Why it is important to teach children to be supportive all year long and not just at Christmas

It is necessary not to leave aside the emotional part of the children and educate accordingly.

As Carlos Javier González Serrano, professor of Philosophy and Psychology and counselor in the Baccalaureate stage, defends, talking about Christmas values, from a philosophical and sociological point of view, implies a limitation: "Traditionally, Christmas has been understood as a period in which solidarity, generosity, affability or warmth should prevail over other values ​​such as greed, voracious consumerism, envy or malice”.

González Serrano, also a writer, communication consultant and director of the podcast

it is then questioned what happens with the rest of the year.

The expert indicates that those values ​​that are being talked about are independent of specific dates, events or social circumstances and that Christmas and its context could be used to deal with children about the existence of these convictions and think about them with them: "A good gift to our children and students during these dates can be to foster their critical sense.

Transmitting values ​​is more effective by example.

There is a quote from the thinker Henry David Thoreau, writer and philosopher, that I usually remember a lot when I talk to parents in tutorials or in conversations with adults: 'If you want to persuade someone that they do wrong, act well.

Human beings believe what they see.

Let's get them to see

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González Serrano, regarding the enjoyment of the child at Christmas time, explains that minors from the age of four have to know the family situation, but what is not recommended is to transfer obligations and concerns that do not correspond to them: "At home it is appropriate talk to children about the reality of the world, that is, explain to them that to obtain goods of any kind it is necessary to have financial means and that we cannot have such means at will, but rather they depend on our work and employment situation ”.

It is also necessary, as he continues, to speak with them sincerely and naturally and prepare them to overcome situations with effort and not make them believe that they can achieve everything they set their minds to.

This writer argues that one must work on the delay of satisfaction and the construction of desire and it is not so easy to speak for or against materialism, but the important thing is to discern what is needed and what is not.

Thus, for González Serrano, it is a priority to teach them from an early age to examine where there is will or where the influence of others is: “Minors have little impulse control, so they need something or someone who, from the outside, indicates certain limits.

Accustoming them to a short period of time between the appearance of the desire and its satisfaction generates emotionally dependent adults who, if this is not quickly covered, suffer, despair and disappointment appear”.

The true gift is the concern for the other

“Regarding generosity and gifts, we should show our children that what is material is not what is significant, but rather the act of giving, according to their tastes and needs.

We should teach that generosity has more to do with concern for the other than with what is given”, continues this expert.

The same happens with solidarity, which should not be associated with feelings of pity or compassion, because it should not be a purely passive act —I feel sorry for myself, so I show solidarity or what a pity it gives me—, but rather, an active one —I decide to give my money, food or goods of any kind to a cause because I consider it necessary, fair, good or beautiful.

Buenaventura del Charco, health psychologist, university professor and author of

he maintains that families are made up of fewer members and, in a certain sense, family sharing and gatherings have been lost, even more so on Christmas dates: "Given the blurring of the warmest component of These dates, consumerism has acquired greater prominence, partly also because this reduction in children in families means that they receive more attention that can lead them to feel overwhelmed by so many gifts and hardly know how to take care of themselves.

In the words of the expert, it seems that there has always been a certain pressure to show happiness at this time of year, and he understands that some repression or blaming of those who do not experience it may be attached.

“It becomes very difficult for those who are going through a bad time to allow themselves to feel sadness, anger or anxiety.

This, together with the fact that absences or breakups can be more pressing at Christmas, often leaves a bittersweet taste in the celebrations”, argues Del Charco.

"It may seem that children are oblivious to these dynamics, but these days when you walk to see the Christmas lighting and organize more activities, it is very evident that the grandfather is no longer there, the separation of the parents and similar situations that are often covered up with a "don't be sad because it's Christmas" or they censor themselves with expressions of anger such as "the Three Wise Men are not going to bring you gifts" that make it difficult to manage emotions.

It is pertinent to let them be and foster in them the joys and excitement of these dates, but without imposing certain emotional states on them”, asserts this author.

All cultures create dates around a narrative that tries to convey a series of ideals and principles.

Del Charco assures that this leads to inconsistencies, which is why some discourses must be made more flexible, such as that tolerance and generosity not only happen at Christmas: "Everyone must be honest about the value they want to give to this stage of the year and not feel in the obligation of having to commune with a Christmas spirit that we do not want or with which, deep down, we do not get along, because, as the philosopher Watzlawick rightly pointed out: 'All conduct has a message value'.

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