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Divorcing a Narcissist: Seven Sections of Hell
Life with them is difficult and divorce is impossible and it is still better to break up with them and not stay together.
The great luck is that even the worst can be prepared
In collaboration with attorney Dror Inbar
07/08/2022
07/08/2022
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Divorce from a narcissist is a battlefield and you must prepare yourself for a long journey (Photo: ShutterStock)
you got married
He looked good and the way he looked and courted even made his friends jealous.
Later you discovered that this stage is called "Love Bombing", and its purpose is to deepen your dependence on him and make you believe that no one will ever love you like that.
But somewhere, in the beginning moments, you believed that it was a love story and you didn't know that you were entering into a relationship with a person with a narcissistic personality disorder.
The narcissistic swamp king
does not know that he is one and even his relatives take time to find out what it is about.
The successful, attractive and normative appearance, alongside contradictory messages and gaslighting - twisting reality in a way that makes you doubt yourself - confuses and makes it very difficult to understand that you are living alongside a narcissist.
In the narcissist's inner perception you are only there to glorify him.
Therefore, over time, criticism will replace the compliments from the beginning of the relationship.
At the beginning on marginal things, later on the comments will escalate and the demands from you will be firm.
You will be punished with long silences, financial sanctions and even withholding contact and marital relations.
Throughout the relationship you will not experience empathy or reciprocity.
The narcissist will never take responsibility and the blame will always fall on you.
He will react with rage at small things and in his inner perception you are only there to glorify him.
The narcissist can be a man or a woman, a son or a partner, a father or a mother.
In all cases, living with him is a difficult experience of mental and emotional abuse, in which your self-worth will be eroded.
Inbar Dror (Photo: Public Relations)
flying monkeys
Divorce from a narcissist is a battlefield and you must prepare yourself for a long journey where every means will be used to weaken you and hurt you.
Almost always with the decision to divorce, the narcissist will offer to end the relationship nicely and without lawyers, but while you will indeed stand by the decision, he will consult with professionals, show documents and money and you will not know.
At the same time, he will drag out the negotiation stage further and further, offer you agreements, and after you agree, he will add demands and change the terms.
When you choose a lawyer, he will try to make you think that the lawyer you have chosen is not in your best interest.
He will send you "Flying Monkeys", a term that refers to various people, some even close to you, who believe in the narcissist's false image and work in his favor.
You will receive severe threats;
That you will not be left with money, that the children will be taken from you, that your parents will hurt you.
In most cases these are idle threats, but the narcissist will push all the buttons and touch all the points that undermine you.
You will have to hear harsh curses,
To deal with falsification of evidence and sometimes with the involvement of the authorities following false complaints.
And yes, often they will also use children.
Arriving prepared
in a divorce from a narcissist one thing is known in advance - it will be difficult.
From this starting point you can prepare and protect yourself.
Even before expressing the desire to divorce, you should start documenting behaviors, statements, lies and everything that can support you during the legal process.
Take a photo and make a copy of every important and relevant document.
Try to prepare financially as well and if possible open a separate bank account that will only be yours.
In the dynamic with them you will have to change your attitude, even if it is not easy to do so, set boundaries and deal with them in a matter-of-fact and brief manner.
Do not share your information or plans.
Remember that anything you say or write can be used against you.
One of the most important things you can do is to surround yourself with support and within it professionals, such as psychologists and lawyers, who specialize in the field and can guide you correctly.
There is no doubt that you will need a long breath, but it is important that you know that even the longest wars end, and you will get to go free, rebuild yourself and be you.
Dror Inbar Family Law and Personal Status
Attorney's Office .
Specializes in getting women out of the cycle of mental violence in relationships.
Phone
: 058-488-2882
Sheee
sex and relationship
Tags
divorce
a relationship