Courtesy of those photographed

Tinder is dead, long live speed dating: Israel breaks the Guinness record

They went on hundreds of dates but still haven't found the one or the other.

Neta blames the male ego, and Guy thinks they are looking for the perfect prince - both agree on one thing - the apps have done a lot of damage, and it's time to recalculate a course

Roni Hecht

09/21/2022

09/21/2022

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Just before Israel intends to break the Guinness record for the largest number of participants in the world (we will come back to this later), we met with two eternal bachelors who explain how much they hate the apps, are discouraged by members of the opposite sex but still dream, hope and believe in love around the corner.

She is Neta Arzi, 39 years old from Ramat Gan.

Works in mental health rehabilitation.

Here we would insert a joke about the state of mental health of the men she dated, but we will refrain.

She estimated she went on 300 dates, doesn't believe in matchmaking and thinks that the workplace is not a good place to meet guys, and the truth is that her workplace is.

Maybe really less.

he.

Guy Abergil, 47 years old from Sderot.

A devoted Auto-Depot employee who called off a wedding at the last minute due to infidelity (hers in him), always insists on paying on the first date (well, aroma is not wisdom) and regrets the women he rejected for nonsense like eating style, tone of voice or writing without commas.

Neta Arzi (Photo: Courtesy of those photographed)

"The situation today in the dating market is Sodom and Gomorrah," Abergil begins.

"I used to be excited about the fact that there are a lot of flowing women and an endless abundance, but this abundance hurts everyone. I once went on a first date with someone and she told me that when she was in the bathroom she liked two other guys. I wasn't angry. I myself used her time in the bathroom to make an appointment with someone else Guy doesn't blame anyone,

and

"All this abundance is very confusing. It causes people to get up and leave with every little pips. I was like that too. I know that in retrospect I dismissed lovely girls for silly things that today would not bother me. Today I want to give a chance, let the attraction happen, get to know the son A person across the street, but on the other side they make the same mistakes I did and get disqualified for the exact same things. If I live half an hour away from her, it's too much. Someone else told me that she's used to going out with a height of 6 feet and I'm 'only' 1.80. Otherwise she didn't like The fact that I have a dog and she asked me if it was something I was willing to give up. I sent her straight home. I didn't even accompany her to the car."

Neta reports more general disqualifications.

"Someone wrote to me that he wanted three children and at my age it wouldn't happen. Then he remarked to me on a second date that my job didn't bring in much money - and this while I was earning almost twice as much. There was someone who didn't like the fact that I have a dog (anyone else smell a matchmaking option here? ). There is a vibe among men that women are looking for the rich and perfect, that we are picky princesses, but in reality the other side is no less picky. Someone once told me that it wouldn't happen because I sat the whole date with a scarf and a coat and in my photos I would look sexier. It's terribly frustrating."

Guy Abergil (Photo: Courtesy of those photographed)

And gentlemen, it's getting worse:

"Just this week, someone asked me how Shabbat was for me. I answered and he didn't respond. He disappeared. I decided that I was insisting and trying to understand and I asked what happened, so he replied, "I didn't get along well, I wish you luck." What? I told you I left run and then I did SAP. Why exactly didn't you connect? And it's about a guy who has a picture with a surfboard, yes? Look how easily a guy cancels you. At that moment I wanted to delete all the apps and quit the game. I felt like another donkey like this and I'm losing hope. How easily you disappear and get eliminated, It feels impossible in this world."

Guy is also frustrated by the selection of apps: "So many girls on the apps today are even married. I was once on a stunning date with someone at the beach, things started to get heated and suddenly a phone call and she yells at me, "Shh, be quiet, it's my husband." She later claimed that they are in the process of breaking up. But as far as I'm concerned she lied. And there are a lot of them. In Facebook groups there are women who are supposedly looking for a relationship but their profile says happily married or with a picture of a couple. So how can you find true love like that?"

Neta, who got out of a relationship that seemed promising before the corona virus, things have changed a lot since the days of the closures.

In many cases she feels that men want to jump straight into a relationship.

Leave us dating and courting, let me get up with you and talk to you about my day.

"Maybe the time when the dates were at home and they didn't have to spend money, so they don't want to put in too much effort. They also expect me to feel comfortable, to open up about personal things. They want to meet for a first date at home and sleep together and I say wait. Intimacy is something that needs to be built, it's impossible Pressing fast forward and being in a relationship, then moving on to the next thing, as if it doesn't happen on the first date, or even in the first half hour - on the first date. "I didn't understand what warmth and closeness he meant.

I've known him for 40 minutes, he expects us to hold hands and kiss?

I was very surprised because I was very pleasant until that moment.

He told me that he doesn't like being distant on a first date and it puts him off.

"It might sound funny that I'm complaining about such a thing, but today sex has become too accessible. It's too easy and it brings you down. You used to have to start the process and get to bed, and it was wow. Today, a little chemistry is enough and it always ends in sex. Always. If someone is sitting in front of me, Says she wants love, to move forward slowly and after an hour she puts me in her bed, it takes me away from her because she doesn't really behave according to how she presents herself and that's not what I'm looking for. I'm just waiting for the one to dry me up for two weeks. Tell me let's move forward slowly, come We'll get to know each other, let's wait with the intimacy for when we really will be. But it's not happening."

Women at Speed ​​Date have a selection (Photo: ShutterStock)

According to Neta, a woman who takes the reins is only pulling on paper.

"The Israeli man is very influenced by ego. Let them say until tomorrow that they want someone to initiate. Bottom line, every time I or our girlfriends initiate - they disappear. Even in 2022, men want to initiate. Something remains very old-fashioned. On the other hand, there are more expectations from us as women that we will be Careerists, we will earn well, we will be more invested, well-groomed and of course under a certain age."

Guy also agrees that age has weight - but of a different kind.

"I'm 47 years old. I'm dying for a relationship, for a family. It's very frustrating. I understand that at this age there are more scratches and we have experience and failures, but let's also apply our experience in life. What we have gained. I feel that I already understand that the initial click is not what counts. You can't determine anything in half a minute. You've arrived, you've seen, even if the look isn't perfect in your eyes, but he has a nice smile? Good eyes? Give it a chance. Let's go deeper, let's get to know each other for a moment, maybe there's gold inside? Or is there a person here who could be a bull For you? The times changed everything, the availability and openness - with all the good, they brought a lot of bad. I used to rule out the beginning because the meat market - will come differently. Today I try to concentrate on the good things and build on them."

"I don't believe in love at first sight," adds Neta.

"I believe that attraction can come even on a third date and that you should give it a chance" (seriously good, someone exchange phones between them).

"But it must be mutual. There is an expectation from women that we compromise more and they less so. Mainly about the exterior. It's as if we are expected to contain the fact that there is no immediate attraction, but at the same moment they will reject me if they don't like my hair. And I've already been told that if I was curly they wouldn't be They approve of me or they don't compromise on age and weight. Men are allowed not to compromise, us much less so."

This Thursday (9/22) a speed date will be held that threatens to become the mother of all speed dates in the world with an insane number of 1,500 registrants (and counting).

If everything goes as planned, it will be about breaking the Guinness world record currently held by the Irish (960 participants only, suckers.) The event, called Moonlight Speed ​​Date, is taking place as part of the launch of the new wine series of Carmel Wineries, CARMEL MOONLIGHT, which is suitable for any couple's date, whether at a picnic on the beach Or even at home on the sofa (a little more publicity part and we're done) The series includes three wines, light and delicious to drink, rich in deep colors and powerful aromas produced from grapes harvested in moonlight when they are at their peak ripeness and juiciness (it was tedious).

"I signed up for a speed date, but my expectations are not high," Neta admits.

"Another way to see people not from the apps. There is an advantage to the fact that it's only a three-minute date and then you decide who you want to continue talking with. Maybe an initial screening that will pass. I have no choice but to believe. I don't want to give up."

"I insist on not giving up. Even though sometimes it's very frustrating" adds Guy "I have a lot of love that wants to go out, just find the one and I'll bring the sky down for her."

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