Parenting tips from psychologists: What parents can do to ensure that the child listens to them 

Created: 2022-09-20Updated: 2022-09-20 14:03

By: Natalie Hull Drawbar

Whether it's washing hands, being quiet or tidying up, parents know quite a few situations in which their child "doesn't want" to hear.

You can!

Everyday life with children is turbulent, exciting, loud, funny, emotional and often frustrating - especially when parents have the feeling that their child reacts cheekily, follows and does not listen to them.

Children do this "on purpose"?

No, not in most cases.

Behind the behavior of the little ones there is usually a need that wants to be satisfied: tiredness, wanting to be creative and play longer or (not) hungry.

But it can sometimes seem that way to parents, especially if they make a request or request several times and the little ones don't react.

If the situation in which parents want their child to cooperate is also associated with time pressure, this can also result in louder emotions and a tantrum in the child.

It's not at all easy to remain calm in such moments - which educators always advise parents - and to look at your own child and the motives for his or her behavior as objectively as possible from the outside.

Tips from psychologists can help parents in everyday life so that their own child is more likely to listen to them.

Education: Is ease or strictness required?

What can parents do to make children listen to them better and tidy up their room, for example?

(Iconic image) © alimdi/Imago

There are numerous parenting tips on how parents can do some things better or differently.

So it is not surprising that parents often feel insecure.

The style parents use to bring up their child usually becomes apparent in the course of parenting, often shaped by their own childhood experiences.

Whether helicopter parents, strict upbringing or submarine parents, they all share one challenge: what to do if the child doesn't hear?

Parenting tips from psychologists: What parents can do to ensure that the child listens to them 

• Address the child directly and at eye level:

  
  

  Do not shout from one room to another or even shout.

  “It is important that the parents are present.

  So go there, look at the children, preferably at eye level.

  The child has to remember: I'm only busy with you at the moment! ”As the portal

  family

  quotes the qualified psychologist Jürgen Plass, head of the educational advice center in Fulda.

• Voice and pitch convey clarity to children and encourage their attention:

  
  

  Not only what parents say to their child is decisive for a possible cooperation, but also the "how".

  That means voice, body language and words have to fit together, as the well-known Danish family therapist Jesper Juul explained.

  “A voice that is guided from top to bottom conveys clarity and resonates with the child.

  But often the parents' voice is thin and unconsciously raised at the end of the sentence.

  This signals to the children that the parents are addressing what has been said to them as a question or that they don't really know how they should feel about the situation," says teacher Monika Kiel-Hinrichsen.

  Parents should not formulate clear requests as a question, with something like "okay?" at the end.

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• A positive reaction with praise helps more than scolding about the negative behavior:

  
  

  "Parents often reward the unwanted behavior - with attention," says psychologist Jürgen Plass.

  “Correct behavior, on the other hand, is often ignored because we take it for granted.

  For example, if the teeth are actually brushed immediately.

  But then it's not worth it for the child to do so well again in the future.

  Praise is the royal road to change.”

• Humor defuses and promotes cooperation:

  
  

  Laughter in conflict situations can relax the situation, for children and parents.

  Let your favorite "talking" stuffed animal brush your teeth or clean up together with music, singing and dancing - that's fun and can motivate the little ones.

also read

Lawnmower parents bring up "dependent tyrants", warns an expert

Parenting: Tips for parents when the child is naughty

This article only contains general information on the respective health topic and is therefore not intended for self-diagnosis, treatment or medication.

In no way does it replace a visit to the doctor.

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