Times change, and not everything that was once accepted is relevant today.
This is true for political correctness, mi-to, flicks in the tusk that we received as children from our parents and were considered a proper educational act, and also verbal communication with others, which used to be more relaxed.
It used to be perfectly reasonable to say to someone on the road, "Who gave you a license?" as part of your dissatisfaction with their driving and with a half smile, and it would probably have been met with a surprised face and perhaps also with the score of the driving examiner who passed it on the test.
If someone cut you off on the road, you could tell them "Oh, sorry, there's a line" or "Tell me, are you normal?"
A sentence that today has to be not really normal to say it, simply because it might bring you closer to your death, or at least to an unfriendly meeting between your head and the other driver's head.
Maybe it's always been this way, and the only difference is that now everyone has a camera that records the violent event, and on TV there are a lot of programs that would be happy to broadcast the daily fight, it brings ratings and is much cheaper than original production.
Except that only Tarantino knows how to direct scenes with so much blood, and right now he is more interested in spending time with his child in all kinds of gymboree complexes around Tel Aviv.
But it could be that personal security really isn't what it used to be, and that it's simply becoming dangerous to live here.
I admit that I miss the days when Hana Babli taught us manners and manners on the radio, and even the trackers debated her in the immortal skit on the crucial issue: who should say hello first, the one who goes up or the one who goes down?
These days we are more concerned with who will stab first: the one who passes by on a motorcycle and has a knife in his pocket and a pit bull at home, or the school student whose principal doesn't like him?
Sending your children to learn table manners in Switzerland may be less relevant nowadays, but the reasonable person does have to adapt to the new standards and prepare for the next encounter with the Israeli reality.
Beyond the fact that each of us should have a will ready in some drawer in case someone decides to slap a helmet on him, it's worth preparing in more layers.
Think how strange it is that even in the television broadcasts on behalf of the state they try to politely explain to us that if someone overtakes you in line, you do not have to immediately hit him, and it is recommended to check first if he does not have an exemption from queuing.
As someone who has been locking the car from the inside for the past month to be safe, and a coward in general, I am proud to submit to you with bowed head the complete guide for careful behavior in the Israeli reality of 2022. Cut out and keep on the refrigerator, although it is desirable to also have copies in the glove compartment of the car, next to the identity card and cash register card patients.
1. The tone of voice: It is important that when you come to talk to strangers, it will be clear to them from your tone of voice that you have no criticism, aggression, judgment or resistance to being a sucker.
Of course, it is better not to speak at all, but if you have already said something, it is better for the beast that came to hit you to hear a conciliatory, soft, frightened and condescending tone from your direction, which will make him understand that you were talking to yourself and blaming yourself for the fact that he drove in the opposite direction and rammed into you at 140 km/h.
Another option is to learn a few sentences in a foreign language, let's say Swedish, in the hope that the thought of a tourist standing in front of you will make the other driver think twice before attacking you with a hammer - or at least consider your origin and settle for attacking with a Swedish key.
2. Text: If some large, barbaric creature approaches the window of your car with a threatening look with a knife, ax or gun, you would do well to prepare a remedy for a blow to the head - open a small crack in the window of your locked door, hand him a screwdriver and say: "Could you please do me a favor and pry Do I have the tires? It seems to me that this is what a person like me deserves."
If the guy didn't get the message, get out of the car and puncture your car tires yourself while saying "Trust me, I'm not worth the effort, that's why I'm doing it myself."
If you are plotting a parking lot and have been waiting ten minutes for someone to get out of it, and suddenly a third party barges in and takes the parking lot from under your nose, during a phone call in which he informs his wife that he is going to buy crackers - it is recommended not to fight the intruder but to say "It's fine, I'm just waiting here My fun" or "I think it's appropriate that a citizen like you, who is probably in a hurry to take care of the needy, should enjoy this parking, and not me who just goes to the movie."
It is important that the verbal relationship with the person who killed you be clear and understandable, and that there is no awkwardness in conveying the messages, a completely possible issue when one side tries to apologize and the other concentrates on the descriptions of what violent acts he aims to perform on him.
That's why you should prepare ahead of time written signs in three languages - including pictures, in case he doesn't really know how to read in any language - of your choice, on which it is written clearly and in short sentences: "I'm an idiot.
Accept my apology.
It seems to me like a reasonable solution if you break my mirror.'
If you are a member of the medical staff at a hospital, who feels threatened by a family member of a patient who is unhappy that he has to wait, or from the view in his hospital room - you can choose one of two things: or explain to the idiot to wait patiently, you have different professional priorities and levels of urgency - and then probably You will turn in minutes from a doctor to a patient in the limb injuries department;
Or you can say to the heat of the brain - "Yes, sir, I am leaving all my occupations as a senior surgeon/ophthalmologist/orthopedic/x-ray technician, and tell the woman who came here without a pulse to wait patiently, because I have to take care of your brother who was cut by shaving and needs a plaster."
Even if you're just going down to empty the trash or moving the car in your building's parking lot, it's a good idea to leave the house with a bulletproof vest, a motorcycle helmet, cyclist's knee pads, and a boxer's mouth guard.
The fist can surprise you anywhere, and you should take all possible protective measures.
On second thought, maybe it would be better to equip yourself with a suit of Amudaim or the armor of a medieval knight.
You may have gone on vacation in Eilat, paid an exorbitant price and sat down with your wife by the pool, while trying to read a newspaper or a book for pleasure, while the family next to you brought a karaoke system and a small grill, the father of the family smokes on you with more smoke than the grill produces, and their children play taka while you are in the middle .
In that case you can of course warn them, but keep in mind that you will have to cancel the continuation of the schedule for that day in order to undergo surgery at Yoseftal Hospital in Eilat to remove the leg of a plastic crown chair from the back. ?" and will mean the skewer that met your forehead. A more recommended option is to ask the new neighbors to turn up the music, to suggest that you bring some kebabs from the room that you don't need, and also a large ashtray from the lobby to put out the cigarettes instead of inside the pool.
If you are a teacher at a school and the student Liron is foul-mouthed, spits on the floor and threatens his classmate with a knife, on other days it was acceptable to take him out of the class and invite him and his parents to inquire with the school principal.
Today it is more advisable to tell Liron that he is completely right, and that his friend honestly earned the punch because he insulted him by getting a score 60 points higher than him on the test.
Any other option will end up with your car being hospitalized in the garage at best, or you will have an anatomy class in the emergency room after Liron's father arrives at school and demonstrates the well-known saying: the darkness of his tribe hates his teacher.
yairn@israelhayom.co.il
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