Boss and saber-toothed tiger - More and more calls because of narcissistic bosses

Created: 09/11/2022, 08:00

By: Marc Write

Have a lot of experience with narcissists: Otto Berg, co-founder of the Mobbingberatung Munich, and mediator Siglinde Loesch.

Photo: Marc Schreib © Marc Schreib

Mediator Siglinde Loesch and Otto Berg, co-founders of Mobbingberatung München, are increasingly dealing with cases involving a very special form of bullying.

Neubiberg

– Many recognize a narcissistic personality profile in their superiors, which affects them greatly.

During a conversation in a front yard in Neubiberg, Siglinde Loesch and Otto Berg draw attention to the problems and give advice on how to help one another.

Do you have a prototype that can represent a narcissist that everyone knows?

Siglinde Loesch

: Yes.

the US ex-president.

When I have someone like Donald Trump in front of me.

I can't solve anything anymore.

I have to take my feet in hand and look for something new.

There are different degrees of narcissists.

However, it is not easy to determine the clinical picture, it is sometimes used in an inflationary way, isn't it?

Siglinde Loesch:

Exactly.

According to the psychoanalyst Fritz Riemann, there are four basic types of anxiety: schizoid, depressive, hysterical and obsessive.

In this case, it's about the narcissist.

Everyone has a part in it.

The range is immensely different.

My intention: These are normal people.

You shouldn't curse them because, like all other types, narcissistic personalities have fears that they process.

Even if they don't show them to the outside world.

You fight a battle with yourself all your life.

They bring innovations to companies, break with tradition and do everything to advance their careers.

But the corporations also recognize that these people burn staff.

The question then becomes how do I deal with a narcissist in the workplace?

Siglinde Loesch:

First of all, I have to learn to understand people.

How can I deal with him without him hurting me.

In my speaking engagements, I've found that the employees who suffer from these narcissists are very triggered and have a high level of entitlement.

They hope for a patent solution, which unfortunately does not exist.

But maybe the situation will ease up a bit due to the lack of staff and there will be a rethink in the companies?

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Siglinde Loesch:

We hope so.

But there are also strategies to protect yourself.

First of all, employees should look and see what is going well.

They should give far less weight to silly sayings.

Many people swallow the humiliation at first and only call us shortly before they have a nervous breakdown.

Don't get too worked up about something, especially if it's happening very rarely.

Four times a year is no reason to panic.

A typically narcissistic statement by a company boss at a team conference: He hired a personal trainer and bought a punching bag.

In the basement, he would rather beat it than his employees.

One of them then felt threatened, got stomach cramps and sweated.

Characteristics of fear from primeval times: The saber-toothed tiger is standing in front of me.

In such cases, a lot of people call us.

Calmness almost always helps.

When the employee listens to a tirade from the boss without grumbling and then says, "I'll make myself some coffee now.

Do you like one too?” The point isn't to change the narcissist, it's to confuse them.

But some things may not be able to be retouched after all.

Otto Berg:

Everything I've experienced there.

A lot of good people have been broken.

If the board of directors pulls you out and exposes you at a representative meeting, that's it.

And nobody dares to say anything.

You always have to be silent and take everything.

What I've witnessed since everything, a meanness.

Siglinde Loesch:

There are two educational methods that create a narcissist.

By humiliation: “You are nothing, you can't do anything, you won't become anything.” Or by too much praise.

In both cases, the children develop a false self-image, become suspicious and incapable of bonding.

When someone then says to him as an adult: The weather is nice today, he feels criticized.

And that's just because you have different opinions.

Can a narcissist mend in the workplace?

Siglinde Loesch:

Only if it is to his advantage.

And he sees the opportunity to rise faster through friendly attention.

Certainly he will not change because of divine inspiration.

advisory

The phone number for mobbing advice in Munich is: 089/60 60 00 70. Telephone hours: Tuesday: 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. Thursday: 9 a.m. to 12 p.m., info@mobbing-beratung-muenchen.de