Sharona Marlin, a member of the successful matchmaking reality show "Love at First Sight" in which she participated in its second season, decided to share a difficult and traumatic experience she went through.
After three months, she lost her fetus that she was carrying in her womb.
"We debated a lot whether to share this post," she began her words that she shared today (Thursday) with her followers on Instagram, which must have been difficult to share.
"Now or if at all. We finally agreed that I would keep my word and share here even the less rosy moments...
"So after wars with myself and fearing thoughts of 'they will pity me' or try to comfort me, I decided to share what many women go through but are mostly silent (and rightfully so)," she prefaced her words.
"If we talk about colors, the last year for me was painted in gray and pink, ups and downs when in all the whirlwinds we went through I was waiting for me to reach the shore of the insurers and be able to share," she described what she has been through in recent months.
"It's just that two weeks ago, everything was colored between a black moment. From the happiest moment in my life when I was ready to tell the world that I was on my way to becoming a mother, I was informed that our fetus was bleeding. At that moment our world was bleeding. How could someone who a moment ago lived inside me for 3 months and was once strong, die in one second?
Beyond the physical pain (the likes of which Satan did not create), it was overcome by the heartache you have not felt since I lost my father.
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A post shared by Sharona Merlin (@sharonamerlin)
"My fear of loss strikes again and this time from within me," she shared in chilling and sad words.
"Again existential questions, guilt, pain, fear and failure, accompanied by endless crying. Then the calm after the storm. Today I can truly understand what a woman's strength is.
"Those who have experienced loss know that, as in death, there is no way to console or what to say," she continued.
"Because no, not everything is for the better and no, it doesn't have to happen for something better to come. And no, I don't always have to be strong and that's really okay," she wrote openly.
"But yes, it will pass and along with the pain that will fade with time (but will not be forgotten...) will come that will fill me up again. Until then, I just want them to understand why in the last year I have distanced myself a bit, I have talked or shared less, I have not been able to accommodate the closest people To me as always.
"But mostly," Merlin wanted to point out, "that they knew how to contain what I will probably go through in the near future. I will apologize in advance and say sorry, it has nothing to do with anyone, this is me right now and it will pass. And if we have already opened up, I want to say thank you to a small being who filled us with happiness For almost 3 months, she connected us, strengthened us and made us invincible.
"I want to ask my body for forgiveness for what I had to go through in the last year in the hope that it will never have to go through it again and in the same breath to tell it that I am sorry for not being able to keep what was so precious to us.
It's not your fault," she smoothed over the complex situation.
"But most of all, I want to say how much I love my amazing husband who never left my side. He took care of me and wrapped me in warmth and endless love that got me back on my feet very quickly. Our perfect and caring family, the amazing friends who are always there for me and the rare professional staff that cares Built with dedication, care and personal attention.
"Although the uncertainty will probably continue to resonate with me and I don't know what a day will bring, I am optimistic and confident that my turn will come, simply at the right time. That's it, I'm done grieving. I'm ready for a new path, to make room for the next chapter," she signed the painful and emotional post.
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