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Typical of brothers: rivalry and jealousy between William and Henry of England

2022-12-21T13:00:00.056Z


The competition is very normal, but in the case of the sons of Carlos III this is aggravated because the youngest will always be, literally, the dethroned prince and the eternal second son, the one on the bench, the one who waits in case the other fails


The English royal family has always been a great source of headlines for as long as the press has existed.

Phenomena such as Lady Di or Elizabeth II herself have generated immense expectation and guaranteed readings.

The aura of mystery that they have always given off is motivated to a large extent because it is also known that they are normal people who have their feelings, jealousy, envy, love and heartbreak, frustrations and everything that surrounds the life of any human being.

It is not the first time that the English monarchy has been in the spotlight, nor is it the only time that two brothers are at odds, but something does happen that is different from previous times: the press is now more dynamic and they are social networks, but, above all, what differentiates this occasion from the previous ones is the documentary that Enrique and Meghan have recorded and that has been broadcast worldwide with nearly 90 million people who have already seen it.

Resentment, jealousy, rivalry, reproaches... the series shows the truth of the couple's feelings and reveals something that was known, but not so crudely: Enrique's jealousy towards his older brother Guillermo.

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How to handle sibling fights

“Sibling rivalry is a natural process,” explains Lucía Torres, a psychologist and psychiatrist and an expert on adolescence.

According to the expert, this provides a scenario in which the child begins to rehearse how he is going to develop in the world and what place he is going to occupy in it: "The relationships of adolescence begin to take shape in childhood and, it depends on how this process has been elaborated (or denied, judged or repressed) will depend on the type of relationship that the adolescent maintains, not only with his brother, but even with many of his equals”.

The firstborn will feel jealousy and hostility towards the newly arrived baby, although sometimes he does not show it.

“They are normal feelings that the child will be able to integrate if she is given to understand in her environment that they are allowed feelings.

It is possible that the eldest son wonders why his parents wanted to bring another child with questions such as: Was I not enough for them as a son?, or that they fear that the new member of the family will occupy a more relevant place than his”, explains Torres.

According to the expert, these feelings coexist with expectation, curiosity, affection and affection towards the new little brother, and this mixture of feelings is what turns the relationship between siblings into a privileged space to grow and mature as a person: "In addition ,

And how do parents get the message across that jealousy is okay?

For the psychology expert, when faced with such frequent questions from children as: "Can we return the little sister to the hospital?";

The best thing is: “You have to give real answers, such as that we can't return it because we love it as much as we love him and that we wouldn't leave him there either.

Instead of recriminating him, saying things like: 'how can you say that or you can't even think of that'.

The truth makes them understand that they can talk about the internal process that they are waging and that they are as loved as their equals”.

There is never a lack of reason to jealously observe the relations of parents with siblings, no matter what place they occupy in the siblings.

“In the case of the firstborn, there is the fear that the parents will love the little one more because he is the one who needs the most protection.

And the little one is afraid that the parents will love the older one more because he is the one who shows the most skill in everything, ”explains Mercedes Gil, pedagogue and director of the British Montessori school.

When the child enters adolescence and finds himself once again in a scenario of change and uncertainty regarding her place in society, jealousy and insecurities may rise again towards her peers.

However, "if the adolescent is capable of understanding that they are legitimate emotions and that they can be elaborated without acting harmfully,

“When Lady Di died, her sons Enrique and Guillermo were 12 and 15 years old respectively.

Both have all the elements that favor sibling rivalry: they are of the same sex, they are less than five years apart, and they live in a family environment where competitiveness is a value (starting with the line of succession to the Crown).

In royal families, the dethroned princes are literally dethroned”, argues Gil.

From an evolutionary point of view, jealousy between siblings is quite normal.

"When a brother is born, a fight for resources and attention instinctively begins, a competition for which rivalry and fights between them will be inevitable, being part of the development process," explains Gil.

For the expert, the objective of fathers and mothers is to see how this situation can be made manageable: "If they have the tools to manage it, I would recommend going to a specialist, in order to avoid conflicts that, if they become entrenched in childhood, can anticipate a horrendous adolescence and adult struggles as in the case of the British royal family”.

Parents must be aware that each child, each person, has specific needs at a certain time: “The order of birth and one's own personality can influence all of this.

But also of the circumstances and the moment of development of the individual”.

For Gil, a six-year-old cannot be treated the same as a 12-year-old. “It seems obvious, but parents can often get confused by trying to treat all children equally.

Fair does not mean equitable.

It is necessary to observe, take into account the needs, and appreciate their talents and unique characteristics, to treat them fairly," says the expert.

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Source: elparis

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