Dear readers, dear parents,
I was supposed to whet through our district with a dozen third-graders this Saturday, drenched in sweat, on a treasure hunt, at a children's birthday party.
At least that's what was planned, but instead of Fassbrause there's now fennel tea.
One of my sons caught a gastrointestinal infection.
My twins turned nine this week.
And, heavens, what exciting days are those when the offspring ages by a year!
Of course, for children anyway.
But also for parents, as we become party planners, wish list managers, Quidditch pitch cake bakers, invitation card creative directors... And sometimes quite exhausted by all this, yes, even overwhelmed.
At least that's what I can say about myself.
(Have you never tried making an Owl Hedwig origami?)
But burying your head in the sand is not an option.
So what to do?
First buy gifts.
The next critical point: the inevitable consumer battle.
We're one of those privileged families who don't get into a financial crisis when the desire for a certain Harry Potter Lego set is huge (the price tag too, by the way) - and we decide to fulfill it.
Not even when two children are yelling »Have!«.
Still, I find myself whipping out the classifieds app to get things—yes, gifts, too.
I'm not so concerned about the price, in the Black Friday undercutting competition, new goods are sometimes cheaper than used anyway.
No, I love the spirit of the secondary market, I think it's good and ecologically valuable when things made of plastic make my children happy, but in a sense weren't made especially for them.
But as my sons get older, I realize that they are not as into vintage as I am, and would rather have their Lego in the sealed original packaging if possible.
more on the subject
Christmas presents: Which children's wishes should be fulfilled - and which not? An interview by Julia Stanek
Do you find it absurd to go shopping for gifts from private individuals?
Or do you like browsing the second-hand market, also to make others (perhaps not just children) happy?
Write to me if you like (to familie@spiegel.de , subject »gifts«) – by the way, there are only four weeks until Christmas.
Almost a year ago, when I asked the Kassel-based developmental psychologist Mirjam Ebersbach which material wishes should be granted to children and which not, we also talked about second-hand gifts: "That's really in line with sustainability and promotes ecological thinking". , said Ebersbach.
»Gifts are a great way to convey values to children – and it’s always worth talking about wishes.«
My reading tips
My colleague Anna Clauss expressed a particularly relevant wish in her parenting column this week: How about Finance Minister Christian Lindner "getting today's grandchildren through the German crèche system so that they don't have a damaged roof when they retire?" The reason for her anger is that »Qualitatively bankrupt child care in Germany«, is what she calls what her son experienced before he started school.
more on the subject
No place, no staff, no money: the neglected generation free day care center A parent column by Anna Clauss
As you read, you learn: more than 150 researchers see the German day-care system on the verge of collapse.
They feared “an acceleration of the downward spiral of quality”.
Day-care centers for children could "return from places of learning and living for children and families to pure storage facilities," warned Professor Klaus Fröhlich-Gildhoff from the Center for Child and Youth Research at the Evangelical University in Freiburg.
And the paediatricians also see that the basic needs of small children cannot be satisfied "under today's conditions in the crèche" and lead to personality development disorders, including "motor restlessness with attention deficits".
more on the subject
Backlog of childcare: half of Germany invests too little in daycare places
Anna's anxious question: "What if a neglected and behavioral disordered 'Generation gratiskita' is growing up?
Wouldn't it be better if we hadn't sent the boy to daycare in the first place?‹« The sad reason for her column was the report from the beginning of the week that half of Germany was investing too little in daycare places.
According to the state development bank KfW, the investment backlog at daycare centers totals 10.5 billion euros nationwide.
I learned what can be special about the day
before
a birthday by reading the current issue of SPIEGEL WISSEN, which covers more than 130 pages of the relationship with our parents.
In one of the many texts worth reading, four people talk about the traditions that have kept their widely scattered families together over the years.
I particularly liked what the 77-year-old Katharina Ludolph reported.
Decades ago, she had begun asking her mother a simple question the day before her birthday: 'How old are you again?' God, I'll never be able to tell how old I am today.
The number is irrevocably over.‹ The fun with the mixing bowl then became a cherished ritual, says Ludolph.
When I asked my twins how old they were on Thursday—at breakfast, after school, and finally before bed—they said, “Eight,” for the last time in their lives, and grinned.
The Last Judgement
Our cooking columnist Verena Lugert presented a recipe this week that is wonderfully suitable for families, partly because you can put together your bowl according to your own taste: »Bibimbap«.
more on the subject
Food for the nerves: Today there is bibimbap
Comes from Korea, means »stir rice« or »mixed rice« in German.
Verena writes: »Everything you can imagine is laid out on a bed of white, hot sushi rice – served like a mini buffet: fine strips of beef or tofu, wonderfully marinated before frying, then namul, like the typical Korean vegetable side dishes in other words: sautéed shiitake mushrooms, spinach with sesame, slivers of slightly sour pickled mini cucumbers, fried carrots with spring onions.«
The nice thing is that there are no restrictions, everything that you currently have in the fridge is allowed in the bibimbap.
The only real must-have when it comes to bibimbap is gochujang, “the hot chili paste that is essential in Korean cuisine”.
But I can reassure you: My sister-in-law grew up wearing her Korean mother's bibimbap.
When I texted her the link to the recipe, my sister-in-law texted me back: "Unfortunately, my mother didn't have gochujang with me when she invited us to bibimbap."
How it is when mothers cook.
my moment
What am I looking forward to this weekend?
To cozy reading with the children.
A little consolation for the postponed birthday party.
I'm probably one of the only three people in the world who have never read "Harry Potter" - and can now discover it together with the children.
I've been envied by people for that.
The actress and award-winning radio play and audio book speaker Anna Thalbach calls such situations in which she reads a text together with the audience for the first time a "fair deal".
"I'm then curious about how the story continues, and I think this feeling is conveyed when reading," Thalbach told my colleague Silke Fokken in an interview about how best to read to children.
We're reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, by the way - did I mention that my kids are fans of what is arguably the most famous wizard's apprentice in the world?
Since we are currently communicating more and more in the form of magic spells at home (»Lumos!« means something like »Please turn on the light!«), it could happen that this weekend I would float to the ceiling with a swinging »Wingardium Liviosa« be banished.
If that bothers me too much, I will heed one of Thalbach's tips and not read an entire chapter of the magician tonight: "A small book or a poem* is also enough if you're tired."
sincerely
Your Julia Stanek
* If anyone has a nice poem for me – or criticism, wishes, suggestions regarding this newsletter – please send me an email to julia.stanek@spiegel.de.