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They work: this is how Sahim filtered the application

In an age where women warn women against impersonators and men warn men against gold degrees, everyone swims in a surging ocean and coolly glances at the lifeguard's arbor, to see if they spot a red flag.

And what about a beige flag?

How do you sift out the sakhs that are not harmful, but they are annoying?

Mia Agassi

20/03/2022

20/03/2022

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We've gotten a little used to hot talk in the dating world being red flags, but we're here to talk about 50 Shades of Beige.

In an age where every douche is given the title "narcissist" as if he is the king of the swamp in his own right and not just another one who thinks the sun shines from his ass, in an age where gender-based violence is skyrocketing, and even the minister of transportation is preaching to us that our spouses are a ticking time bomb of violence and a danger to our personal security, In an age where women warn women against impersonators and men warn men against gold degrees, everyone swims in a surging ocean and coolly glances at the lifeguard's arbor, to see if they spot a red flag.

There is only one problem.

Even before you get to the red flags (some of which are very noticeable: no one should have to endure sexual and verbal violence online and offline and phenomena such as murderous jealousy or possessiveness and no one should have to endure some purse robber who at the first opportunity will ruin his life with a false complaint), there is another small swimming pool You have to pass on the road and there you have to avoid the flag that is not being talked about: beige in color.

The prince in the picture is my nephew (Photo: ShutterStock, Jeff Thrower)

TikTok has been abuzz lately with this innovative nomenclature, designed to describe everything that isn't violent, horrific, shocking and chilling but just plain boring, furry and meh.

It turns out that there are quite a few such flags in the applications, you just need to know how to find them.

What's more, it's a gamble: a red flag is a red flag, and unless you want to find yourself in a relationship that ends with you lighting a torch or your mother crying bitterly over your grave, it's important to pay attention to the warnings and signs and get out of it in time, as much as possible.

A beige flag, on the other hand, can be tricky.

You might start a conversation with the guy and discover a whole world even though his profile caused you to yawn and not butterflies in your stomach.

But let's say that if it doesn't happen - don't be surprised.

Before you post a photo, take a moment to think about what you are broadcasting (Photo: ShutterStock)

Examples of common beige flags:

An unimportant opinion on an unimportant subject is

hard to be the one to spread the bitter news, but someone has to say it: we don't care what you think.

I mean, we mostly care if you are a rabbi or rabbi, religious or secular, looking for a feminist woman to support you or want someone to stand in the kitchen all day, but these are fundamental issues.

Everything else - not relevant to the relative system.

remember?

The reason why you are in the apps?

Your profile is not the place for a one-sentence manifesto like "Pizza on pineapple is a sin", "Kinder Bueno is life" or something related to the type of arrogant whiskey you drink.

This is not what makes or falls a relationship.

It will take place even if you don't have the same toppings on the pizza and even if, mercifully, one of you has vegan cheese on the pizza.

Save these happy sayings for tweets and Facebook posts.

Look, we all know the subject of pictures is tricky.

You want a body photo, a face photo, an atmosphere photo, a photo that will show that you have many friends, a photo from Kiddush and maybe a few more for a book that will win the hearts of Israeli girls.

But by the way, before you post a picture, take a moment to think: what are you broadcasting?

Some of the images on the apps looked like they were taken straight from "A tourist asked me what Sahi is".

If you broadcast generics, don't be surprised if mostly generic women are attracted to you.

If that's what you want, fine.

If not, maybe you can download the picture of the coffee cop against the background of the sunset.

We all adore Barney, root for Sheldon, worship Kramer, miss Bundy and take Ross's side in the fight with Rachel (what, no?).

We are all here to agree that there are sitcoms that are a timeless cult that has become an inseparable part of our personality and that it is about characters and scripts that have penetrated our souls.

But this is the place to turn to your heart: enough with the quotes.

There will be enough time for that in the future of the relationship and the fact that you are devout viewers of American comedy or Sabry Marnan does not make you special in any way.

Dating apps are already a saturated arena to explode.

So it's true, the card doesn't need to be a purposeful display of over-exertion and a desperate attempt to portray snowflakes, but you also don't need to forcefully prove that you are the most mainstream there is.

Otherwise, you just look and sound like more of the same.

One of my biggest dreams is to meet the first man who sat in front of his card on the dating app and thought to himself: "I know! I will use my brother's and sister's children to show women that I am a father!"

However, it is impossible for the gentle Israeli single women to get confused and think that this is really the father of the children and hence the immortal saying was born: "The children in the picture are my nephews".

I happened to see funny and self-aware paraphrases of this sentence, such as: "The dog in the picture is my nephew" or "The boy in the picture is just a foreign boy, I don't know him at all", but apart from a few clever people, this is a beige flag waving with genius.

Both because everyone writes it and also because even if you are the best uncle in the world, nephews are not equivalent to your own children.

Fatherhood is something you either have or you don't, and both are fine, but a photo with the nephews from the latest family fireside isn't what proves you're ready to spawn your gene pool.

When it comes to men who are not looking for a serious relationship but a hookup, this is a particularly illusory beige flag, because it is not clear how and why your sexual energy is related to children.

All this even before we started talking about the cringe that is used in the pictures of minors, it is not clear if with the permission of the parents, in applications for public use.

The snake in the picture is my nephew (Photo: ShutterStock, AJR_photo)

Kidding aside, I decided to also get some professional opinions on the matter.

Obviously, relationships and dating are a much more complex subject than someone's opinion on Hadar Mokhtar or whether she drinks upside down or espresso, so I turned to an expert in the field.

Debi Rafaela Barkan, a social worker, guides and guides men and women in getting out of toxic relationships, claims that if face-to-face doesn't work either, then there's nothing to talk about, and you shouldn't waste your time on apps either, but don't treat every beige flag dramatically:

"I There are already itches from this whole concept of 'diversifying the relationship'. If it's not - then it's not, and if it's boring from the beginning - then it shouldn't exist at all. And if it's boring after a year, then come on, bye. This sanctity of "together" and keeping in touch , has already become illogical in my eyes. The whole thing, traveling to places to stimulate the relationship, buying a babydoll... and not in the context of sex, it's already excessive.

Regarding the apps, I say: whatever doesn't interest you or doesn't suit you, just slide on.

I don't think there is a guide to 'how to be interesting'.

I do think that the word "reject" should be removed from the lexicon.

'I was disqualified for this... I was disqualified for this...' It's just that there isn't this 'boom' so it's not and everyone and what makes him or her that.

It's a broad topic that goes into small nuances.

In the apps of swiping to the left, the active disqualification, is negative in my eyes.

If I were designing an app, I would do right and skip and not X.

All these disqualifications put the focus on 'let's find out what's wrong here' instead of saying 'okay, he doesn't interest me'.

When we swipe left we don't just say he's not 'interesting to me', but: 'He's invalid'.

Bottom line, I don't see a person who is beige - there is a person who is beige to you.

Even someone who takes a picture with the nephews, there is someone who will say 'wow' to her,

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• relations

• Love

• dating

• sex