Five years of marriage for everyone - Peter Priller takes stock: "Isarwinkler just as open as Munich"

Created: 12/28/2022, 6:30 am

By: Felicitas Bogner

A particularly impressive marriage for Peter Priller (right) was the wedding of the couple Rudi and Bernhard on August 20, 2022 in the old Catholic castle church of Mirabell Palace in Salzburg.

© private

Five years of marriage for everyone: The old Catholic pastor and chairman of the association "Schutz", Peter Priller, speaks in an interview with Merkur about the development of marriage.

Bad Tölz

– Five years ago, “marriage for all” replaced the registered civil partnership model in Germany.

Since autumn 2017, homosexual couples have also been able to get married.

And without any compromises.

What is taken for granted today was long disputed.

Since that milestone, over 65,000 gay and lesbian couples have tied the knot.

And a lot has happened since the small revolution in family law.

Peter Priller (61) is pastor of the Old Catholic branch parish of Bad Tölz.

In his office he has already celebrated numerous church blessings and later also marriages of same-sex couples.

In addition, as chairman of the Schutz association - a group of gays and lesbians in the Oberland for the interests of homosexuals in the country - he has insight into the scene.

Mr Priller, since 2017 there have no longer been any legal differences for homosexuals when it comes to marriage.

What is the situation in the Old Catholic Church?

With the introduction of same-sex civil partnerships, there was a desire for us to receive an official blessing as a couple.

We did that and were even the first ecumenical churches to publish a ritual for it.

Then came state marriage for all.

The 2021 Synod decided that no differences should be made between same-sex and opposite-sex marriages, neither in canon law nor in liturgy.

That's right, because there is no difference.

Some counter-argument that gay couples can't have children, but neither can two 60-year-old heterosexuals who get married.

"Marriage for everyone" has been around since autumn 2017

The Roman Catholic pastor Schiessler tries to use middle ground, such as the blessing of the rings, to advocate for homosexual couples ...

Several are doing it now.

But it is the maximum that a Roman Catholic priest can take in this regard.

It's a good time for this right now.

This church is currently avoiding further scandals.

That's why they don't say anything about it.

So far, however, one has waited in vain for an official paradigm shift in the Roman Catholic Church.

I fear it will never come.

Was there a rush of couples wanting same-sex marriage in 2017?

In my circle of acquaintances, many immediately upgraded their civil partnership to marriage.

That only has advantages.

From then on it went on quite steadily.

You lived in a civil partnership until the death of your partner.

Did that feel like a second class marriage?

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Our implementation does not.

But the idea had something to do with discrimination.

At the beginning of the possibility of entering into a civil partnership, it was legally only associated with obligations.

In what way?

In the first phase of registered civil partnerships, there was an obligation to assume custody, but hardly any rights – apart from the right to visit the hospital.

When it came to inheritance, you were treated as if you were not related.

Another disadvantage was that you were forced to reveal your sexual orientation along with your marital status.

If you get married now, that's no longer the case.

That was crazy.

There was no spouse splitting for us, so no tax advantages.

There was no allowance for inheritance tax and so on.

The disadvantages have diminished over time.

They fought their way through until in the end only the right to adopt was left.

Having children is an important issue when getting married

Are more same-sex male or female couples getting married?

I can only speak for myself.

There are more men there.

But that's because many lesbian couples would rather have a female pastor.

Do same-sex couples marry for other reasons?

Having children is a big topic.

Even though it's not so blatantly rare socially anymore to have a child without marriage, I think that the idea of ​​becoming a family when you have children plays a bigger role for heterosexuals.

Since the right to adopt also applies to homosexuals, this is certainly a decisive reason for those who marry and are still young enough to adopt.

How has marriage changed in recent years?

A trend that one notices – regardless of sexual orientation – is the changing of the marriage promise.

Many no longer want to promise themselves the statement "... until death do us part".

But a change to "I will love, respect and honor you, all the days of my life".

Because that sounds more positive?

no

It's more realistic.

I can still love, respect and honor someone after the marriage has broken up.

It's more honest.

I recommend this to many couples.

95 percent accept it.

You can find more current news from the region around Bad Tölz at Merkur.de/Bad Tölz.

Has anything changed, especially in same-sex marriages?

Even in conservative circles, these weddings are viewed as normal marriages by families.

There is nothing more embarrassing and I no longer have to rewrite anything for family peace at the wedding.

What is different when you are married?

At best, nothing (laughs).

No more big differences in tolerance between population in the city and in the country

Has anything changed in the homosexual scene since then?

Absolutely.

In return, the scene has become bourgeois.

Compared to the pioneers of the homosexual movement in the 1968s.

For them, getting married was almost stuffy.

Until

That took longer.

In the 1970s you didn't go to jail, but being gay wasn't socially accepted for a long time.

Where are there still adjustment screws that need to be turned to achieve complete equality?

The average person takes it easy.

But there are very conservative circles who reject or even demonize it.

The Roman Catholic Church could do something here.

If she changes her stance on this, things would change in strictly religious circles.

You work for the Aids organization in Munich, but live in Bad Tölz.

Is there a city-country difference in this regard?

Not big.

But you can tell that homosexuals in the city take their relationship or marriage more naturally.

I know many people here who feel reluctant to talk openly about “my husband” or to hold hands on the street.

Basically, I would say that the image that many have of the "conservative homophobic country" or the "stuffy homophobic small town" is based on prejudice.

I find most of the Isarwinklers just as open and relaxed as most of Munich.

The interview was conducted by Felicitas Bogner.

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