The father is dead, the allegations remain

Created: 01/07/2023Updated: 01/07/2023 08:23

By: Hans Moritz

When only friendship remains from love.

A 43-year-old could not cope with the impending end of his marriage - with dramatic consequences.

© Patrick Pleul/dpa

It is always a tragedy when the father of a family with young children suddenly dies.

But if dad has chosen suicide, it increases the suffering even more.

Because accusations come with grief – also from outside.

There is now such a case in the district of Erding.

Erding - Suicide is still a taboo subject in our society.

Significantly more people die in this way than, for example, in traffic accidents.

Claudia Priller's family is currently experiencing this martyrdom with their children Sebastian (6) and Lena (14/all names have been changed by the editors).

Erding: Family father takes his own life - grief and financial worries for the wife and children

On November 13 last year, Simon Priller took his own life at the age of 43.

The 41-year-old widow and her two children are now plagued by more than grief, plus financial worries.

The readers' aid organization Licht in die Herzen would like to support the family at least with donations from the readers of our newspaper.

Claudia and Simon Priller, who live in a small community in the Erding district, were together for 17 years and have known each other for much longer.

But the 41-year-old admits “that at some point I realized that marriage wasn’t going to work out.

For me, love has turned into deep friendship”.

The couple separated, the dad moved to the neighboring community.

But the family stuck together.

"It was not a separation in dispute, we always did things together.

The children liked being with their father,” says Claudia.

To this day she never says a bad word about her deceased husband.

Marriage-off with Simon and Claudia - previous suicide attempt

That's why the Prillers decided to go on vacation together again in the summer.

“Perhaps my husband has hoped that he could still save the marriage.

He really wanted her,” says Claudia.

But that wasn't an option for her - "and I always told him that honestly".

However, the welfare of the children was paramount.

Both agreed on that.

But Simon couldn't get over the impending end of the marriage.

He must have broken inside.

Claudia reports that he had tried to take his own life before.

This was shortly after their decision to separate.

At that time he could be found and rescued in time.

The 43-year-old went to the psychiatric ward in Taufkirchen.

After the treatment, he turned to a couples therapist on his own initiative.

"He would not be dissuaded from wanting to save the marriage," says the widow.

He was always there for others - "You could call him in the middle of the night"

The 41-year-old describes her husband as someone “who was always there for others.

You could call him in the middle of the night."

He never made a fuss about himself.

Maybe that's why it was so difficult for those around him to see behind his facade.

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My space

On November 13, Simon Priller wrote a WhatsApp to his wife and friends.

The latter immediately read the message and alerted the police.

But this time it was too late, the 43-year-old was dead.

Claudia thought of her children first.

She quickly drove her son to a children's birthday party in the neighborhood.

At least he didn't see the tragedy that had just happened.

Death of family father: "When the police came to the door, I knew immediately what had happened"

"When the police were at the door, I knew immediately what had happened," the mother recalls.

“They were still very young officials.

I actually felt sorry for them, because it must have been the first time for them that they had to deliver news of a death.”

Sebastian did not attend the funeral, which was attended by many of Simon's friends.

"It would have overwhelmed him.

He said goodbye to his dad beforehand," says Claudia.

At his own request, the six-year-old went to his friends in the sheltered environment of his kindergarten.

Like the mother, the 14-year-old daughter is still a long way from overcoming her father's death.

"Sometimes she's sad, sometimes angry." It wasn't that easy to find professional help for the children and for yourself.

"There is simply not enough and there are too many who need help."

Christmas was particularly bad, the first without dad.

"We got the gifts together," the 41-year-old recalls.

Family man dies - "Of course you're plagued by self-reproach"

Claudia doesn't know whether it would be easier for her to say goodbye if her husband had died as a result of an accident or illness.

"Of course you're plagued by self-reproach, that's how you get up in the morning and go to bed at night." Even worse: "I'm also being reproached from the outside as to why I wouldn't have decided differently." But that wasn't an option for her.

Now Claudia Priller has to reorganize family life.

Her main focus is on her children.

After Holy Epiphany she will work again.

"Fortunately, I have a very understanding employer who gave me a lot of time and freedom." In addition to her job, she delivers newspapers.

With 1000 euros, the majority of the income goes on the rent.

The financial worries are great, "because up to now I also had to pay the rent for my husband's apartment".

Claudia also lacks the means for a pretty design of the grave.

The car is no longer the youngest.

And the daughter attends a church school, for which Claudia Priller has to pay school fees, as well as the childcare costs for Sebastian.

Helping people at risk of suicide

“You should pay close attention when your partner or friend changes”

She would like to determine a message based on her experiences: “You should pay close attention when your partner or a friend changes.

And then you should ask what's going on, whether he or she needs help.” Mindfulness and charity are often neglected in everyday life.

light in hearts

The readers' aid organization of the Erdinger/Dorfener Anzeiger supports people in need through no fault of their own in the district - as in this case the Priller family.

Donations can be made to the account (number 17 111) at Sparkasse Erding.

Account holder: Zeitungsverlag Oberbayern.

IBAN: DE54 7005 1995 0000 0171 11. Donation receipts can be issued on request.

Please note this with your address on the transfer slip.

The names of the donors will be published.

If you do not want this, please also note it on the transfer.

Note:

We generally do not report on suicides, lest such cases encourage potential imitators.

Reporting only takes place if the circumstances receive special public attention.

If you or someone you know needs help, please contact the telephone counseling service on Tel

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You can find more current news from the district of Erding at Merkur.de/Erding.