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What is "Madonna-whore"?
This is a men's complex, which was first recognized by Sigmund Freud: "Where such men love - they have no passion, and where they desire - they have no love," he wrote.
When he expanded on the phenomenon, he clarified that these are men who divide the women in their lives into two main categories - holy and pure, who deserves to be the mother of his children and his partner (the Madonna) and is not seen as attractive in his eyes, or a 'prostitute' - who is not appreciated by him and is seen as nothing but an object used for sexual release, and for the most part even arouses contempt in him.
What it means?
That such a man cannot be attracted to a woman he loves and appreciates, all the more if she is the mother of his children, and cannot love women whom he "fucks" (and therefore pollutes with his lust).
This man spends his life trying to fill the gap that remains between these poles, which fail to connect, and from this abyss he loves the woman he is not interested in fucking, and is unable to respect the one he is attracted to.
Many men are placed on the scale of this complex, and it is extreme in direct proportion to open-mindedness and class differences.
The phenomenon is more serious in cultures where there is a separation between men and women, in religiously oriented countries, and in military oriented countries.
That is, with us.
Due to the fact that love and sex are contradictory concepts, this leaves him in the area of short relationships that are based mainly on sex and not on connection, not to mention emotion, and if he does manage a permanent relationship, he will probably cheat - with other women, with men, even .
Coined the term: Sigmund Freud (Photo: GettyImages)
What is the "whore-saint complex"?
The madonna-whore complex is a psychological concept that refers to the dichotomy that some men have in their minds between women who are perceived as good, pure and motherly (madonnas), who in their view should not be sexual but more child-oriented.
The "prostitute" characterizes more extroverted women, "bad girls" who love sex, which is perceived by these men as sexually promiscuous, and therefore as promiscuous. This complex can lead to the fact that these men can only contain the female figure when it is divided into two dichotomous and completely separate parts - that is, They cannot have one woman whom they love and desire sexually - women in their eyes are not rounded, realized and composed of a variety of characteristics and features.
Sigmund Freud, to whom the term is attributed, argued that the Madonna-whore dichotomy is the result of men's unconscious desires and fears about sexuality and women.
According to Freud, men may idealize the figure of the Madonna as a way to deal with their own feelings of guilt or sexual anxiety, while simultaneously degrading the figure of the prostitute as a way to avoid the possibility of sexual rejection or failure.
There is some debate between psychologists and feminists (well, what?) about the relevance of the harlot-saint complex today.
Some argue that it reflects a deeply ingrained cultural bias that continues to shape men's attitudes and behaviors toward women, while others argue that it is an outdated concept largely unsupported by evidence.
Regardless of its current relevance, the madonna-whore complex highlights the ways in which social expectations and gender roles can affect the way men perceive and treat women.
For example, a man who has great love and respect for his longtime partner, and he sees her as a pure and kind-hearted woman who represents all that is good, inclusive, and motherly, and therefore it is difficult for him to treat her, even at the moment of the act, as a sexual object - the perception of women in these two opposite poles Makes him think of the act of love itself as a "dirty" and inappropriate action, which he cannot do with the woman he respects.
The same man will probably need other women, those who are not in loving relationships, who are not mothers, or who do not possess the qualities of holiness that he attributes to "holiness", but as sexually promiscuous. Since he despises his sexual urges and treats them as impurity - this is how he will also treat the women he is with chooses to do the act. If a woman is able to enjoy this disgust, she is probably flawed, and therefore it is not a sin, but a kind of vengeful act of the part that is afraid and disgusted by its own passions, and as a result - passions in general.
It is important to note that the madonna-prostitute complex is not limited to men and can also be found in the attitude of women towards other women.
However, it is more commonly discussed in the context of men's attitudes and behaviors towards women.
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Complex (Photo: GettyImages)
This is how you will recognize him
Idealization of one while slandering others
A man with a Madonna-whore complex may see his partner or wife as a pure "Madonna" figure full of noble virtues, and treat her with excessive gentleness, while seeing other women, who are sexually available, as those who do not deserve respect at all .
Struggling with intimacy and vulnerability
for a man with a madonna-whore complex is very difficult with intimacy and vulnerability.
He sees the figure of the "Madonna" as a safe and non-threatening source of emotional support and the figure of the "prostitute" as a sexual object, and someone not to be trusted, rather than a potential partner.
Objectification
A man with the madonna-whore complex will probably objectify women when he talks to or about them, trying to flatten their image as much as possible so he can contain their presence without having an anxiety attack.
Sexist jokes, statements such as "women - you can't do it with them and you can't do it without them", or "all women like to dig",
A double life
A man with such a complex will probably be single until a late age, because his inability to consolidate between the poles leaves him either with a broken heart because of someone he idolizes from afar only because she is not interested in him, or meaningless flings after which he, panicked, Gets confused, and as a result looks for the next girl, and loses interest in the previous one.
Differences in relationship
A man of this type will usually woo the object thoroughly, which is a bit flattering and a bit excessive - and will not accept "no" for an answer.
He will go, and come back and ask, and convince - until the object is surrendered to him.
As soon as this happens, he will be shut down and forced to evaporate - sometimes without notice, and in the best cases under the pretext of a "commitment problem", or sexual incompatibility.
stereotypical thinking
The older generation passes on to the younger generation the "wisdom" of managing romantic relationships and teaches their daughters and sons "laws of nature" such as: "they only want sex", "you can't trust them", "for talking there are friendships", and other separate sentences such as These, and their counterparts on the opposite sex - a man who suffers from the complex will be characterized by such thinking - you just have to listen.
He has no friendship
for a man with a whore sanctity complex, no female friendship.
Not really.
When he calls someone "friend" it means he slept with her once.
A man who divides women in such a dichotomous way that is oriented towards his personal needs, cannot maintain a friendship with a woman, because for him that is not what she is used for, and he is too busy with himself, and is not free to accommodate anyone else.
He may start such a friendship but immediately bring it back to his comfort zone, or lose interest.
A man with a rose in his pants (Photo: ShutterStock)
If you have met one
Do not develop feelings for him
if you do not get into bed with him for a long time, he may develop feelings for you, but as mentioned, as soon as sex enters the equation - this feeling will disappear and be replaced by disinterest at best, and contempt at worst.
So don't get into bed with him either.
at all.
If you really have to, at least try not to get attached, and don't be surprised when he disappears, because we told you.
Don't try to explain to him that he has a complex
, yes, of course - communication is the most important thing, but only in a relationship between equals, not when you are aware and he is walking in the dark.
If you explain your thesis to him, he may very much enjoy the diagnosis, because he likes to talk about himself, no matter what the context, but if he doesn't come to the conclusion of his own accord that he's screwed and goes to take care of himself, your conversation probably won't help.
Waste of energy.
Seek professional help
It's true, he's crazy, but you also have to check yourself if you keep falling for men who can't feel.
If your relationships repeat themselves and cause you mental and emotional distress time and time again, don't send him to treatment - go yourself.
and release him.
Sheee
Saxipedia
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