Screenshot (photo: Instagram)

Coincidence?

A sign from the universe?

This is how the subconscious will find you love

Do you know that you interpret random hearts that come your way as a sign that your love is close?

We absolutely do.

Why is it so important for us to receive "messages" from the universe, and can the universe, or our subconscious, really help us find love

Anat Nissani

12/08/2022

12/08/2022

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I took the photo of the heart on the windowsill something like eight years ago.

It was only a few weeks after I opened Instagram, and out of enthusiasm I didn't stop taking pictures full of "meaning" as if I were at least a young Annie Leibovitz.

But the image of this heart—a piece of candy left on the windowsill after a party—really had a certain meaning to me.

I was then 34 years old, single, yearning for love and for any sign that would show me that I was on the right path to it.

Let me confirm that for four years now I haven't been able to create a relationship that lasts more than a month, it's not because something in me is screwed up for good and I'm going to stay single forever, but it's just a period.

Although long, but only temporarily.

This heart on the windowsill, which suddenly caught my attention, was for me the universe in its own right handed to me: a little more patience, love will come very soon.

I recently remembered this image when I came across a sweet Instagram page called instosh-heart, which is all about pictures of hearts that surround us: graffiti of hearts, heart-shaped leaves, business logos, works of art and more.

The person who manages the page and surrounds herself with hearts all year round and not only at Tu Bab, is Rotem Michaeli, 32 years old from Tel Aviv. She started Instagram a year ago, and since then she uploads countless photos and uses the various images to upload content related to the heart and love. Around Her page has really created a small community that shares thoughts and feelings, and of course sees hearts everywhere.

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I don't know what it's like in the world of single men, but during my single life (yes, love finally came, tapu Hamsa, although only after two more years, but who am I to belittle the universe for what it defines as "soon") I didn't have a single girlfriend who didn't spoke in this language, of receiving messages from the universe.

That's how it is, when you really want something and it doesn't happen, every candy that is randomly forgotten on a windowsill is a sign, and every coincidence is a revelation of fate.

It's not that I'm cynical about it, well sometimes I am a little.

On the one hand, I really believe that the universe gives us signs.

I see them all the time.

On the other hand, I am aware that I am the one who gives them meaning, and that it is probably not God who reveals himself to me.

We all do it, and not just in the context of a relationship.

Maybe to feel that everything is intentional and there are no coincidences here, maybe to gain some sense of control, that we are really on the right path, maybe to feel that we are being watched over, and she will make sure that in the end we still have the happy ending.

Although Tu Bab causes hearts to become mainly a symbol of commercialization and exaggeration, we all deserve to feel that love exists in our lives, or at least intends to come soon. Therefore, I decided to find out if surrounding ourselves with hearts can really help in finding love.

In Rotem's case, seeing hearts in everything This place is probably an innate ability, but if you are also into it - it turns out that it can be easily trained. "I have always photographed hearts.

I recognize them from miles away and already know where all the hearts in the city are.

And it's very contagious.

I keep getting messages like: "Yo, you don't know what you did to me, all day I see hearts".

I wanted to infect people with it."

"I perceive it as "pass it on" - come on, I'll infect you with this ability, what do you care. I believe that exposure to positive content is something that does good, it develops optimism and motivation and the more you pay attention to the visual hearts outside, it increases the Your attention - to people, to the environment, to your own heart. It's good for the heart, because it's really a place that spreads innocence and love. I think we're all very afraid of being hurt, and in general, opening up and being exposed is one of the scariest things. But I actually encourage you to go with your heart open and ready To experience love and give love."

Keeping the heart open and bringing awareness to the conversation about the heart and love are important parts of the process one must go through in order to find love.

But as a single woman, Rotem also identifies with the part of treating random encounters with hearts as a "sign", and dressing them with the consciously desired meaning.

"I just wrote about it not long ago. About putting meaning in things to make us feel, to give myself some hope. Here I saw this heart so it means that tomorrow maybe I will meet the guy who is waiting for me."

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In a certain place, this is also a big part of the reason she surrounds herself with them.

"They say that if you want something, you have to put your energy there," she says, "Clearly there is a place in me that says if I surround myself with hearts, the love in my life will expand and grow, because like attracts like. The more you are connected to love, the more and more you will be drawn to it. Love".

But with all due respect to Tu Bab, the love that Rotem is talking about is not only within the framework of a marital relationship.

I did psychological therapy and spiritual things, I would go to lectures and read a lot, trying to understand what is happening there to our hearts.

As part of one of the treatments I did, I realized that love does not depend on a romantic relationship.

Love is in everything.

And this was a discovery for me.

Up to that point I thought that if I don't have a relationship - I don't have love.

That is not true at all.

There is no connection between love and a relationship.

I am talking first of all about love within yourself, in your life, and not as a dependence on something external, because love will not come from the outside.

It starts and ends with you.

But if you do love yourself and maintain some kind of dialogue with your heart, you will of course be able to maintain it in a relationship as well.

I once asked friends and followers how they define Instagram and my friend said something beautiful and also quite accurate: everywhere there is a heart waiting to be seen.

So I say yes, pay attention to the heart.

After I fell in love with Rotem, her attitude and her hearts, I decided it was time to examine the issue from a professional point of view.

With all the talk about messages from the universe and attracting and summoning love, one might think that this is something spiritual, but the truth is that it is first of all physiological.

"Studies show that our brain, our subconscious mind, takes in between 10 and 40 billion items of information every second. This is a huge amount of information, of which less than a percent reaches our conscious mind," says Eilat Lebanon, a senior coach with a holistic approach and CEO of Logos - School for training and development. "Why does the conscious get exactly what it gets?

We have an area in the brainstem called the RAS, whose job, among other things, is to filter information.

Like a filter.

And he does this filtering according to what we focus on.

It's somewhat reminiscent of the advertisements we see on social networks - you searched for something on Google, and you'll immediately start receiving suitable offers."

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I mean in the end I see what I want to see, so why the need to attribute meaning to random signs?

"Because it strengthens something inside that really wants it. It serves us, it gives us strength in the process. Looking for a relationship and not being able to find it is terribly discouraging, you need hope. Then you will see it as a sign that something inside you really wants to be in a relationship already, but that is also the reason. That something inside of you notices this. I don't believe by chance. It reflects your desire, your longing. There is a connection between the inside and the outside. If I believe - that's what I see. And if I see - it makes me believe. That's why we do a lot in a training course Sometimes a vision board. We put what we want in front of our eyes and direct our energy there. That's what we focus on. And in the end it helps you achieve. But it's not enough."

The reason this is not enough, Lebanon explains, is that the one who manages things in the end is not our conscious but the subconscious.

What is in the subconscious is what determines the filter of the filter, and is ultimately what we see and attract to us.

"My premise is that we are not one, we have all kinds of parts and places in us," she says.

"There may be a part of me that really wants a relationship, but if there is another part of me that doesn't really believe that I'm worthy, or believes that you can't trust anyone or that all men cheat - even if I surround myself with a vision board and lots of hearts, it won't help me at all I will no longer do work on what is holding me back from the inside."

"In the past it was thought that our brain stops developing at a certain point, today we know that the brain is flexible, it can heal itself and develop new cells. Every action or thought is a wiring created between two cells, and we can create new connections in the brain and do healing work. In this sense, if I want to believe that a relationship is possible, it's important to look for people around me who are in a good relationship and can inspire me. It's like planting a new possibility in the brain. Showing the subconscious that it's possible. Also doing guided imagery. People think it's something spiritual. And it's not. Because it's a scientific fact that our brain does not differentiate between imagination and reality. Guided imagination is actually producing a future memory. In your brain - this thing is created, for him it exists. Therefore if you want to achieve something and you imagine it in your mind many times before it happens, the brain connections will be formed that tell the brain that it is possible ".

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So the work has to be very specific about the unconscious beliefs that are holding me back.

"That's right. If I just imagine myself in a wedding dress but I believe that men are maniacs, it won't work for me. There has to be a match between what I imagine and what's in my subconscious. It's a kind of interplay between the inside and the outside - make a guided imagination, see Pictures, putting up a vision board, all of this is excellent and plants the idea that it is possible and it happened, but we always have to remember the filter we started with."

And as for things that hold back, Lebanon says, to make love for life begins first of all with making love to yourself.

To love yourself, to believe that you are worthy and loved as you are.

This immediately sends me to the most terrible sentence that can be said to a single man or woman who is dying to find love.

"I didn't say "only". But a lot of people are looking for someone to love them to solve and heal their lack of self-love. And it doesn't work. Those who wait for the world to heal their wounds will keep waiting. The only person who can heal your wounds is you. And then The world will repay you in the same way."

"Healing is not an absolute thing. It's not like a wound that froze and disappeared. There's no point where you can say: 'Well, we've healed.' What you see on the outside is what you will get. You have to believe that you deserve it, and mean it. I think that when you say this sentence to yourself, or positive sentences in general, check with yourself if you really believe it, if it goes down your throat or if there is something inside you that is there Doubt or question mark. If something like that exists, work needs to be done."

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