Flirting at work: four questions to ask yourself before dating someone from the office

By Chantal Gautier - The Conversation

Online dating and swiping right to tell someone you like them is the  dating

 in the digital age.

Gone are the days of meeting 

 in a bar.

But what happened to flirting at the coffee machine?

That remains, even though the consensual relationship in the office has been, for decades, a taboo.

There are many reasons someone might enter into a relationship at your workplace.

Studies show that people gravitate toward others with common personality traits, backgrounds, beliefs, and ideas.

, something psychologists call the 

effect .

For better or worse, offices are a place where like-minded people meet for many hours.

So it's no wonder so many are open to love at work.

If you're thinking of getting into a relationship with your table partner, or even your boss, here are some things to consider.

1. Is it a hierarchical relationship?

Despite its prevalence, office hookups are still frowned upon, especially after the #MeToo movement.

Deciding to start a relationship with a hierarchical difference at work (when one of the partners has a position with a higher rank than the other) is not something to be taken lightly.

Studies show that feelings of passion can negatively affect productivity at work, because our minds are elsewhere and not on the tasks at hand.Getty Images

A person of lower employment status who begins a romantic relationship with his boss or with a higher-ranking worker sometimes has to face rumors in his career because of that relationship.

Although some may think that such a relationship could help them advance at work, in reality their relationship situation could hinder their progress. 

It has been found that the lower status person in that relationship is less likely to be promoted or recommended for training opportunities.

2. How can it affect work performance?

With love and sex on the brain, does anyone get a job?

The general view is that making 

 is bad for business and affects productivity.

Studies show that feelings of passion and love, especially in the early stages of a relationship, can negatively affect productivity because our minds are elsewhere and not on the tasks at hand.

This is especially difficult in a professional setting, and when you may have to work side by side with your partner.

However, steps can be taken to avoid distractions, such as minimizing non-work-related communications and avoiding gestures of intimacy in the workplace.

3. Does your organization allow it?

Flirting and dating are natural situations whether companies like it or not.

Prohibiting romantic relationships at work is not the solution and, in any case, only leads to them being taken underground.

Despite this, there are employers who manage relationships through 

: written rules and policies that confirm that the relationship is consensual and voluntary.

This is not only intended to protect the partner, but to protect the employer from being sued for harassment if the relationship breaks down.

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Employees may not want to reveal to their line managers, human resources staff, or their peers who they have relationships with.

In fact, article 12 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights protects people's right to private and family life, which could explain why love contracts are not used in all countries.

Employers have to balance their own business interests with their employees' right to privacy.

However, just as there are policies and training to address sexual harassment, discrimination and mental health, there is also a need to address workplace romances.

The company should have accessible (and reasonable) policies and guidelines on the disclosure of relationships, especially when they are hierarchical.

4. What happens if the relationship breaks up?

While no one plans for their relationship to end, things do happen and it's best to be prepared.

In a relationship outside of the workplace, a breakup can mean decreased productivity or a need for mental health time off.

But if you're working with an ex, there are other issues to consider, like whether you need to interact or work on a project together.

Where applicable,

until calm is restored.

Companies may also offer counseling or programs to support employees going through difficult times, such as depression, grief, or the aftermath of a broken relationship.

Ultimately, how employers choose to manage workplace romance depends on:

• Recognize that workplace relationships exist.

• Understand that happier and more satisfied employees tend to be more productive and better collaborators in teams.

It's in employers' best interest to support the well-being of workers, even (and especially) when those workers fall in love.