Relationship Counselor Warns: Five Things That Can Hugely Damage a Relationship

Created: 12/30/2022, 8:30 p.m

By: Judith Brown

If you pay attention to a few things in a relationship, you can lead a healthy and happy partnership.

A relationship coach gives tips.

Relationships aren't always easy.

After the first phase of falling in love, both partners usually take off their rose-colored glasses.

Then it often becomes clear quickly whether it can actually work for two or not.

However, as psychologists have found, couples are said to be the most unhappy after ten years of relationship.

However, arguments and conflicts are part of every good relationship and, according to experts, can also be opportunities.

However, what can damage a relationship or even destroy it is explained by relationship advisor Dr.

Matt Townsend on his Tiktok channel.

From his conversations with couples he's had over the past 25 years, he's compiled the five things not to do in a good relationship.

Don't let your smartphone distract you when you're sitting on the sofa with your partner, advises a relationship coach.

Because distraction is one of the things that can damage a partnership.

© Fro do ric Cirou/IMAGO

Relationship: Five things couples should stop doing

A relationship doesn't even have to be toxic, but there are some things couples shouldn't do or should stop doing.

From his many years of experience as a relationship coach, Townsend knows what makes a good relationship.

That's why he not only advises his followers on Tiktok to avoid the following things:

• 1. Stop distracting yourself

  : You sit on the sofa next to the most important person in your life and let yourself be distracted with your smartphone, for example, explains the relationship coach.

  For a good partnership, this is a bad habit that can also have a negative impact on the relationship with the partner.

• 2. Don't compare your partnership to other relationships

  : "I promise you, after sitting with a thousand different couples, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship," Townsend explains in his video.

  He therefore advises against looking at other partnerships.

  It is probably better to focus on your own relationship and to work on it if you have problems or conflicts.

• 3. Don't ignore your mental or psychological problems

  : For example, if you suffer from anxiety or depression, the relationship coach believes that you should work on or do something about these problems instead of ignoring them.

  "So that problems don't destroy our relationships that we can do something about," Townsend said.

• 4. Don't fall into old conflict patterns

  : “Can you remember something you've fought for years, in the exact same way?

  It won't work," says the relationship guide.

  Instead, he advises finding another way to resolve conflicts and disputes.

  If you can't find a way out, you should get additional support from books and podcasts or professional help from a coach.

• 5. Don't sleep in separate beds

  : According to the relationship guide, giving couples time to cuddle or talk has a huge impact on the relationship.

  That's why he advises against sleeping in separate beds.

  "Just doing this ritual gives you more time to connect and be together."

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Relationship: When two people argue - rules of communication can help

For a partnership, communication is probably the key to happiness and therefore elementary.

The culture of communication is crucial, especially in conflict situations.

Because how couples communicate with each other also determines whether disputes escalate or derail.

That's why it's helpful to stick to some communication rules during the argument.

For example, speak in "I-messages" and reveal your needs without hurting the other person.

In addition, they should not use the past as a weapon and should not make assumptions.

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This article only contains general information on the respective health topic and is therefore not intended for self-diagnosis, treatment or medication.

In no way does it replace a visit to the doctor.

Unfortunately, our editors are not allowed to answer individual questions about clinical pictures.