, the age group where abuse has increased the most, according to INE data from 2021. And the average age of men involved in gang rape is 25 years old.

Condom use among young people has decreased and STDs have increased, details the latest

.

And self-esteem is a downward value: during the pandemic, eating disorders shot up 20% among young people.

A dangerous cocktail that destroys physical and mental health.

Ana.Daniel de Jorge

Christian.Daniel de Jorge

Daniel.Daniel de Jorge

Ana.Daniel de Jorge

Irene.

daniel de george

Iyán.Daniel de Jorge

The gaps left by families and institutions in sexual education amplify other voices like an echo, transmitted through "social networks, audiovisual platforms and, above all, pornography," Rodríguez lists.

Seven in 10 teens watch porn, which they start watching by the time they're 12, according

to Save The Children 's 2020 study

And for 30%, pornography is the only source of information.

Next to the internet, friends are the main school, but often these are a link to a meme, a video or a

to a porn page.

A walk through the platform Pornhub —one of the most visited in the world, which at the end of 2020 had to withdraw more than half of its content after being accused of including videos of child rape, among other abuses— is enough to distinguish the type of content that goes viral.

In this fiction coital, violent and misogynistic sex predominates.

And it is in adolescence where habits are generated, warns the sexologist specialized in addiction to pornography Alejandro Villena: "Adolescents internalize and imitate models that are normally demeaning towards women."

The sexologist María Lameiras adds her vision: "This lack of education in schools, in families or in communities does not mean that young people are ignorant, but that they are being informed with a totally distorted vision of sexuality" .

Although it is obvious that on the internet you can find everything, also friendly approaches.

María Esclapez, author of

myself, I love you (Bruguera, 2022), publishes content on self-esteem and affection online.

She started 10 years ago, when she realized that most people reproduce preconceived ideas.

Today she observes that “there are young people who are very familiar with topics such as romantic love or

.

But also more and more young people maintain abusive relationships with their partners.

The networks —although neither angel nor devil— facilitate the control of the other: “Be aware of her last WhatsApp connection or her Instagram

, see her location and from there go to her friend's profile to see if she has uploaded something else … It is a very insane use.”

Isa Duque —alias

is a psychologist and sexologist and has been a cyberactivist since 2015. In part, due to the lack of references on the internet when she started;

to a great extent, due to “the great decrease in comprehensive and quality sexual education workshops in Spain”.

She is surprised that teenagers keep asking her if there is a risk of pregnancy even when there has been no contact between the penis and the vagina.

But new concerns have also arisen linked to the stereotypes spread by the aesthetic and pornography industry: "They feel that their penis is not big enough to satisfy their partner, and people with vulvas ask me about labiaplasties, self-conscious about their vulvas”.

Adolescence, like society, is riddled with pressures and double standards around sexuality.

But young people, more impulsive and emotional, are especially vulnerable to risky behavior.

How to fight with the cascade of videos that exalt operated, highly retouched or unhealthy bodies?

Or the control over the partner so accessible at the click of a button?

Or the myth that orgasm is the culmination of every sexual encounter?

According to Rodríguez, this information will reach them: "The point is to have tools so that, when they get soaked, they have an umbrella."

The solution is not to invent a magic formula.

It has had a name and surname for years: quality comprehensive sex education with a gender perspective.

There is no risk of promiscuity as prejudice vociferates.

A world study carried out in 2015 by UNESCO in which 22 sexual education programs are analyzed concludes that those that address gender and power relations are five times more effective in reducing pregnancies and diseases.

In addition to delaying the age of the first time, these programs reduce the risk of being an abuser "in the case of boys" and of "suffering [gender violence] girls", according to the study

, carried out in 2020 by the Ministry of Equality.

Last May, the Council of Ministers approved the incorporation of a compulsory sexual education subject in primary and secondary schools under the Law on Sexual and Reproductive Health and the Voluntary Interruption of Pregnancy.

The content, which will vary depending on the course, includes topics such as consent or menstrual education.

In the participatory process developed over a year, one of the clearest demands, points out Antonia Morillas, director of the Women's Institute, is "the need for sexual education that allows violence to be prevented and sexuality to be freely decided". and healthy”.

Ultimately, it will be the Congress that decides whether to approve this bill.

Otherwise, the antidote against gender violence that experts have been recommending for years will continue to be parked on a couch.

At the moment, sex education in Spain is a

.

It is the Departments of Education of the autonomous communities and the educational centers themselves who decide if this content crosses the threshold of the class.

When they exist, the talks are reduced to a couple of hours on one or two aspects within the wide range of sexuality, given by a nurse who will not appear again or a professor who is not very enlightened on the subject.

Hopefully, something will drop on diversity.

Usually, diseases and contraceptives are named.

It is a fear-based approach that the UN warns against, which shuns "preventionist and anatomical" angles.

In adolescence there is a need to explore the unknown and the forbidden, according to Lameiras: “It is counterproductive to talk about the dangers without fully addressing sexuality, with its pleasures, because when you say: 'Be careful',

Instead, normalizing sexuality with its lights and shadows changes attitudes.

In Asturias, 60% of all public secondary schools implement the

(NONP) program, recognized in 2021 by the European Commission as the best practice in sex education for adolescents.

The schools undertake to provide a minimum of 30 hours of sexual education between tutorials and external workshops.

It started in 2009 and its impact has already been evaluated: more knowledge and skills, delay in the age of the first time, and greater condom use the first and last time.

2nd year ESO students at IES Valle de Aller discuss jealousy in a sex education class.

daniel de george

A screen projects a video about pleasure to a group of 4th ESO students at the IES Santa Bárbara de Langreo. Daniel de Jorge

At IES Santa Bárbara, in the Asturian valley of Langreo, today it's time to talk about pleasure.

According to Professor Bárbara García, the aseptic approach does not help a young person to put on a condom when the time comes: “We know the theory.

But what do I do if my boy or girl does not want to use protection?

She guides the questions in class both in relation to the couple and to friendship and family: what do you do when a friend proposes something, but you don't want to?

"Maybe someone is not thinking about boyfriends yet, and that way you empathize," she explains.

One of her students, Irene (16 years old), was especially marked by the description of the steps of gender violence: “Toxic relationships are widespread and at first you don't realize it.

I had a relationship like that.

When I saw certain behaviors, I cut.

She shares with her family many of the videos they teach her in the classroom.

This jump from the classroom to home is repeated in her partner Christian (16 years old), who speaks with less suspicion about sexual diversity with her family: "My mother has not gone to any feminist march with me, but she came to a chat.

In the end, you open up a little."

In one of the first classes that the students who had just finished their 2nd year of ESO at the IES Valle de Aller had, they brainstormed ideas: what is sexuality?

At first there were only four words drawn.

But little by little the ideas began to sprout, say Ana and Iyán (14 years old): "Until the entire blackboard was filled."

Now in the talks they don't cut.

They talk about what they want, there is not so much hesitation.

Sexuality is named and the taboo is broken.

The teacher hands Ana, Iyán and their classmates some red and green cards that they have to hold up depending on whether they consider the statements to be true or myth.

"Love overcomes any obstacle."

Red.

"Loving someone means committing to take care of them."

Green.

"The intensity of the beginning should last a lifetime."

Red and green.

There are those who consider that it should always be this way and those who are blunt: "If the feeling ends, you have to cut it".

The teacher clarifies: “Perhaps the feeling remains, but it can change.

The important thing is to talk about it."

Some students still disagree, but will go home having heard other opinions.

The young people interviewed in Asturias are, to a certain extent, privileged and even so they consider that not enough time is devoted to this content and that there are topics that are treated superficially, specifically sex.

José García-Vázquez, co-creator and coordinator of

agrees: “There are aspects that are addressed later than what they demand and need.

For example, how to put on a condom, which is done in the 3rd year of ESO, or the issue of diversity.

It is complicated because you have to transmit a lot of security to the teachers so that they work without fear of the reaction of the families”.

Again that prejudice that paralyzes.

And that leads to a lack of resources: as it is not a compulsory subject, although the teachers commit to 30 hours, "in the tutorials other subjects compete and they do not always reach that minimum".

When Manuel (16 years old) and Pedro (15), from the CPB Cabañaquinta, say that, instead of being Asturian, they are taking a voluntary subject on sexuality, their surroundings do not believe: "They have even asked us if we watched porn in class."

Pedro laughs: "It's that seeing it from the inside you realize that it has nothing to do with it."

His school has gone a step further in the

program : two hours a week in 3rd and 4th of ESO.

Since 2019, 10% of Asturian secondary schools offer this option.

While the mantra "the basis of everything is education" reverberates in every corner, silence reigns in most of Spain on a matter that affects all young people.

Risky behaviors are on the rise, studies show over and over again that comprehensive sex education is the solution, and experts are desperate.

“People get sick, we know what the product is and we still don't use it.

What society can be so foolish?

One that continues to consider sexuality to be taboo”, exclaims the sexologist Lameiras, and her cry channels the discomfort of many adolescents, sexologists and educators.

Perhaps the first step is to normalize that having sex education classes can be normal.

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