If the parents cannot afford the upbringing - foster family as a haven

Created: 09/22/2022, 12:30 p.m

By: Laura May

Ideally, children find security and structure in foster families.

© Ute Grabowsky/photothek.net

Drugs, violence, psychological problems - under certain circumstances, parents cannot take care of their children themselves.

The options are then home or foster care.

But fewer and fewer people are willing to take in children.

An exhibition in the district office is intended to shake people up.

County

– Benny's life got off to a rough start.

He suffers from the rare Apert syndrome: his skull bone presses on his brain, his palate is spread, his fingers have grown together – his parents are giving him up for adoption.

"When you see a child like that, you ask yourself: What can it do for that?" says foster mother Marianne (73), who does not want to read her last name in the newspaper for Benny's protection.

As part of on-call care, the baby came to her home in the southern district 17 years ago.

When his dedicated adoptive parents dropped out at short notice, Marianne decided together with her family: Benny stays.

Odyssey of Operations

An odyssey of a total of 18 operations, visits to the doctor, special treatments and care followed.

Today Benny has both feet on the ground, has finished high school, plays table tennis and meets friends.

"He's a family member that we can no longer imagine without," says Marianne.

She is proud of Benny, from an early age it felt like he was her own child.

This "quickly became a matter of course".

Very high need for foster families

Marianne and Benny's story is not unique.

There are currently 75 foster families in the district – according to Brigitte Heck, head of the district office’s foster children service, the need is far higher.

However, there are no exact figures.

Heck has been working in the field since 1995 and has observed an increasing reluctance on the part of potential foster families.

"Societal problems are also noticeable in care," she says.

Uncertain times do not encourage the decision to take on another family member.

"There used to be more foster families," says Heck.

Another reason: people just don't know enough about full-time care.

Most people think of elderly care when they hear the term.

So when she brought the traveling exhibition of the "Freunde der Kinder" association to Munich, her main concern was to provide information, give impetus and arouse interest.

The work of foster parents and their challenges should be made visible.

Challenges are big

Heck hopes that in the future more people will decide to take in a child.

"Especially with smaller children, one sees that they are being cared for by families." There is no institution in the world that can replace a family as a haven.

However, the process is never easy, the foster parents have to be aware of the challenges: What does my environment say?

How does taking in a child shape my everyday life?

How heavy does the backpack from the child's life story weigh?

Is it financial?

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The motivation for taking in a foster child is central and mostly social or religious.

"Either you do it from the heart or not at all," agrees Marianne.

Under no circumstances should financial incentives decide this.

“You have to accept children unconditionally.

Nursing allowance must not flow into the car," says Head of Department Heck.

Success stories like Benny's prove that it can work.

"When I saw Benny for the first time, I was shocked too," 73-year-old Marianne recalls today.

"I didn't know what to expect," she says - at a moment when she can no longer imagine life without her foster son Benny.

Exhibition in the district office

The traveling exhibition from Hamburg is set up in the district office in the main building at Mariahilfplatz 17 in Munich until October 4th and is accessible free of charge.

Opening hours: Monday to Friday 8 a.m. to 12 p.m., Thursday 2 p.m. to 5.30 p.m.

Further information on the touring exhibition of the Friends of the Children is available at: www.freunde-der-kinder.de