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Sorry, I sinned: 9 things women should apologize for

Of course we are right about everything, of course.

But it's a holiday now, we're all on vacation, and the atmosphere at home is very critical, so here are some small apologies.

In honor of Yom Kippur, and this

Karin Arad

03/10/2022

03/10/2022

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True, true, women are not wrong.

At least that's what an alien would think if he accidentally stumbled upon 90% of the conversations women have on this planet.

Men are always to blame for everything, don't understand anything, shit, insensitive, and also have the audacity to ask for coffee (which I will never do, because making coffee is known as one of the main reasons for inequality, and some say - for apartheid).

Kidding aside, on the spectrum of sensitivities there are women who will be offended if a man asks them for coffee, but it will seem completely natural to them that the opposite happens.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but a pretty important part of the idea of ​​equality is reciprocity, isn't it?

Equally equal, finished finished?

This means, for example, that if he does something for you and doesn't feel inferior, you shouldn't either.

This simple insight, and several others, constitute important steps in the pursuit of true equality, which will hopefully one day replace the constant anger that prevails between the sexes and someday become gender sanity.

Therefore and accordingly, one of the first things that I think we should do is take responsibility for our side, and stop being victims where we don't have to.

In honor of Kippur, here are some things that I think we should apologize for to the male sex:

1. On the contempt

About how we talk to men and about men.

We got used to it, but when you think about it for a moment - why?

What does it give us?

Does it compensate us for something?

Enough with these disparaging phrases: they are shit, they are not aware, well, he is a man, and so on.

It's shocking, and if it was the other way around, a demonstration would have been organized in the city square long ago.

2. About castration

This treatment of men as failures who have no choice but to bear their presence must stop.

Even our mothers explain to us from childhood that we should expect Benzog to understand us or talk to us.

"That's why you have good friends", they usually say, half jokingly, half not.

Not funny!

That's how we grew up.

With the expectation, or rather the lack of expectation, that men will have something to contribute to the system besides economics and sperm.

Serially?

Sorry for the fakes (Photo: ShutterStock)

3. On the conflicting messages

Or rather, about one specific message that fucks us all.

Yes, I'm talking about this pretense, where you try to convince yourself and him, that you are terribly "flowing" and "cool".

The problem is that we are still having difficulties adapting to the new order where men do not have to sacrifice their lives to win a kiss on the hand and a perfumed handkerchief, which somewhat caused the balance of power to change.

As in any market, when the supply goes up, the demand goes down, and hey, we're not used to trying.

So we adopted some social lie that doesn't convince anyone, which is: "Women can relate to sex just like men".

OK.

As if yesterday (and the day before, and every day since the age of 14) I didn't cry from a friend who makes this exact argument when someone she slept with because "it's not a big deal", didn't call her.

Leave nonsense, come on.

That's not true, unless you're in love with someone else, the chances of you being okay with being a sex doll for one evening are zero, and this will be evidenced by, well, almost every man who slept with someone and then didn't understand why she was mad at him when they met after a week, by chance , at the bar.

Khals, come on.

If you said you flow, at least lie to the end.

4. On opportunistic feminism

We talk a lot about equality, count the number of women and men in the room to correct the lecturer to plural female because there is one more woman.

This is true, also correcting women who inadvertently say "my husband" (you don't have a husband), or "on my cock" (you don't have a cock. Say 'on my vulva').

So first of all, let me go.

it's a figure of speech.

I don't want to say farts, and I don't care if the voice response of Bezeq's technical support speaks in female or male or with a slash between them.

Saying you're a feminist is easy, but if you moved from your father's house to your boyfriend's house and now you work at a non-profit, maybe you should talk less and do more. Especially if when you go out on a date you get upset when he expects you to pay half.

5. About the Disney in our head

And specifically about the strange fantasy with the knight on the white horse, the man who will come and worship-save-fix everything.

Both because it's retarded, and because, ahem, it's not real.

Maybe in the Middle Ages, when there was still a forced mystery in the world due to a severe lack of technology, but now?

enough, enough of that.

It doesn't work like that, never will, and that's not how love works.

In the end we love in spite of - not because of.

Besides, look at the knight.

He sings, dances, puts on eyeliner and goes out for spaghetti.

Let go, it won't happen.

Waiting for the knight on the white horse?

It's okay, he's coming soon to give you care tips (Photo: ShutterStock)

6. About our relationship talks to where

It's terrible, I know, because I too have made such calls.

And for that I apologize from the bottom of my heart.

What a distressing thing it is to tell someone "we need to talk".

It's also stressful, arrogant, boring, and - worst of all - doesn't work.

You complain, he gets defensive, you whine, he doesn't understand what you're talking about, you feel bad because he claims you're crazy, he feels bad because you just told him you're unhappy with him.

There is no point in having this conversation.

You're just giving him ideas, which, by the way, will come back to you in the breakup.

in my life

If, for example, you gave him a conversation about our relationship where it was based on the claim that "we don't have fun together anymore - every time you want to have fun you go out with friends. It seems to me that you don't love me anymore", half a year later, when you break up, he will tell you "I don't know , I feel like we don't have fun together. Fact is, when we want to have fun we do it with friends. Maybe I just don't love you anymore."

So the next time you feel like you're not having fun together, maybe try to be more fun?

Just an idea.

And if it doesn't work for long, have fun with someone else.

Everything you say to him now will boomerang back to you in parting.

Casual (Photo: ShutterStock)

7. About the forgeries

Yeah, sure, it's for his ego.

Aha.

You're not giving him a gift here, believe me, and you're probably not doing yourself any favors.

And no, you can't start like that and then slowly ingrain new sex habits between you.

You will remain frustrated, your anger will accumulate, and you will just be bitter and blame him for other things.

I'm not saying that there aren't other problems between you beyond that, but be sure that the fact that you never finished when you slept and that you lie to him on a regular basis, is one of them.

8. That we don't know how to apologize

Come on, admit it.

In 99 percent of fights, regardless of what happened and who is to blame, he is the one who apologizes, because he just wants to stop fighting.

How many times has it happened that a man apologized to his partner only because she didn't talk to him, cried, cried to friends, didn't answer the phone?

So he apologized to end the holocaust.

How many times has the opposite happened?

Not much.

Because we will do eights in the air and countless cheap manipulations just to not say "I'm sorry, I was stupid and insecure, I'm sorry".

Maybe it's a bad habit or a control complex, or we've developed an oppressed minority mentality over the years, and that's why we think we're allowed to be bitches until the end of time, but in any case, it's time we learn to apologize.

Because the ability to admit a mistake and apologize for it indicates the complete opposite of inferiority, because we are no longer an oppressed minority, and that it is time to stop with these victim patterns.

If we were already in equality - it is really not useful for us to achieve it.

• Sheee

• sex and relationship

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• Kippur

• Yom Kippur

• holidays

• Sorry

• women

• men

• relations

• a relationship