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Bullying: What Parents Can Do to Help Victims and Stop Bullies

2023-01-16T17:57:59.688Z


One in 5 minors reports having been a victim of "bullying", so prevention strategies and parental support are crucial.


Family expert gives tips against "bullying" 2:35

(CNN) --

There's a bullying crisis in America's schools, and the solution is knowing what to do before it happens.


One in 5 students reports having been a victim of "bullying", according to data from the National Center for Educational Statistics.

The US government website StopBullying.gov defines bullying behavior as an imbalance of power between perpetrator and victim, and repeated (or potentially repeated) incidents.

  • A school in Barcelona holds a workshop with dogs to prevent bullying

Prevention is at the center of measures to solve the problem of bullying, instead of waiting to respond once a more violent episode occurs or once many incidents turn into tragedy.

StopBullying.gov provides resources for schools on how to educate students about bullying, as well as techniques for keeping the lines of communication open between students and staff.

But parents can also play a key role in this effort.

"We know that victims of bullying can experience negative impacts in all areas of their lives," said Amanda McGough, a clinical psychologist who works with adolescents and adults and also serves as chapter president of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. from North Carolina.

"It threatens their mental, emotional, physical, social, and academic functioning. This can look like low self-esteem, depression, isolation, physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches, or avoiding school."

Parents should talk with their children about the importance of reporting bullying behavior to school personnel.

Credit: WavebreakMediaMicro/Adobe Stock

Bullying can have a negative impact on children's lives now more than ever.

"The integration of social media into the lives of adolescents further exacerbates the impacts of bullying," Nikki Pagano, a licensed clinical social worker in Charlotte, North Carolina, said by email.

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"Before social media, there could have been an unpleasant interaction at school and that's mostly where it stops," Pagano said.

"Now, that interaction carries over to the home and is inescapable. Instead of one person making you feel bad, there may be something posted online and peers may be viewing or even liking this post."

  • What is school harassment or "bullying", what consequences can it have and how to prevent it?

The first thing you can do is talk to your child about the importance of reporting bullying behavior to a school staff member.

If your children witness another student being excluded, teased, humiliated, threatened, or physically hurt, they should tell an adult.

Most children will not feel comfortable stepping in to help a victim on the spot for fear of retaliation from a bully.

But bystanders can still have a powerful and positive effect, not only by reporting the behavior, but also by talking to the victim privately afterward.

Coach your child to say something supportive like, "I saw what happened and that wasn't right" or "What that person told you isn't true."

Affirming the value of another student, even in private, can help prevent the child from feeling like a complete outsider.

Bullying can have a more intrusive impact on the lives of children today as a result of social media.

Credit: myboys.me/Adobe Stock

If your children feel bullied, they should also report this behavior to the school, even if they are only comfortable doing so anonymously.

Many of the high school students I work with in my summer leadership programs report that planning ahead what they will do or say if someone is mean to them helps prevent repeat bullying and makes them feel empowered.

If you suspect your children are the ones bullying, get them the help they need with emotional regulation.

Studies show that the coping skills taught in cognitive behavioral therapy can help young people manage their overwhelming feelings and cope in positive ways that will benefit them, as well as their family and peers, throughout their lives.

"If your child is bullying, approach him by first asking questions about his perspective on the situation," McGough advised.

"Make it clear to them what your expectations are for how they treat other people, and make sure you're modeling this yourself. Help them understand that their words and actions impact the other person, and set clear consequences if the bullying behavior continues."

You may have to do more.

"If this pattern is persistent," McGough said, "consultation with a mental health professional may be necessary, as mental health conditions can sometimes contribute to bullying."


Not sure if your child is a bully?

Parents can watch for the following signs of possible bullying according to the StopBullying.gov website.

It's time to start a conversation about bullying with your kids if you notice that:

  • They get into physical or verbal fights.

  • They have friends who bully others.

  • They are getting more and more aggressive.

  • They are sent to the principal's office or detention frequently.

  • They have unexplained extra money or new belongings.

  • They blame others for their problems.

  • They do not accept responsibility for their actions.

  • They are competitive and care about their reputation or popularity.

"Often, something else is going on with these kids: maybe they've been bullied or don't feel accepted by their peers, maybe there are challenges for them at home or at school," Pagano said.

"This could be an opportunity to get help from a child and prevent future bullying."

-- Michelle Icard is an author, educator and parenting speaker.

You can learn more about her work on her website MichelleIcard.com.

Bullying

Source: cnnespanol

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