ANALYSIS | Why you might be happier if you don't buy anything on Black Friday

You might be happier if you don't buy anything on Black Friday 1:03

(CNN) --

I love finding the perfect gift for a loved one and take joy in making thoughtful personal purchases.

But I hate spending for the sake of spending, especially on manufactured "holidays" like Black Friday.

Decisions about dollars are complicated.

"The consumer dilemma is the idea that the planet clearly needs us to reduce our consumption. But our economy needs us to consume more and more each year," said James MacKinnon, author of "The Day the World Stops Shopping: How Ending Consumerism Saves the Environment and Ourselves".

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The pandemic revealed just how vulnerable our economic system is to any kind of disruption in people's appetite to buy, MacKinnon noted.

"We have created a system that depends on us acting as consumers. It is almost as if it limits our freedoms to choose how we want to live and determines what our social role will be."

There may be financial circumstances that drive a person's need to make purchases on the days of deep sales.

But if you experience the financial freedom that spending allows you, you might even be happier not buying anything on Black Friday.

Here are some realities to consider:

Recognize that biology is at stake

If you're feeling down about compulsive spending habits, you're not alone.

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"One thing about Black Friday that makes it even more pernicious is that shopping can not only release dopamine into the brain's reward pathways, making it potentially addictive, but it also manipulates the social pool of dopamine," he shared. Dr. Anna Lembke, psychiatrist and author of "Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence."

Lembke, who refers to smartphones as today's hypodermic needle that delivers digital dopamine 24/7, noted that when people feel like they belong to a tribe and share experiences and emotions with other people, dopamine is released.

"That feeling of unity or immersion is a great source of dopamine and also serotonin," Lembke said.

She pointed out that these primitive brain circuits can hamper the prefrontal cortex's ability to make rational decisions, such as realizing that you can't afford to spend the money you're spending.

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Buy with intention

If you're looking for a different tribe, there's a pack that believes in intent-based shopping.

I recently asked on Instagram Stories if people were opting out of Black Friday shopping and doing something else instead.

Many people shared that they were choosing different ways to shop this holiday season.

Carolyn Kornwitz of Boston wrote that she opts out of Black Friday and all sale shopping.

"I'm going to get most, if not all, of the gifts for the kids in my local Buy Nothing Facebook group, as well as thrift stores."

Others shared that they were focused on supporting local businesses, independent sellers on Etsy, or putting their maker skills to use.

"My post-pandemic hobby is knitting, so everyone is getting ornate, hand-knitted items!" wrote Anna Brakeman of Madison, Wisconsin.

MacKinnon agreed that not all expenses are created equal.

"There are definitely better and worse ways to consume. Support smaller-scale businesses, particularly those that don't have shareholders to answer to... when you spend your money, spend it in your local community on products that will be meaningful to you or someone else." you're giving them."

Counteract overconsumption with people and experiences

Excessive consumption can result from people trying to escape their circumstances.

It's a tactic that's understandable but ultimately doesn't work, Lembke said.

"A possible antidote is to do the opposite and dive deep into our lives."

"If we really turn our lives around, everything becomes more interesting. When we reinvest in relationships and experiences, we create new energy and new meaning and it becomes transcendent," Lembke said.

In fact, many people shared that they were avoiding Black Friday shopping and opting for connection time in the form of walks with family or friends, playing games, tennis, cycling, or relaxing time at home.

Others shared that they are getting into the holiday spirit through activities like Christmas tree trimming and experiences like "The Nutcracker" at the Kennedy Center in Washington.

"My parents are in town for Thanksgiving this year. We bought tickets for a nature walk/light show at Crystal Bridges, which is an art museum near us," shared Liz Fernandez of Fayetteville, arkansas.

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Think about the lessons of the past year

Evidence of non-consumer holiday satisfaction may come from your own memories.

"Last year it forced us to opt out of the traditional Thanksgiving and this year it made us think about how we really wanted to spend those four days off together," wrote Kaci Lint of Mesa, Arizona.

Since she has five children, Lint has noticed that material items quickly become overwhelming.

This Thanksgiving, her family is intentionally choosing experiences over things by traveling to camp and watch the sunrise over the sand dunes in Utah.

MacKinnon is eager to get people back into the mindset that spending time together is enough and focus on making that time a rich experience.

"Last Christmas everyone wanted to be together; that would have been more than enough," he said.

On the contrary, he pointed out that this season people feel that the company alone is inadequate and they need to present themselves with a lot of gifts.

people are capable of change

One of the most dramatic and surprising observations in the midst of the MacKinnon pandemic was the speed with which people found their way from a value system of consumerism to a new set of values ​​focused on relationships, experiences and the development of skills.

“What we saw when people went into quarantine and lockdown was that they turned to other values ​​very quickly. People reached out to old friends they had lost touch with. They were bird watching, mastering new skills, planting things. it took a matter of days for people to find their way to a new set of values," MacKinnon said.

That said, depending on the circumstances, behavior change may take longer depending on the severity of your addiction, Lembke noted.

"People need to abstain from a behavior long enough for homeostasis to be restored to the pleasure-pain system in the brain. Over time, people may enjoy more modest rewards," she said.

There is considerable work to be done to find the balance of consumerism when it comes to the planet and our economy, but one thing is clear: our relationships, experiences and well-being are things worth investing in.

And you don't have to limit yourself to a day on the calendar or a line around the block to do it.

Editor's Note:

Christine Koh is a former music and brain scientist turned author, podcaster, and creative director.

You can find her work at christinekoh.com and on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at @drchristinekoh.

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