like friends

When I dress up (what an ugly word, as if it were damaged) to meet a friend, I realize that I take much more care than when I meet a man.

I review myself, I analyze myself, I look at myself a thousand times in the mirror, I think about his tastes and his way of understanding beauty.

If I break down my concerns into everything related to appearance and aesthetics, image, body and dress, I have to honestly admit that I care much more about their opinion than theirs.

I am aware of what they are going to judge in me because it is what I judge myself, I know what they are going to value and appreciate because it is what I value and appreciate.

Liking a woman is much more difficult than liking a man because when the factor of sexual attraction does not mediate, everything becomes more demanding.

Although men have evolved and can become sophisticated in their taste, most still focus on the usual: boobs, ass, a typically sexy appearance.

I am speaking, of course, from the perspective that I know best, that of heterosexuality.

I began to realize the importance of other women's judgment of my appearance when, as a teenager, I had to attend parties where there was very little opportunity to interact with men because the environment imposed an ironclad segregation between the sexes.

We cousins ​​huddled together in front of the mirror and groomed ourselves following countless rules: you had to be pretty, but without abusing artifice, be elegant, have immaculate skin, and long, straight hair.

When I entered the room full of ladies, I had the feeling that every millimeter of my body was being scrutinized with a magnifying glass.

Your teeth, your nose, your ass, your breasts, your waist, what looks good on you, what doesn't look good on you, how you dance, how you move.

It became suffocating and if I managed to get out and exchange a look with a boy who did not notice so many details,

I felt relieved.

Perhaps that is why women whose efforts seemed destined to attract the male gaze were censored.

Something like this continues to happen today: we ruthlessly judge those who dress too sexually, instead of opting for sophistication, neatness and restraint that does not represent a danger to others.

This factor must be taken into account when we talk about the imposition of beauty canons: we are part of the gear.

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