"I look forward to having sex (love), but I don't want to force it." Private model Amber has several regular sexual partners. In the eyes of others, she is open and outspoken, but it does not mean that she "anyone can do it" in sexual matters ".
She was once forced to perform oral sex by a male friend. Every time she recalled it, it was an injury, which indirectly made her understand "sexual violence" and "bodily autonomy".
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The Anti480 Anti-Sexual Violence Resource Center earlier held a workshop titled "Unlocking My Body and Soul "Guarding My Sweet Body" around the issues of "Sexual Violence" and "Body Autonomy". Amber shared her past experience as a "real library" .
She realized her "body autonomy" for the first time when she was diagnosed with psoriasis commonly known as "psoriasis" in 2019.
Amber was affected by emotions at the time, and her skin appeared red and swollen plaques and silvery white scales.
However, she ignored the gazes of the people around her, and dressed as usual in summer, revealing a different skin from others.
However, at that time, her boyfriend said "I don't think you are suitable for living", which shocked her greatly.
"I don't think it's a problem, what kind of shirt I wear is none of your business!" Amber felt at the time that the gossip and opinions of friends around her were all annoying.
Although the friend wanted to express her concern, she would only reply, "Actually, I have none of your business." She believed that body autonomy meant that she could make decisions about her own body.
It means that every time I want to force a blowjob experience, it is a secondary injury
One of Amber's sexual partners was originally a friend with her, but the beginning of the story of developing into a sexual partner is not as good as imagined.
One day, she was invited to dinner at the man's friend's house. Before that, Amber had already told her friend, "I won't take off my shirt tonight."
The two drank, smoked, and chatted after the meal. After a while, Amber gradually fell asleep and fell asleep lying on the sofa.
Seeing this, the male friend took the initiative to propose to her to "sleep with you".
After she went to sleep in the room, her male friend "loved her" during the period. When she was vague, Amber was pressed on the head to perform oral sex for the other party.
At the time, Amber was under the influence of alcohol and could not tell whether her friend's behavior towards her was reasonable or sexual violence.
She recalled her feelings at the time and said, "I will look forward to having sex (love), but it's not about being forced to do it reluctantly."
Amber then came into contact with the Anti480 Anti-Sexual Violence Resource Center and learned about the definition of sexual violence. Only then did she realize that she was being treated unwillingly, and frankly said that every time she thinks about this experience, it is a second injury.
The male friend continued to take the initiative to seek her out, but every time they had sex, it was done without her full consent, which made Amber feel that this sexual relationship did not respect her. "I have expectations for him, but ( Finally) get hurt."
Amber, a private model, shared her past experiences in the "Unlock" workshop, which protects my sweet body, as a "real person library".
(Photo by Chen Baolin)
Amber pointed out that the other party is older than her, and there is a big gap between the two in social experience. In addition, he has his own place, and the unequal power between the two is believed to be one of the factors that caused the sexual violence.
Survey shows that 80% of offenders and victims know each other
Amber used to work as a nude art model, and her works were stolen by foreign groups and widely circulated. Afterwards, she was blamed for "you offended your ex" and "you pre-arranged when you showed up", which made her very moved Uncomfortable, frankly it took a long time of self-healing before I could get out of the haze and seek help, and only after the wound was cushioned could I confess myself to others.
Yulan, the Sexual Violence Crisis Center's "Yuelan Case Retrospective Research Report 2000-2018", pointed out that more than 80% of the offenders were acquainted with the victim, including relatives, partners, friends, and colleagues.
Calculated from the number of days between the occurrence of the case and the receipt of the case by Yulan, the victims delayed seeking help from Yulan on average by 1,389 days (about 3.8 years), and more than 10% of the victims delayed for 10 years or more. The delay in the most serious case was as long as 58 years.
Victims under the age of 16 delayed on average 4,814 days (about 13.2 years) before seeking help from Rain Orchid.
You really need to have a good understanding of your mentality and your own appearance, so that you can achieve (body) autonomy first.
What do you think of your own negotiation, that is, you face different directions and standards in society.
How you decide on some values is up to you to read, that is, how to decide whether you will have the so-called autonomy of the body.
For example, plastic surgery is actually related to his own attitude, which is related to him.
Private film model Amber
Yin Zhihao, senior education director of the Anti480 Anti-Sexual Violence Resource Center, said that sexual violence has a great relationship with social culture. Victims of sexual violence may find it difficult to seek help after an accident or due to social concerns. Some manipulation of women's bodies, and some gender unequal statements, such as victim blaming, "stinky chicken" comments, etc., are also very targeted. These are very shaming (shaming) and Some manipulation of women's bodies, in turn, creates an element that encourages sexual violence."
It wasn't until she learned the definition of sexual violence that Amber realized she was suffering from unwanted treatment.
(Photo by Chen Baolin)
Since the anti-sexual assault movement "#MeToo" swept the world in 2008, the center began to vigorously promote "sexual consent education". Yin Zhihao said that the society's definition of "consent" is very vague, and girls are often regarded as Being willing to go to your own house means implying that you can have sex, but you have never found out whether the other party agrees to have sex.
And the people around them often put pressure on their own labels, making the parties unable to control their body autonomy.
We do not encourage such wildness.
Because in fact, you seem to control your body tightly. How should it do it to meet your standards?
But what we want to bring out is that each of us has our own standards, because the body belongs to you, and it should not be someone else's decision.
Yin Zhihao, Senior Education Director of Anti480 Anti-Sexual Violence Resource Center
In the first half of the year, there were 689 sexual violence cases, a new high in 12 years. Rape cases accounted for 14% last year. The most cases were...Sexual Violence Exhibition│Wooden boxes are like coffins, and Baby's breath is placed in the venue: Survivors want to breathe again. BBC documentary exposes UN sexual violence scandal Invite female employees, violate vulnerable women and girls Netflix Jinjizhiguo 2｜Tao Tsuchiya plays a rape scene with mandarin ducks playing in the water to steal the spotlight｜Introduction of the female character IG introduces the restaurant manager who breaks into the neighbor's house and begs the female resident to wear a camisole and let him have sex once 54-year-old Chen Baoyuan raped Michelle Ye with attempted rape
