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Are you sure you don't go to the grocery store with love? Relationship, money and everything in between Israel today

2022-09-17T19:19:27.415Z


Data collected in the USA shows that disagreements about money are one of the leading reasons for divorce. So why is it so difficult for couples to talk about money? One reason is that money is considered taboo in Western society, and we are not educated to talk about this topic. Another reason is that fear, guilt And vulnerability is sometimes a source of conflict around issues related to money -


Data collected in the USA shows that disagreements about money are one of the leading reasons for divorce. So why is it so difficult for couples to talk about money? One reason is that money is considered taboo in Western society, and we are not educated to talk about this topic. Another reason is that fear, guilt And vulnerability is sometimes a source of conflict around issues related to money - fear of not having enough, guilt for not being able to earn enough money as it should or should be, and vulnerability arising from these feelings.

Why do many couples have different attitudes towards money?

The answer is that each couple grew up in a different environment in relation to money.

The two bring these values ​​and expectations to the relationship, and this is a potential for disagreements.

Why is this happening?

Money symbolizes much more than money itself.

Let's take, for example, the case of G and T, who experience many conflicts between them on the subject.

C. grew up with a father who owed large sums.

She remembers the sadness, shame and guilt when their house was sold after her father was declared bankrupt.

She promised herself that she would never live like her parents.

T. grew up in a house where no money was spent and lived with the feeling that he was missing out on many things.

He decided that he would never live like his parents.

The different attitude of T and C to money makes sense - money symbolizes security and stability for C and she is worried that if she spends, she will lose her sense of security.

Money symbolizes opportunity and life for T, and he worries that if he counts every expense, he will never be able to live life to the fullest.

But if they manage to create an open and genuine dialogue, in which they understand the other person's view on the issue of money, can feel empathy towards each other and express it, they may be on the path to improving the marital relationship to money.

Thus, for example, C can learn from T to enjoy money, and he can learn self-control from her.

Therefore, developing a dialogue about money can lead to an improvement in relations.

Examples of specific questions that can be used when developing the dialogue: What did you learn from your father about money?

What did you learn from your mother about money?

Who made decisions about expenses at the parents' house?

How were the decisions made?

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Source: israelhayom

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