In 2018, the Mexican singer Carla Morrison (Tecate, 36 years old) decided to get away from the cameras and the spotlight for mental health.
One of the most important alternative pop artists in Mexico felt sad and alone.
She had won two Latin Grammys for her first album,
Let me cry
(2012), one of the best-selling albums that year in her country, and another for her second album,
Amor Supremo
(2016).
She filled concert halls and had a legion of followers and, however, the day came when she thought that it was much better to "stop existing" than to continue with that life.
He says that the harassment and criticism through social networks about his appearance, his body and his voice one day weighed too much on him.
They made a dent.
Tours, awards and promotions stopped making her happy and she hung up her guitar.
She stopped singing.
Then came the pandemic, the death of her father from coronavirus and a great silence invaded her.
In 2020 he left Mexico and settled in Paris.
From that reflection, from introspection and from everything she learned, his new album,
El renacimiento
(2022) emerged.
a work in which the author shows a large part of that darkness with songs dedicated to anxiety, toxic relationships and also to reinventing herself again.
Reborn and reinforced, Morrison has returned after almost seven years without releasing an album with a new concert tour of Mexico, the United States and South America: next August 30 and 31 you will be able to see her at the Metropolitan Theater in Mexico City.
From her house in Los Angeles, she talks to EL PAÍS about this new stage:
Ask.
We were used to Carla Morrison singing about love, but on this album she also sings about anxiety, would she say it's a deeper feeling than love?
Response.
Yes, I mean, it's very deep.
It is a very deep layer that is difficult for us to decode and understand.
When I started making songs about mental health, depression, anxiety, it was hard for me to put words to it.
It was very difficult, but at the same time, it was therapeutic.
P.
It's ok not to be ok
[It's okay not to be okay] Do you agree with that statement?
R.
Yes, totally.
We have all been told that when you have mental problems you are broken, like you are useless.
I believe that mental health goes hand in hand with physical health.
You have to work them together and seek help if you don't feel well.
We have to give it a space in our lives.
P.
How have you managed to overcome that sadness you felt?
R.
I started going to therapy and I understood that it took a while to know who I was again.
At first I felt super bad, then I started to cut everything that was bad for me, then I went through the phase of self-love and ended up with acceptance.
The concert and the album are articulated in these four stages.
Q.
And at what point did you make the decision to stop?
R.
I was working a lot and I didn't feel strong enough to start another album, another tour... When you grow up they tell you that's what you have to do, find your calling and do it and do it and do it because that's what you came into the world for.
I felt tired, fed up and angry.
He had courage towards me, towards my career.
I had completely abandoned my family relationships, I only lived to work.
I forgot who I was and I started to feel bad, to realize that when I was at the
shows
I had zero desire to go on stage, I just wanted to be at home and then I started to think that maybe if I didn't exist, everything it would be easier.
Depression and anxiety made me realize that I was not happy.
Q.
What is it like to live with anxiety?
R.
I think that sadly many girls and women my age who have not talked about this, live it very often.
When I was nine years old a cousin of my parents abused me.
After that I started to feel very strange, I started to get scared, I started hearing voices, for a long time I didn't tell my parents out of fear.
That marked me for life and I live with it.
I would like someone who listens to my songs and who lived it too, to feel that I am there and that there is a connection between us.
Q.
What do your fans tell you about the new album?
R.
When the songs came out, people made them their own.
Many of them thank me for putting words to what, sometimes, they don't know how to express.
Q.
The renaissance
comes at a time when as a society, we have normalized talking about mental health.
Why do you think it is so important to deal with the subject from music?
R.
Well, because past generations did not do it and they did not teach us to do so.
For our parents and grandparents it was very normal to go through life hiding emotions.
However, I think we as a generation need to say how we feel.
Honesty, in the end, is what leaves us free and good with ourselves.
Q.
How was living in Paris?
R.
The first few months I spent a lot of time in silence because I didn't know how to speak the language and I didn't have friends.
That forced me to listen to all those voices that I had inside of me.
It was very hard and very beautiful because I realized all that I needed.
Q.
How did social networks affect your health?
R.
I think that in social networks everything has become perfect.
We all seem happy all the time and it's not true.
P.
And now who is Carla Morrison after this revival?
R.
Well, a much more relaxed Carla, much happier.
Now I practice self-love, something that she did not practice before.
Before, she was very rude to me and spoke very ugly to me.
I have a better time, I enjoy it.
I know I like it, I know I need it.
I feel a complicity with myself and I like myself.
I am my friend.
Maybe it's also because I'm 36 years old and everything is beginning to not matter much to me...
Q.
Well, I've heard that after 40 you care even less...
A.
Haha, well, what a thrill!
Q.
Can you always start over?
A.
Sure.
You can start over as many times as you want.
It's a rocky road, but you can always do it as long as we're alive.
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