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The people with the sinkhole Israel today

2022-09-22T19:39:20.719Z


Some will see the sinkhole that opened this week as a symbol of Israeli happenicism, but for Nitzani it is an opportunity • New road signs, towers for depth instead of height and also geyser sinkholes - the sky is the limit • Happy and stable new year


This week, when we already thought that the most surprising thing that could happen in the Ayalon lanes is that there would be no traffic jam in the middle of the day, a 12-meter deep sinkhole appeared near the Peace Interchange.

Miraculously, no one was hurt, but there was a chain reaction of road blocks and traffic jams, not to mention all the curious people who came to see the miracle and increased the traffic even more, and all together created a big mess that disrupted the normal traffic jam routine.

The next day, the citizens were asked not to enter the city and to work from home, a request that does not really catch on with taxi drivers, who will have difficulty taking passengers in a hurry - and soldiers received special permission to return to the bases without it costing them an hour on the way out.

The Minister of Transportation immediately announced that they are taking care of the sinkhole and making sure there are no more sinkholes (or sinkholes) and thanked the public for following the instructions.

Immediately afterwards, other politicians were also involved in the issue, who rushed to harness all their experience and ability for the lofty goal of hurling mutual accusations at each other and debating which minister and which government was responsible for the formation of the sinkhole.

I wouldn't be surprised if, before the elections, one of the parties doesn't hold back and use the slogan "the people with the sinkhole".

Only Far Tessi did not take advantage of the opportunity and the location to update his song "The Way of Peace", with the line "She invites the opposite of us both and only complains about the hole".

Even though I don't know much about geology, I was immediately struck by the fear that it all stems from the Israeli haltoura and hafif, and that all the towers in the vicinity, and there are many there that still seem too tall to me, were perhaps built using the dubious Falkel method and someday they too will collapse and turn the whole area into one big sinkhole.

This is not the first sinkhole to be discovered in Israel.

In the Dead Sea region there are already more sinkholes than tourists with psoriasis, and there have already been people who have paid with their lives in all kinds of buildings that have been swallowed up.

However, I suggest looking at the matter a little differently, trying to understand what the universe is signaling to us here and how you can turn the sinkhole into an advantage, or as the saying goes: if life has given you sinkholes, make them into a sinkhole.

The easiest thing is to try to plug every hole that opens, but maybe there are other options on the table, or on the road?

- and sorry in advance that I'm digging.

For example, for people who suffer from a fear of heights, the sinkholes can be used to dig new towers - but this time, instead of height, depth.

The project, which can be called Azrieli Cellars, can also solve the problems of overcrowding and the land shortage that the country suffers from, and if it is possible to build islands on the sea off the coast of Tel Aviv, what's wrong with an apartment on the first line for a groundwater reservoir?

Since land prices are only rising, it may be time to start building underground, as part of the "Sinkhole for Residents" operation, and those looking for a pit of a slightly higher standard, will be able to buy a property in "Gindi Depths" or in the "yoo, here's a mole" project.

The underground neighborhoods will benefit from easy access to the subway, for which there will be just a train.

Unlike normal buildings, the underground neighborhoods will be shaded, which will save on the use of air conditioning and reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

Regarding the train, since it is already clear that it is too much for us to dig and build a subway that will start operating before the year 3000, this may be our lifeline, and maybe nature just took pity on us and said, let's help with the digging for these poor people who have been trying for 60 years to build a subway.

When we understand that the sinkhole is not the problem but the solution, everything will be simpler.

An underground network of tunnels and trains will alleviate the problem of traffic jams and will also provide a livelihood for hundreds of underground musicians and shopping centers, and we will all be able to travel and enter Tel Aviv through additional entrances and drive not only in Ayalon South and Ayalon North, but also in Lower Ayalon or its new name "Bolanon Routes" .

With a little initiative and positive thinking, ministers and officials will be able to take credit for digging the sinkholes and cut a ribbon at the initiation ceremony of the new sinkhole.

Before you start digging and building, you should of course also check carefully that the sinkhole is not resting on the remains of an ancient Jewish tomb or on the ruins of the ancient Roman city of Bolenopolis.

On the other hand, such a discovery could turn the sinkhole into a tourist site, and it may even be time to market the sinkholes as a natural wonder in the style of Iceland's geysers or as an architectural attraction like the fountains of Rome, and bring here sinkhole tourism from all over the world.

In the summer it will be possible to fill the sinkholes with water, to say that the surrounding asphalt contains minerals with healing properties and to sell bottles of "salt pit products".

It will only be necessary to resolve the dispute between the state, which wants the site to be part of the Parks and Historic Sites Authority of the Ministry of Tourism, and the Tel Aviv Municipality, which will claim that the sinkhole is a classic Tel Aviv attraction, collect an excessive property tax on it, paint it red and white and hand out fines to everyone who parks in the vicinity .

Without giving away military secrets that could help the enemy, may his name be deleted, it is worth mentioning that the pit that was opened is physically very close to another famous pit, the one in Kariya, which according to foreign sources is used by the IDF and the heads of the security forces. So perhaps the new pit is actually an attempt by Hostile elements are digging a tunnel from Gaza to reach our secret pit, and I hope that before they closed it they checked if there wasn't some Hamasnik crawling in there.

After, God willing, more sinkholes emerge around Tel Aviv, the Israeli technology companies will also be able to lend a hand to the Zionist attraction the likes of which we haven't seen since the Belaumilich Canal.

Wise will create a special map for Tel Aviv that will also include a dimension of depth, including messages that will inform you that "a car has been swallowed by the side of the road" or "in two hundred meters you will fall into the second pit on the right", and in Galgalat it will be reported that Moses will time three seconds from the top of the pit until he hits his head on the bottom of the sinkhole Guardia.

The delivery companies will also adapt to the new reality and develop vehicles capable of traveling underground that know how to combine driving in sand and water - and between us, like today's couriers travel on roads, even a ten-meter pit will not seem like something particularly dangerous to them.

The Ministry of Transportation will open a complete set of road signs, for example "right of way for those falling on the right" and "allowed falling speed - up to 400 km/h", and from now on they will say instead of a traffic light - Ram-Bur.

If we specialize in the field, we will be able to develop sinkhole sports in the future, and just as we have the experts in the winter who run with their jeeps on all fours to get swept away in floods and have to be rescued by helicopter, the sinkhole enthusiasts will jump into pits in Ayalon and in a few years we will have an Israeli Olympic champion in pit jumping or Running deep.

In the meantime, I recommend that everyone who travels the streets of Tel Aviv wear a helmet.

You never know when you will fall into a sinkhole, a tower will fall on you or you will fall on a normal day and some electric scooter will just run over you.

Happy and stable year.

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Source: israelhayom

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