"This is what we lack now - for people to feel that they have tools" - Voila! Sheee

The first scene in the new Netflix series, "Inside" (if you haven't seen it - it's not a spoiler for the rest of the plot but you can skip to the next paragraph), takes place on a moving train, full of passengers, in broad daylight.

All these data do not prevent one of the passengers on the train from sexually harassing - in a very blatant way - one of the passengers sitting in front of him.

Barely 20 seconds pass until another passenger decides to react to the situation, but it feels like an eternity, because that's how it feels in situations like this.

Of course if you're the one being harassed, but also if you're just someone from the sidelines, who notices what's going on and doesn't know if and how to help.

"Is this what I think it is?", "Maybe it's by mistake?", "I need to do something", "But I don't know what to do", "I'm afraid to make a scene", "Maybe it will only embarrass her more" - all the questions These will probably cross the mind of most of us if we witness such a situation (in real life, harassment in the public space is much less explicit),

In fact, data shows that while 78% of women experienced sexual harassment in the public sphere, only 25% of the cases reported help or a response from someone around them.

These data come from a global project called Stand Up - a training program that gives its participants tools to identify sexual harassment in the public space and possible ways of responding, with the aim of reducing the dimensions of the phenomenon and promoting the sense of security we all have in the public space.

These days, in preparation for the International Day for the Prevention of Violence against Women, the project is also being launched in Israel, in cooperation between the L'Oréal Paris company, the Right To Be organization, the Association of Assistance Centers for Victims and Victims of Sexual Assault in Israel and the Tel Aviv Municipality.

On the occasion of the launch of the project, the municipality launched a campaign called "You have a way to respond", in which the actress Niv Sultan is photographed, raising her hand to the camera with the word "Enough!" written on it.

I'm already looking forward to seeing this photogenic position again and again in Story in the next two days, modeled by the best influencers of our country.

Yes, I have a bit of cynicism.

But it's not because I don't think it's an important campaign, but because I'm tired of messages that are presented to me with the seasoning of penetrating looks and excess self-importance, and once again I feel that we're dealing here more with the outward appearance of things than the essence.

Remember October, breast cancer awareness month?

We were told to "go get tested", which is an important and welcome message, but all I remember is the complaints about the fact that no one makes the practical information accessible - what is this test, how is it determined and where is it performed - and even those who already understand how and who to contact find out There are no queues months ahead.

So what do the passwords do for her?

But let's ignore for a moment the campaign that accompanies the current venture and focus on the content itself.

There are people here who remember how they used to say how indifferent people in the US are, and that if something happens to you on the street there you should shout "Fire!" because only then will someone come to help? Maybe it's just me. In any case, it's clear that we want to be a company that provides help For those who need it, it is clear that in the case of sexual harassment, a field that flourished thanks to gray areas and not entirely clear-cut, it is especially important to identify a problematic situation and help those who are or are in it. But this is exactly why it cannot be done on one foot.

Although the program allows anyone who wants to book a one-hour online workshop on the subject, conducted by professionals from the Association of Assistance Centers for Victims and Victims of Sexual Assault, it is assumed that the general public will be content with the second training it offers - a ten-minute video.

The video shows different scenarios of harassment in the public space, and five tools to respond to such situations: distraction, request for help, documentation, direct appeal to the harasser or empathy.

There is also a benefit in this, of course - there are some tools here that can absolutely be a diplomatic and discreet way (for the benefit of the harassed, of course) to help those in trouble.

For example: if you see someone that some creep is too close to on the bus and has nowhere to go or it's obvious that she's embarrassed and doesn't want to make a scene - you can elegantly stand right between them, ask her an innocent question or just pretend that you happened to be standing there because you're getting off in a moment.

So what's my problem with that?

First of all - what happens a moment later.

The video shows us how the responder enters the middle of the situation, but that's also where it ends.

then what?

If I am a woman who wants to protect someone who is being harassed, and intervenes between her and the harasser, I might make myself a target.

If I am a man who addresses a harasser in a public place, he may react violently to me.

And what about the reaction of the harassed or the harassed herself?

Does she need additional escort from me now?

support?

Where does my job end?

I understand that this is a time of Tiktok and highlights, but with such complex and sensitive issues, you still need to go a little deeper, don't you?

In the video, you see different scenarios of harassment in the public space, and five tools to respond (Photo: Courtesy of Tel Aviv-Jaffa Municipality)

We live in an era of jumping to conclusions - I'm not sure how many of you really bother to read this article to the end before you run to express your opinion in the comments.

And that's how everyone who has had one experience in their life becomes a network guru and gives advice to followers without revealing too much responsibility for what they will do with them.

This is what we need now - for people to feel that they "have the tools" to deal with a sexual harassment situation because of a 10-minute video.

And even more so when the current trend is to take the law into one's own hands anyway.

There is a - complex - dealing with a disturbing person, complex conduct!!

- In front of a troubled person who we also have no idea if and what triggers this raises in him, and that's even before we talked, if we were already jumping to conclusions, about false accusations.

I have a friend who once went to bed with a friend on the street, hugged her or tickled her, God knows what, while both of them were laughing out loud, and suddenly a concerned citizen approached his friend and asked if she was okay and if this man was bothering her.

Maybe I'm going too far, but I'm imagining dozens of saviors on their own behalf, that I don't know how they got up in the morning, what their ability to control their anger is and how seriously they really took the video they saw, all I know is that they were trained.

And as mentioned, when people fall in love with their own titles, responsibility flies out the window.

Take another example - the video created by the Municipality of Tel Aviv for the campaign.

It starts with a scene on the bus that you can't help but identify with, and presents a course of action that I'm really glad is now in my awareness, even though it doesn't solve for me the fear that I'll come to the rescue and become a victim of myself.

But the second case in the video, of a girl who works out in a public gym, is already borderline.

A guy comes and shows her how to use the device.

It doesn't seem like he touches her, the video at least doesn't dwell on it, and in my opinion - it can't even be unequivocally defined as an invasion of personal space.

Is it annoying?

of course.

Would I want to burn him for having to intervene and escalate without being asked?

of course.

But is it sexual harassment or is it just dosh?

Should the relationship be the same for both?

As part of the campaign, the Municipality of Tel Aviv claims that "for the first time in Israel, a local authority is launching a campaign to combat sexual harassment in the public sphere."

Even without checking what other municipalities are doing, this is not true, because the Tel Aviv municipality itself has already done such campaigns, and if you ask me, even more useful ones: in 2021 it adopted the "Lila Tov" project, which promoted awareness of harassment in nightlife and kashir - professional training - the staff members of the bars and clubs.

In 2017, she launched the "Don't be this man" campaign, which was also designed to fight harassment in the nightlife, and for a change, focused on the men who carry them out and not on the victims or the people around them.

Why, instead of all the campaigns and slogans, don't they take the money and devote it to real education in the schools?

For real in-depth workshops at any workplace?

For campaigns - not on social networks.

Political campaigns that practically work to make the punishment worse.

Why again, instead of producing tools that create real deterrence, do we concentrate on correcting the behavior of the victims and those around them?

After all, the reason there is so much sexual harassment and far fewer murders, for example, is education and punishment.

No one invests in teaching men from the age of zero that a woman's body is not a public space for their pleasure, and no one discourages them with 10 years in prison for butt rubbing.

Put cameras on buses, increase police patrols, I don't know what.

But what is certain is that it takes more than a 10-minute video and photogenic images to eradicate the phenomenon.

Is this sexual harassment or is it just douche? (Photo: Courtesy of Tel Aviv-Yafo Municipality)

With all these questions and doubts I decided to contact the Tel Aviv municipality and hear how it looks from the side that initiated the campaign.

"Stand-Up is a program that exists in 50 countries in the world," says Ayala Azoulai, deputy director of the Authority for Resilience and Social Equality in the Tel Aviv-Jaffa Municipality, "but everywhere else in the world it is very niche - that is, it focuses on public transportation or certain other elements. We are the first municipality to look at it as a city."

"First of all, all these things are components of a much bigger picture. We understand that violence against women does not happen in a vacuum. Its roots lie in gender inequality and as long as women are not equal to men in the various areas of life, it will be difficult for us to eradicate violence against them. There is There is a direct connection between the two things. The municipality actually took responsibility for this thing and we developed a holistic observation on the promotion of women's personal security, and also in this specific campaign we are really the first municipality to take responsibility for the public space in general."

"First of all, harnessing the public is also a type of action, and Stand-Up is an initiative that is part of a whole set-up. Some of its components, by the way, are to convey the same content in a more in-depth way to our officials: each Sela wing, the urban patrol wing of The Municipality of Tel Aviv-Yafo went through six days of in-depth training and providing tools on the subject. In the end, the campaign you see is out there, there is signage and a video and it is stunning and there is a lot to be said about the place of social responsibility, but it is an additional layer to everything else."

The big picture that Azoulai is talking about is a program called "Equal City", an urban program for gender equality that will be launched on 6/12 after two years of work that included extensive research, public participation and consultation with experts.

Among other things, the program emphasizes increasing women's sense of personal security in all fields and aspects.

"One of the components of an "Equal City" is really the "Lila Tov" initiative that operates in the city and this year also started operating in hotels," she says.

"Another component is the SafeUp application, which also addresses the public sphere and was developed here together with our computer department, and today it has 11,000 users in the city. What do we get from it? First of all, a mutual guarantee between women who support each other, but another thing is that we as a municipality can Through the readings in the application to understand weak points in the city and to address them - to understand if it will help to improve infrastructure there, trim trees, increase lighting or even increase the patrols of Salah."

"As long as women are not equal to men in the various areas of life, it will be difficult for us to eradicate violence against them" (Photo: Courtesy of Tel Aviv-Jaffa Municipality)

And if we return to the current campaign - can such a short video really provide useful tools?

"First of all, it's clear to all of us that you can't fit the entire fight against sexual violence into one video. But the main thing about sexual harassment in the public space is that people are afraid to intervene, and I think the most important thing in the study and in the video is to legitimize the concerns. The idea is to raise awareness and also provide solutions. This is the side of the witnesses to sexual harassment to whom the video addresses. Next to them are the victims, who although the campaign does not touch on it, but we know that one of the most difficult things, in the entire broad spectrum of sexual abuse, is the issue of silence. The lack of intervention. This campaign and the statements in it come to break that silence and make the intervention the standard. In the end, when we look at such social phenomena, we all feel powerless in the face of them. The idea of ​​the campaign is to say that there is something to be done. And the municipality has a responsibility in this matter - it also raises awareness, it also does a very long list of actions And also says that the silence and avoidance cannot continue, that we have to fight it.And because this is a social phenomenon, everyone has a part in this."

"It is very difficult to convey these complex messages, but I believe that both are necessary. This campaign can make quite a few women and men understand in the end the bigger things we are doing, and even they by themselves are not enough because neither Tel Aviv-Jaffa exists in a vacuum I truly believe that when you want to fight a social phenomenon, it always has to happen in several separate tracks. And I will honestly say that we receive dozens of responses from women who tell us about people who intervened and helped them, and how significant it was for them, or from women who expected someone to intervene and it didn't happen. This, for me , says that we have touched a significant point here both for women who have been harassed and for people who stand by and are afraid to intervene. And this is another piece in the puzzle, until the next piece. I do not know of another way to change such significant social phenomena, it is a Sisyphean and long job, but we are encouraged because it is part of the way. Observing the injustices is difficult, but if we don't believe that it is possible to create a safer and better life here for all of us, then what will happen?"

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Tags

• sexual harassment

• Tel Aviv Municipality